Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

[TheGoutburglar]

@KillDeer That is very clearly a comb-back. I mean I thought so before, but from that angle, and especially with that being a few years ago, it's more obvious to me than ever that Phil has been growing his bangs out super long and greasing them back to cover what is probably a complete lack of hair under all that.

What an unbelievably undignified look. Seriously, I would say this about anybody doing it. If you do that, you need therapy. BAD.

I also think it might be a laptop. Why would she have her own tiny televison?

If it is a computer, this unravels a bunch of Phil's lies. In his wedding story stream, during the part where he is explaining how his stupid parents couldn't find his hotel, he specifically said his dad uses a computer at work and his mom never uses a computer. They are technologically inept and never use the internet. They are so old that they have Obama flip phones with no internet.

Either his mom has a tiny televison to watch QVC shopping all day, or his mom has a laptop computer.

I think we all know the most logical reason why Phil would lie about such a thing: he doesn't want detractors talking to his parents. Not harassing them, talking to them. I don't believe for one second that he gives a shit about his mother and father seeing some disgusting photoshop sent by a dumb troll. I DO believe that he greatly fears the thought of one of someone like Mighty D having a polite conversation through email where he gets certain questions answered by a pair of people who have no idea what they're supposed to lie about.

I mean seriously, if you were Phil, which would keep you up at night: Your mom seeing a clip of him jerking off, or your mom telling some nice person convincingly posing as a fan what REALLY happened with the Wolverine toy?

 

[KillDeer]

@KillDeer That is very clearly a comb-back. I mean I thought so before, but from that angle, and especially with that being a few years ago, it's more obvious to me than ever that Phil has been growing his bangs out super long and greasing them back to cover what is probably a complete lack of hair under all that.

What an unbelievably undignified look. Seriously, I would say this about anybody doing it. If you do that, you need therapy. BAD.

I agree. Its a very strange and disgusting thing to see. He can't commit to letting the red areas grow long enough to match up with the blue so they just end and creates this strange penis shape. It literally looks like the underside of a cock

 

[Tumbo]

I don't think he's got bells palsy specifically as that mainly affects ones ability to open and close an eye. however I'm still floored Phil has just delt with something as noticable as his mouth deformity for what I can only guess has been years. most people would have gone to a Dr and a least gotten a diagnosis.

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

I've had Bells in middle school. Paralyzed half my facial muscles so couldn't blink or move my mouth on my left side. Had to wear an eyepatch to bed.

It went away after a month. Only "damage" that has occurred from it was I guess my left eye drying up and might have affected my vision? So nah, it's not Bells.

 

[Tumbo]

I've had Bells in middle school. Paralyzed half my facial muscles so couldn't blink or move my mouth on my left side. Had to wear an eyepatch to bed.

It went away after a month. Only "damage" that has occurred from it was I guess my left eye drying up and might have affected my vision? So nah, it's not Bells.

Any idea how you got it?

 

[TheGoutburglar]

@KillDeer I get the distinct impression that it looks that way because he doesn't actually have enough hair to make it look normal. Even when that hairstyle is done poorly, it doesn't look so weird, or have that canyon of baldness right in the middle of it. Not unless the person is trying to hide something.

I would love to see what's under that greasy mop he has been sporting. He was clearly balding pretty badly back in his shaved head days, and it's very obvious that he finally noticed and started growing it out in order to try concealing that fact.

What's sad is that I and a lot of other people wouldn't even give a shit about him being bald if he was honest about it. It's not embarrassing unless you MAKE it that way.

 

[Comma]

I agree. Its a very strange and disgusting thing to see. He can't commit to letting the red areas grow long enough to match up with the blue so they just end and creates this strange penis shape. It literally looks like the underside of a cock
View attachment 1533081

So... basically, DSP is a massive dickhead.

Who would have thought?

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I agree. Its a very strange and disgusting thing to see. He can't commit to letting the red areas grow long enough to match up with the blue so they just end and creates this strange penis shape. It literally looks like the underside of a cock
View attachment 1533081

There is no way that anything that bizarre can be natural. Sure, none of us know what the back our heads look like but somebody should have mentioned something like this to him at some point.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

There is no way that anything that bizarre can be natural. Sure, none of us know what the back our heads look like but somebody should have mentioned something like this to him at some point.

It's not like it would change anything for the better if they did. Not once have I've seen or heard about an instance where someone contradicted what Phil thought/felt and been met with anything other than stubborn resistance to improvement.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

@KillDeer I get the distinct impression that it looks that way because he doesn't actually have enough hair to make it look normal. Even when that hairstyle is done poorly, it doesn't look so weird, or have that canyon of baldness right in the middle of it. Not unless the person is trying to hide something.

I would love to see what's under that greasy mop he has been sporting. He was clearly balding pretty badly back in his shaved head days, and it's very obvious that he finally noticed and started growing it out in order to try concealing that fact.

What's sad is that I and a lot of other people wouldn't even give a shit about him being bald if he was honest about it. It's not embarrassing unless you MAKE it that way.

I think we discussed this in the hair thread, but I legitimately think he's going to end up doubling down by buying either hair plugs or one of those hair regrowth products or whatever, even though the best course of action for him would just be to stop desperately holding on to the little hair he has and shave his head. Anything that he convinced himself is a detractor meme is completely dismissed by him. The same way the best course of action for him would be to wear his glasses at all times, but he never wears them because in is head they're a detractor meme and he can't let those detractors win.

