Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

[Big Brown Schlub]

If I had the willpower to plug in my gaming pc I would post the 5 second video of Phil shaking his tits where you can see them flopping side to side(he was playing a baseball game),maybe someone else has it.

Another clip where you can see his tits and arm fat flopping around is the one where he stirred curry in Pokemon. It also looks like he's jacking it.

 

[King DDT]

Is there an explanation for why his jaw always skews to one side when he opens his mouth all the way?

I was just about to post about this when I saw yours. I was watching some Tevin shit and saw this wax figure melting staring me down.

Spoiler: Palsy

I refuse to believe that Dave doesn't have some kind of birth defect.

When Phil moved to Washington he brought many boxes and plastic totes filled with his stuff. After unpacking them, he left them in a pile in his garage. He couldn't put them away neatly because he has a bad back.

When he flew his parents out to visit, his dad finally put all the boxes and totes on a shelf. Phil was happy because he couldn't do it himself because he has a bad back.

Yet when Christmas comes around, Phil is able to haul out his artificial tree and multiple boxes filled with lights and ornaments. He can stand for a long period and bend and twist and lift while decorating his tree.

Almost seems like his bad back is an excuse not to do something he doesn't want to do.

It's been said to death but the PC unboxing video is further proof of this. I have no doubt that he has some kind of discomfort, maybe even pain in his lower back. It happens when you spend the majority of your time sedentary. After a few months into the pandemic, I realized I was spending way too much time on my PC doing nothing when I started to have some mild lower back pain. I picked up a beginner's yoga routine and in less than a month, I was feeling better than ever. Dave probably goes from sausage mode on stream to sausage mode in front of his downstairs TV. He's just going from playing video games for "his job" to playing games on his phone.
I wouldn't put it past him to have Kat take out the trash because 'his back' prohibits him from straining himself.

I'd love to see some candid footage of Dave and his pet waddling around Kroger's, asking employees to lift items heavier than a couple pounds into the cart.

 

[Autism Spectroscopy]

Dude, in my experience, 5 years of hard study (approx. 12-16 hours a day) has degenerated my back muscles, and also made my herniated disc much worse.

I'm sure this pussy has his back fucked worse than that. Not meant to powerlevel, just for comparison, he has sat on his ass twice as long, while also not having any kind of excerise. Also he is almost 40, so it must be much harder to get it fixed.

So I really think he has an back issue, not diagnosed medically yet, which also only his fault. Also, King of Suffering gets it the worst, guys, the tips literally lift the weight on his shoulders!

 

[Prince Lotor]

I was just about to post about this when I saw yours. I was watching some Tevin shit and saw this wax figure melting staring me down.

Spoiler: Palsy

View attachment 1526005

I refuse to believe that Dave doesn't have some kind of birth defect.


It's been said to death but the PC unboxing video is further proof of this. I have no doubt that he has some kind of discomfort, maybe even pain in his lower back. It happens when you spend the majority of your time sedentary. After a few months into the pandemic, I realized I was spending way too much time on my PC doing nothing when I started to have some mild lower back pain. I picked up a beginner's yoga routine and in less than a month, I was feeling better than ever. Dave probably goes from sausage mode on stream to sausage mode in front of his downstairs TV. He's just going from playing video games for "his job" to playing games on his phone.
I wouldn't put it past him to have Kat take out the trash because 'his back' prohibits him from straining himself.

I'd love to see some candid footage of Dave and his pet waddling around Kroger's, asking employees to lift items heavier than a couple pounds into the cart.

Fun Fact: This is the only thing Phil ever did for his back, besides drinking a shit-ton of alcohol to "numb the pain" that is.

Timestamped @ 1m14s

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Correct if I'm wrong, but I believe Phil said that in high school, people remarked about his oddly-shaped head. And indeed, since he started on YouTube, it has been noticeable, but in old pictures from his FGC days (the early days, that is), when he was skinny, he didn't look so weird. Maybe it's the angles, but he appears relatively normal-looking. Today he couldn't take a good picture if he hired a professional (not that he would do that, but hypothetically if he did it wouldn't work out). Age just seems to have taken way more of a toll on him than is normal, and I wonder just how much of that could have potentially been mitigated by adopting a healthier lifestyle.

 

[Schmeckel]

Correct if I'm wrong, but I believe Phil said that in high school, people remarked about his oddly-shaped head. And indeed, since he started on YouTube, it has been noticeable, but in old pictures from his FGC days (the early days, that is), when he was skinny, he didn't look so weird. Maybe it's the angles, but he appears relatively normal-looking. Today he couldn't take a good picture if he hired a professional (not that he would do that, but hypothetically if he did it wouldn't work out). Age just seems to have taken way more of a toll on him than is normal, and I wonder just how much of that could have potentially been mitigated by adopting a healthier lifestyle.

Once upon a time, Phil looked like your normal NEET. Nothing out of the ordinary, he'd never stick out in a crowd unless he was making a scene of himself.

After he stopped doing FGC, he clearly fell into a routine of gin and bacon. His head might have been misshapen during his formative years, but his body surely followed when he became a sofa sausage.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Correct if I'm wrong, but I believe Phil said that in high school, people remarked about his oddly-shaped head. And indeed, since he started on YouTube, it has been noticeable, but in old pictures from his FGC days (the early days, that is), when he was skinny, he didn't look so weird. Maybe it's the angles, but he appears relatively normal-looking. Today he couldn't take a good picture if he hired a professional (not that he would do that, but hypothetically if he did it wouldn't work out). Age just seems to have taken way more of a toll on him than is normal, and I wonder just how much of that could have potentially been mitigated by adopting a healthier lifestyle.

