🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Trigger Me Timbers]

The highlights of Ralphs career will forever be streams where he was passed out drunk.

This is the saddest realization about Ralph’s career.

Let’s just put ourselves in a situation where we are not allowed to bring up any of Ralph’s embarrassing streams. We can’t bring up any pill streams. Can’t bring up any drunk streams. Can’t bring up any streams where he gets pressed by a guest or the chat.

His best shows don’t involve him.

Honestly if you look at the golden years of Ralph, it is just other people being extremely entertaining / having a fight on his show. Ralph would just be be quiet, he may yell the occasional “now wait a minute!” Or a “I don’t know if I can co-sign that, but I understand ya point” and he would just count his super berries.

I honestly cannot think of a really good Killstream which was just Ralph and Ralph wasn’t face down, ass up in pissbottles or having his wife press him on his missing millions.
Ralph’s show lived and died on the backs of other talents and his cohosts. The show was good because Ralph was passive and just let anything happen on his show. “You never know what’s gonna happen on the kill stream!“ exists because the show would only be interesting if a random guest would get a link and jump on to air out dirty laundry against another guest and then blood sports would occur.

 

[deeman]

This might be a TMI, but i have dabbled with benzos, people saying it only works with alcohol are retarded, it makes you wack mixing, but believe me, just doing benzos makes your life float away, i have missed weeks at my worst, waking up with a big pile of PC games i love, no idea were it's from, heard later from my father that apparently i called him and demanded we go to a retro thrift store in the city nearby, he didnt suspect anything but i was oddly jovial and made sure to find stuff. It's a fucking weird drug, and hey, if he changes benzo types we might see a different piggy, they oddly have different "feelings", some makes you go up at night ready to burgle stuff out of the blue. all though you are not a criminal but Benzo, man. some other benzos makes you melt into the sofa.

In short, we will clearly see even if he quits alcohol and still uses benzos, and that drug will destroy his life one way or another. I'm glad i'm out of it, just having a bender for some weeks was tough to go cold turkey, after a year, even if used properly would be hell, doctors prescribing it to other than psychos that really could use a change of characters should be put in jail IMO.

No way he would be strong enough to quit anything, but if he do, i will give him a heartfelt slow clap.

 

[LobsterBoy669]

I don't think he's gonna make it, but I am still rooting for him because he's still occasionally entertaining and I'd rather not see him die of alcoholism and drug abuse this soon. I still think we've got some random moments of kino content for the rest of Ralph's lifespan.

Fact is, even when he's boring, he still occasionally provides those moments where we remember why Ralph is remembered: that is to say: when he makes an ass of himself in an amusing way. Obviously he can't do that when he's dead. That, alone, is why I'm rooting for his recovery. It'll make the inevitable relapse all the better.

 

[Rage Pig]

Ralph has legit mental issues. He's likely coming down from a manic or BPD episode and that's leading him to seek rehab. But the moment that light switches back the other way, old pigger tits will be sucking down the Modelos and Xannies, hollering himself horse.

Yes, the stress from first exposing his horrible body and being laughed at by the whole sektur, followed by public breakups with his two remaining e-daddys in a short period of time most likely caused some kind of nervous breakdown in his little bpd piggy brain.
His life more fucked up than ever, he needed the illusion of a fresh start, unblocking 10k accounts, announcing 3 shows before rehab, then doing only one and pissing off. None of these actions were on his mind a day earlier, this was completely spontaneous. The twitter withdrawal alone will have him oinking in pain by now, while his Mexican meth head room mates are screaming in terror watching the three-tittied demon walk amongst them.

 

[Click reply to view]

he can have a chance in maybe having a good redemption arc.

No.

there are parts of him that he knows he is fucked and needs to get better

No.

If he can get the help he needs and stick to it, then I think that maybe he can at least rebuild some semblance of a presence for himself.

No.

he has that level of self awareness

No.

If he can stay committed to it

No.

maybe he finally hit rock bottom.

