Orbiter Phil’s Weird Body... - Like, WTF? I’ve never seen anything like it.

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One of the thing I find so funny about lolcows in general is how many of them are so unhealthy they look way older than what they are, Ethan Ralph for example straight up looks like a 55 or 60 year old and Phil definitely looks 15 years older than what he is, show this picture to anyone (or any picture of him to be fair) and no one will say he just turned 40, ugly and unhealthy mother fucker, there is a picture I can't find right now of Phil on EVO with a sign on the back that says "EVO 2011" and Phil looks 45 years old, he looks like a dad that gave his kid a ride to the event and decided to stay there until it's time to take his kid back home, it's a combination of an extremely unhealthy lifestyle where he eats the worst food you can imagine, drinks ridiculous amounts of alcohol every day, gets less exercise than rob on wheels and sees no sunlight combined with the most shit tier genetics possible, Phil is by default an ugly mother fucker with an oddly shaped head and the facial structure of an incel(if you look at pics of him when he was 19 or 20 he was a jawless skinny kid with no cheekbones), but to add on top of his default uglyness a terrible lifestlye makes him one awful dent to look at.

Phil never had a gf before Leanna and I wouldn't be surprised if he never went on a date before that either, Phil is super autisitc, low IQ and ugly as hell combined with the worst personality you can imagine,one of the pieces of the lore that I love is that if it wasn't because of making it on the internet he would still be a virgin(and he only meet Leanna after he kept messaging her on Xbox and pestering her to meet IRL, correct me if I got that part of the lore wrong).

EDIT: It was on youtube DMs not Xbox messages.

EDIT 2: I found the pic of phil in EVO 2011
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Funko Pops NFT collector said:
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One of the thing I find so funny about lolcows in general is how many of them are so unhealthy they look way older than what they are, Ethan Ralph for example straight up looks like a 55 or 60 year old and Phil definitely looks 15 years older than what he is, show this picture to anyone (or any picture of him to be fair) and no one will say he just turned 40, ugly and unhealthy mother fucker, there is a picture I can't find right now of Phil on EVO with a sign on the back that says "EVO 2011" and Phil looks 45 years old, he looks like a dad that gave his kid a ride to the event and decided to stay there until it's time to take his kid back home, it's a combination of an extremely unhealthy lifestyle where he eats the worst food you can imagine, drinks ridiculous amounts of alcohol every day, gets less exercise than rob on wheels and sees no sunlight combined with the most shit tier genetics possible, Phil is by default an ugly mother fucker with an oddly shaped head and the facial structure of an incel(if you look at pics of him when he was 19 or 20 he was a jawless skinny kid with no cheekbones), but to add on top of his default uglyness a terrible lifestlye makes him one awful dent to look at.

Phil never had a gf before Leanna and I wouldn't be surprised if he never went on a date before that either, Phil is super autisitc, low IQ and ugly as hell combined with the worst personality you can imagine,one of the pieces of the lore that I love is that if it wasn't because of making it on the internet he would still be a virgin(and he only meet Leanna after he kept messaging her on Xbox and pestering her to meet IRL, correct me if I got that part of the lore wrong).
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Jesus Christ he looks straight out of a 1930's German propaganda poster. The two things missing are the picture being black and white and the word "UNTERMENSCH" on the bottom.
 
If there is one reason I am on this wild ride it is to see how much further he physically deteriorates before our very eyes.
 
Any reason why Phil would wear a shirt under this? He low key wearing the black begging shirt under this XL shirt(his words).
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He says he normally wears Large but he fills those out quite nicely and does no activities. I'm under the impression that he's trying to appear not a complete bag of fat of bones, yeah? Like he obviously has no muscles yet can fill out a Large? Yeah nah man.
 
Funko Pops NFT collector said:
View attachment 3436346

One of the thing I find so funny about lolcows in general is how many of them are so unhealthy they look way older than what they are, Ethan Ralph for example straight up looks like a 55 or 60 year old and Phil definitely looks 15 years older than what he is, show this picture to anyone (or any picture of him to be fair) and no one will say he just turned 40, ugly and unhealthy mother fucker, there is a picture I can't find right now of Phil on EVO with a sign on the back that says "EVO 2011" and Phil looks 45 years old, he looks like a dad that gave his kid a ride to the event and decided to stay there until it's time to take his kid back home, it's a combination of an extremely unhealthy lifestyle where he eats the worst food you can imagine, drinks ridiculous amounts of alcohol every day, gets less exercise than rob on wheels and sees no sunlight combined with the most shit tier genetics possible, Phil is by default an ugly mother fucker with an oddly shaped head and the facial structure of an incel(if you look at pics of him when he was 19 or 20 he was a jawless skinny kid with no cheekbones), but to add on top of his default uglyness a terrible lifestlye makes him one awful dent to look at.