He is going to have to confront it sooner or later, the front hair he grows out to use as a comb-back isn't getting any thicker and his hairline is receding.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

He is going to have to confront it sooner or later, the front hair he grows out to use as a comb-back isn't getting any thicker and his hairline is receding.

Yeah, unlike struggling to see his TV screen, which he can compensate for by moving it closer or getting a bigger one, this isn't something he can ignore forever. Eventually there won't be anything to comb back. If he's lucky, he'll wind up trying out wigs first because Khet suggested it or something, and manage to avoid the embarrassment of plugs or regrowth products potentially not working. Which is possible, because, true to his nature, Phil has already waited way too long to try such methods, and is obviously going to let it get way worse before he lifts a finger to do anything but comb it back and grease it up.

 

[Autism Spectroscopy]

It literally looks like the underside of a cock

It's a picture of a cock from the back side where I'm sitting

 

[SkippyLongbottom]

Any idea how you got it?

Best idea I got was some infection I picked up being a dirty outdoor kid during the time and would fall asleep at the skatepark. Since it's a reaction to a viral infection and I remember having a really annoying sore on my tongue at the time so it might have picked up something being a mouth breather.

Since I'm for sure it's not Bells for Phil because he would have said so by now. I'm more leaning on a mini stroke that he has no idea about it occurring and/or doesn't want to say to come off as an unhealthy weak person.

 

[Shambler]

Since I'm for sure it's not Bells for Phil because he would have said so by now. I'm more leaning on a mini stroke that he has no idea about it occurring and/or doesn't want to say to come off as an unhealthy weak person.

i have a family member who suffered a pretty bad stroke last year, and this year had a mini stroke before the whole Rona hit hard.
the only indication for us that he even had one was that we noticed he was dragging his bum leg when before he'd try and lift it.
phil constantly slurs his words and rearranges phrases that seem to only make sense to him
so i'd bet that if we could see his walk we'd know if he had one
edit: does anyone remember when he told that story about how he tripped coming down the stairs and twisted his ankle? or did that not happen

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

i have a family member who suffered a pretty bad stroke last year, and this year had a mini stroke before the whole Rona hit hard.
the only indication for us that he even had one was that we noticed he was dragging his bum leg when before he'd try and lift it.
phil constantly slurs his words and rearranges phrases that seem to only make sense to him
so i'd bet that if we could see his walk we'd know if he had one
edit: does anyone remember when he told that story about how he tripped coming down the stairs and twisted his ankle? or did that not happen

I don't recall Phil tripping on the stairs. Leanna fell down the stairs once while Phil was streaming.

I do remember Phil saying he twisted his ankle, but not from the stairs. He said he accidentally fell asleep on the couch. Kat was so worried that Phil hadn't come to bed yet, so she yelled for him. This startled Phil so badly that he jumped up and landed on his foot wrong and twisted his ankle.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

I think we discussed this in the hair thread, but I legitimately think he's going to end up doubling down by buying either hair plugs or one of those hair regrowth products or whatever, even though the best course of action for him would just be to stop desperately holding on to the little hair he has and shave his head. Anything that he convinced himself is a detractor meme is completely dismissed by him. The same way the best course of action for him would be to wear his glasses at all times, but he never wears them because in is head they're a detractor meme and he can't let those detractors win.

He is going to have to confront it sooner or later, the front hair he grows out to use as a comb-back isn't getting any thicker and his hairline is receding.

Phil is vain, there is no doubt about that. He's very proud of his looks and thinks he's this great looking guy. But I don't see him getting plugs any time soon and if he did he'd make up some lie about his camera not working and trying to get it to work while the plugs were still in their fresh and awkward stage. No he's just going to keep his hair slicked back and if necessary start growing it long and sweeping it before he would even think of getting plugs or a wig. And shave his head? Never. He'd get roasted alive if he did that and people memeing the shit out it.

With everything else he's going to deny it because Phil lies about everything.

 

[the khat quaffer]

I had to go back and capture the back of his head from the Project 7 video and as featured in The Goutsketeer's avatar.

View attachment 1531768

The second picture legit looks like someone shot one of those comic book net gun things at his head lmao

Great! And for comparison...

View attachment 1498780

I see no difference whatsoever.

Left: before facial reconstruction surgery
Right: after

It's an improvement.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

I agree. Its a very strange and disgusting thing to see. He can't commit to letting the red areas grow long enough to match up with the blue so they just end and creates this strange penis shape. It literally looks like the underside of a cock
View attachment 1533081

It's retrograde alopecia. Or extreme male pattern baldness.

 

[Shambler]

I don't recall Phil tripping on the stairs. Leanna fell down the stairs once while Phil was streaming.

I do remember Phil saying he twisted his ankle, but not from the stairs. He said he accidentally fell asleep on the couch. Kat was so worried that Phil hadn't come to bed yet, so she yelled for him. This startled Phil so badly that he jumped up and landed on his foot wrong and twisted his ankle.

so my tin foil theory is that this was likely the result of a mini stroke, maybe the sudden movement of "jumping" had just popped something in there, he falls and twists his ankle, i don't think kat or phil would take notice of this as he slurred his words far before he told that story

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Either his mom has a tiny televison to watch QVC shopping all day, or his mom has a laptop computer.

If it's a computer and Linda knows how to go online and Google at all, the fact she's not bawling her eyes out every second she sees Phil suggests something very wrong in that relationship.