His alcoholism and shitty sedentary lifestyle clearly did fuck him up with age. He liked talking about how Itahlien he was back in the day, but when you look at how he looked like back in the FGC days, especially when he was clean shaven, if you put him in Poland or any other Western Slavic country he'd look indistinguishable from the average stocky potato man that inhabits them.

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

Phil was perfectly below normal looking until his 20s. He always had a bit of an oddly-shaped head and subhuman maxilla, but nothing notably grotesque. It wasn't until he got fat in the mid-2000s that he went way downhill.

Also, I'd bet that the oddly-shaped head story never happened. He said that in his overly dramatic lying voice. Phil was probably just the ugly kid in high school that everyone ignored, and he was so busy focusing on his grades giving him the excuse to never be socially successful.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

View attachment 1527410

Phil was perfectly below normal looking until his 20s. He always had a bit of an oddly-shaped head and subhuman maxilla, but nothing notably grotesque. It wasn't until he got fat in the mid-2000s that he went way downhill.

I see what you mean, with the one on the left. On the right, that Phil has always been noticeably not right. I dread to think what he'll look like at 60, if he makes it that long.

Also, I'd bet that the oddly-shaped head story never happened. He said that in his overly dramatic lying voice. Phil was probably just the ugly kid in high school that everyone ignored, and he was so busy focusing on his grades giving him the excuse to never be socially successful.

Oh I didn't believe it, I just wasn't sure if he said that was high school or some time later. I'm guessing he has contradicted himself since telling that story, as well.

And "busy focusing on grades" is a very weird thing to picture Phil doing. But thanks to the SoK, we know he did graduate valedictorian, so I guess he must have. Also must have hated it something fierce.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Dude, in my experience, 5 years of hard study (approx. 12-16 hours a day) has degenerated my back muscles, and also made my herniated disc much worse.

I'm sure this pussy has his back fucked worse than that. Not meant to powerlevel, just for comparison, he has sat on his ass twice as long, while also not having any kind of excerise. Also he is almost 40, so it must be much harder to get it fixed.

So I really think he has an back issue, not diagnosed medically yet, which also only his fault. Also, King of Suffering gets it the worst, guys, the tips literally lift the weight on his shoulders!

Years of no exercise has definitely atrophied Phil's muscles to the point where he physically can't lift 20lbs.

But the bad back stories going back to the 2000's are grossly exaggerated.

There is too much video evidence.

 

[TheGoutburglar]

Years of no exercise has definitely atrophied Phil's muscles to the point where he physically can't lift 20lbs.

But the bad back stories going back to the 2000's are grossly exaggerated.

There is too much video evidence.

It feels good to watch someone lie about having a physical problem only to give themselves exactly that through years of self-abuse. Serves him right.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

View attachment 1527410

Phil was perfectly below normal looking until his 20s. He always had a bit of an oddly-shaped head and subhuman maxilla, but nothing notably grotesque. It wasn't until he got fat in the mid-2000s that he went way downhill.

Also, I'd bet that the oddly-shaped head story never happened. He said that in his overly dramatic lying voice. Phil was probably just the ugly kid in high school that everyone ignored, and he was so busy focusing on his grades giving him the excuse to never be socially successful.

I never realized how weak his chin was. The patchy goatee and the neck fat makes it difficult to make out.

A prime physical specimen he isn't.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

Looking at Phil’s picture in 2001, it kind of reminds me of that character in Full Metal Jacket.

Minus the angry smile, of course.

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

Looking at Phil’s picture in 2001, it kind of reminds me of that character in Full Metal Jacket.

View attachment 1528255

Minus the angry smile, of course.

Private Pyle was still better looking and more likable than Phil could ever hope to be.

 

[tits-Burnell]

It would be interesting to see his mother's appearance. Whilst his general lifestyle is certainly to blame for his horrifying appearance, I don't think he was dealt a winning hand in the genetics department.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

It would be interesting to see his mother's appearance. Whilst his general lifestyle is certainly to blame for his horrifying appearance, I don't think he was dealt a winning hand in the genetics department.

You can briefly see his mom in the video

She appears to have some sort of screen on a table in her lap. Is it a tiny televison that only she can watch, or a laptop?

 

[Phil Ken Sebben]

You can briefly see his mom in the video

She appears to have some sort of screen on a table in her lap. Is it a tiny televison that only she can watch, or a laptop?
View attachment 1528895

Looks like a widescreen laptop.

 

[KillDeer]

I had to go back and capture the back of his head from the Project 7 video and as featured in The Goutsketeer's avatar.

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Looks like a widescreen laptop.

I also think it might be a laptop. Why would she have her own tiny televison?

If it is a computer, this unravels a bunch of Phil's lies. In his wedding story stream, during the part where he is explaining how his stupid parents couldn't find his hotel, he specifically said his dad uses a computer at work and his mom never uses a computer. They are technologically inept and never use the internet. They are so old that they have Obama flip phones with no internet.

Either his mom has a tiny televison to watch QVC shopping all day, or his mom has a laptop computer.

 

[draculapenis]

Another clip where you can see his tits and arm fat flopping around is the one where he stirred curry in Pokemon. It also looks like he's jacking it.
View attachment 1525777

Further (unnecessary) proof that he is a jello man is that his tits have their own momentum. It's actually even more amazing that his tits do this when he's not even technically obese, because it just shows how little muscle he has under his manboobs.