Phil never had a gf before Leanna and I wouldn't be surprised if he never went on a date before that either, Phil is super autisitc, low IQ and ugly as hell combined with the worst personality you can imagine,one of the pieces of the lore that I love is that if it wasn't because of making it on the internet he would still be a virgin(and he only meet Leanna after he kept messaging her on Xbox and pestering her to meet IRL, correct me if I got that part of the lore wrong).

EDIT: It was on youtube DMs not Xbox messages.

EDIT 2: I found the pic of phil in EVO 2011
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I always thought it would be an interesting idea if someone did videos where you just show random people pictures of dsp and ask them questions, like what do you think of this guy or how old does he look? You wouldn't even need actual video footage but just recording the sound would be good enough. Like just show up to a mall or something and show people pictures of phil and record their reactions. It could be pretty funny and it would be interesting to see what people who aren't entrenched in dsp shit everyday think of him and how he looks.
 
So I was revisiting Tevin's old Let's Endure All PandaLee Vlogs videos and there are some really funny moments of Phil (drunkenly) stumbling around their hotel room, walking like a legit senior citizen etc. Decided to screenshot some parts that demonstrate just how bizarre his body shape is.

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His stick arms and no neck are so fucking weird. Also his fat folded earlobe.
I wish Panda's vlogs got archived back in the day, but Tevin does make them entertaining.

Also of course Phil is one of those guys who attaches their phone to the side of their jeans/belt. :story:

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Cistern Rumbler said:
His stick arms and no neck are so fucking weird. Also his fat folded earlobe.
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That crease in his earlobe? It's called "Frank's Sign" and there's a connection between it and people having coronary heart disease later in life.

It's not a 100% correlation but with his shit diet full of meat and carbs with nary a vegetable in sight and his weekly exercise of going out shopping while sitting down for the rest of the week, things aren't looking good for him.

And this guy is only 40? Looks at least 15 years older than that.
 
Cistern Rumbler said:
So I was revisiting Tevin's old Let's Endure All PandaLee Vlogs videos and there are some really funny moments of Phil (drunkenly) stumbling around their hotel room, walking like a legit senior citizen etc. Decided to screenshot some parts that demonstrate just how bizarre his body shape is.

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His stick arms and no neck are so fucking weird. Also his fat folded earlobe.
I wish Panda's vlogs got archived back in the day, but Tevin does make them entertaining.

Also of course Phil is one of those guys who attaches their phone to the side of their jeans/belt. :story:

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The way he waddles around is horrifying. He walks like it takes a monumental effort to put one leg forward and he lacks the coordination to walk right.
 
Third_World_Detractor said:
Have you guys heard of alcoholic myopathy?
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It could be the problem and it certainly hasn't helped but this is a guy who claims to have lifted during high school and college and got really swole. Then when people pointed out his noodle arms he then said his Dad was the one into lifting and he just did it a couple times.

It's like how the Wolverine toy story and Pandalee's hospital crisis went about. As time goes on he changes his stories because he gets caught in his lies.
 
Corpun said:
The way he waddles around is horrifying. He walks like it takes a monumental effort to put one leg forward and he lacks the coordination to walk right.
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It explains why his camcorder vlahg videos can induce seasickness. I mean look at him, he looks like a 16th century Portuguese sailor on board a caravel sailing to the New World, desperately trying to keep his footing while the ship is caught in the middle of a storm.
 
Robust User said:
Is that his cum rag?
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According to Pandalee they rarely fucked and Philbert had trouble getting it up.

Just looking at the infamous fapping video of his I don't think he came and if he did it was probably really weak. Like his noodle arms.
 
Pretty Boy Extremism said:
It explains why his camcorder vlahg videos can induce seasickness. I mean look at him, he looks like a 16th century Portuguese sailor on board a caravel sailing to the New World, desperately trying to keep his footing while the ship is caught in the middle of a storm.
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I know the popular theory with his rocking back and forth is it is autistic stimming but I honestly wonder if his years of alcoholism has warped his brain to thinking that swaying back and forth is normal, like a subconsciously done behavior you hardly notice.

You ever pick up an old game you played a lot of as a kid and its like you never stopped playing with your understanding of controls and where stuff is? I think it is something like that, just with swaying.
 
Phil Ken Sebben said:
According to Pandalee they rarely fucked and Philbert had trouble getting it up.
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Does anyone here know where Pandalee posted about this originally? It's super obvious Phil rarely touched her just from how they interacted but I'd like to read her own words.
 
Deathfromabove said:
Does anyone here know where Pandalee posted about this originally? It's super obvious Phil rarely touched her just from how they interacted but I'd like to read her own words.
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Its in the vlog where she's doing a tour of her office. Phil has arms like a girl just straight up noodles and a dude belly lol. These photos were also when he was like 30.
 
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