🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Crocodylus Acutus]

Null you need to let Ralph move in with you when you guys return to the states. We need the gunt and feeder roommates arc.

"Sorry guys, no MATI today, I couldn't get any sleep last night. I keep hearing hollerin and squealin coming from the other room, and when I left this morning there was a trail Xanax leading to my trash cans."

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

I do not consider Ralph a reliable narrator.

Agreed, but he didn’t invent that out of whole cloth. She said something to him about him suffering consequences from people she knew. Now, whether that’s her BFF’s boyfriend in Merida, her family members, or maybe folks they know, who knows? I’m sure Gunt misquoted her and exaggerated but I’ll bet she said something about it and it’s got him running scared.

 

[Obsul]

The nanosecond I start feeling bored of the Sektur and consider taking a break from the farms for a week or two, this happens. Bravo, Ralph. You truly are the Ralphamale.

 

[UCantCCPMe]

"Sorry guys, no MATI today, I couldn't get any sleep last night. I keep hearing hollerin and squealin coming from the other room, and when I left this morning there was a trail Xanax leading to my trash cans."

"And that burger I threw out last night was missing. Also, when I got out there, I slipped on a puddle of tears, banged up my knee pretty bad and I always told myself if I couldn't do jumping jacks during the show...... then there would be no show. So, hopefully next week."

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

This fits Gunt to a T

https://youtu.be/3coFfbVgRso?si=szv4FjPuZYe_noEz

For those who don’t speak Spanish, the title of this all-time banger by Ramon Ayala basically means “Bitter Shots of Liquor”

Lyrics roughly translate thus

Attached to this corner
the way you're attached to my heart,
These shots I drink are pure sadness and my pain

You left and I don't know why,
I know you loved me and I know you adored me,
And just in case you want to return, I will wait. I will wait.

Shots of bitter liquor that can't make me forget,
And I feel like a coward and I even start to cry.

You left and I don't know why,
I know you loved me and I know you adored me,
And just in case you want to return, I will wait. I will wait.

Shots of bitter liquor that can't make me forget,
And I feel like a coward and I even start to cry.

 

[Feldgrau]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKZbj_DP6Yo

Like Johm said, Ralph. Get back to the US. Any consequences you're worried about facing in the states will be infinitely better than what could happen in Mexico.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Sicario’s are going to find Ralph with directives to torture him and see his fucked up eye and burn-victim gunt skin and think somebody else already took care of it.

 

[Poop Shoot]

Nah you’re all trying to make Ethan look like a bitch. She’s just some whore, he should ignore it and live it up in Mexico.

Nothing bad will happen as long as he continues to post about how he would fuck up the Cartels. They leave people alone as long as they assert themselves.

He’ll be fine. Gettem Ralphie.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

RALPH DONT SCARE BISH

You think some whore who let you cum inside her is going to chase you out of Mexico? Hell nah. Fire up a livestream dancing and hollering outside Taxco to show that bish RALPHAMALE DONT SCARE. She has nothing on the Ralphamale, there’s zero ZERO pictorial evidence she has anything.

 

[World Star]

Ralph the only way you can guarantee your safety is if you start streaming 24/7.
The cartel won't risk attacking you if their face is seen on your stream.
As a bonus from all the donations you'll rack up you'll be able to pay your way back into the US and resolve all your problems.

 

[FinnSven]

Null you need to let Ralph move in with you when you guys return to the states. We need the gunt and feeder roommates arc.

If one is familiar with the works of the late Rik Mayall and his longtime collaborator Adrian Edminson, this could lead to the closet thing to a reality show version of Bottom and the Young Ones.
I suppose Filthy Rich and Catflap too.

For those unfamiliar, these shows heavily featured dysfunctional roommates fighting and arguing, while sabotaging each other out of hatred and spite, despite the fact they appear to be the closest thing to the only friends to each other.
Bizarre and surreal events would characterize their misadventures. Including sieges, riots and guest acts.

I should think Null would enjoy sabotaging Ralph’s attempts to bed ladies of questionable age and virtue.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

violent organized criminals aren't exactly known for being valiant defenders of womens honor, especially not prostitutes

No, but pimps are known for fucking up or killing people that trash the goods. A dead whore makes less money than a living one.

 

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

this thread before i went to bed: lol, ralph is going to get brutally murder by the cartel for laying hands on a hooker.

this thread when i woke up this morning: lol, ralph is going to get brutally murder by the cartel for laying hands on a hooker.

never change kiwis.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ralph, I know you're reading this: if you had just actually killed her you wouldn't be having any of these problems. You need to commit to these things.

 

[porkWellington]

At the end of the day, this boils down to two things.

Last thing Ralph said of Deni was nothing but love. He's showing growth. This time he was strong enough this time to shrug off the fallout as "the show must go on". That's some real Ralphamale energy

Last thing Deni said of Ralph was making salacious claims about him supposedly hurting her without any pictoral evidence and flexing her political connections to bully Ralph. Truly despicable and cowardly.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Ralph is going to get chased out of more countries than the Jews at this point. Can we get an early life check on Ralph?

 

[Um...]

The funniest, sickest part about all this (apart from Ralph eating poop) is that he doesn’t even have enough dignity left to pretend he’s not reading this thread tonight. What a fucking loser.

That’s always the best part, he always tells on himself. He’s pathetically transparent and 100% predictable. Ole weepy crybaby.

 

[sallowhal]

I don't think he's going to have his intestines used as tinsel on a liveleak video, but he's clearly panicking for a reason.

Might have to go home and pay your bills, taxes and child support after all, lad.

the twitter space is what perked my ears up. even with bottles clinking in the background, drunk and pilled up, trying to put on a brave face for his 300 viewers, he admits there's a 5% chance of him getting murdered.

he likely thinks it's a much higher percentage than that, in reality. whether or not he will or could, he absolutely is scared shitless right now.

 

[变性黑鬼]

Last thing Ralph said of Deni was nothing but love. He's showing growth. This time he was strong enough this time to shrug off the fallout as "the show must go on". That's some real Ralphamale energy

Theory: The higher the road Ralph attempts to take, the worse an act he's attempting to make up for.

Sure, we don't have any data to help us establish how credible this woman's claims are, but we do have a precedent of abuse from Ralph. After listening to the Pantsu recording, I would agree that Ralph is a danger to all women.

I wonder, if he woke up from a xanny binge to a dead girlfriend, what would he do with the body?

 

[fridgesama]

Ralph the only way you can guarantee your safety is if you start streaming 24/7.
The cartel won't risk attacking you if their face is seen on your stream.
As a bonus from all the donations you'll rack up you'll be able to pay your way back into the US and resolve all your problems.

The "get me the fuck outta mehico" fund

"CAN WE HIT THE GOAL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! IF I DON'T HIT THIS GOAL... I JUST MIGHT DIE!"