No.

 

[JustStopDude]

I think Ralph is gonna get kicked out after he destroys their toilet.

 

[MadStan]

OMG; I love that people have hope, I really do, but all of this “Ethan could possibly…” if he gets clean overlooks the harsh reality that seems that people have forgotten.

Ethan is at heart, a cunt. The drugs and alcohol amplifies that. I could sit here and list the things he has done but there are rules on how long a post should be.

Bless your heart sweet summer child but “born again Ethan” only exists in a donation drive scheme.

 

[DrunkenLemon]

I don't know if this has been pointed out yet. I was watching the Kino Casino, there seems to have been a bit of crossover from Ralph and Bossman.
He's fuckin' a DOOD!

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Ethan Ralph will last longer in rehab than BMJ because Ralph is buck broken and BMJ is a true internet outlaw.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

We might have a repeat of Ralph’s Portugal trips if he is going to this Merida rehab.

I honestly don’t think Piggy is going to any type of legitimate rehab. Taking a look at what “drug rehab” looks like in Merida, in the current day, is either hardcore, no frills detox/rehab run for Mexicans or some level of bullshit pushed on Americanos that is a joke.

Merida, for English speakers, seems to mostly cater to “health detox” bullshit. They are places run by chiropractic types promising to cleanse and restore your health via colonic enemas, massage, vitamins, and lots of different quackery. (Most claim to have some Mexican doctors and nurses checking on you) They definitely can solve your long standing drug dependency with a two-week relaxing vacay in sunny Merida!

Ralph is a moron. Ralph also doesn’t want the difficulty and discomfort of what true sobriety requires. Some Mexican quack with all the promises and quick fix solutions is right up Ralph’s alley.

I was suspicious of where Ralph was going when he implied they checked his blood work? vital stats? he wasn’t clear and wanted him to sign in immediately. (Which sounds like a scam). I’m not sure what tests a place would run on a guy walking in the door inquiring about their services. I can’t imagine any of them needed Ralph to sign in the dotted line NOW!!! “Oh, senor, your enzyme levels are muy mal, your life depend on us having your CC right now. “ If any of his basic vitals were that concerning he would be sent to the hospital.

It all smelled of closing a sale. My bet is Ralph is at one of the holistic scam places, and I’d bet he’d be esp interested in the ones that offer psychedelics as a quick fix to all your problems, but esp addiction. Ibogaine and Ayahuasca would be right up his alley and he’s always liked the idea of drugs to help him quit other drugs.

 

[Axiom.]

he’s always liked the idea of drugs to help him quit other drugs.

Ralphamale truly is the most relatable drug addict.

 

[jewsernotfound]

We might have a repeat of Ralph’s Portugal trips if he is going to this Merida rehab.

I honestly don’t think Piggy is going to any type of legitimate rehab. Taking a look at what “drug rehab” looks like in Merida, in the current day, is either hardcore, no frills detox/rehab run for Mexicans or some level of bullshit pushed on Americanos that is a joke.

Merida, for English speakers, seems to mostly cater to “health detox” bullshit. They are places run by chiropractic types promising to cleanse and restore your health via colonic enemas, massage, vitamins, and lots of different quackery. (Most claim to have some Mexican doctors and nurses checking on you) They definitely can solve your long standing drug dependency with a two-week relaxing vacay in sunny Merida!

Ralph is a moron. Ralph also doesn’t want the difficulty and discomfort of what true sobriety requires. Some Mexican quack with all the promises and quick fix solutions is right up Ralph’s alley.

I was suspicious of where Ralph was going when he implied they checked his blood work? vital stats? he wasn’t clear and wanted him to sign in immediately. (Which sounds like a scam). I’m not sure what tests a place would run on a guy walking in the door inquiring about their services. I can’t imagine any of them needed Ralph to sign in the dotted line NOW!!! “Oh, senor, your enzyme levels are muy mal, your life depend on us having your CC right now. “ If any of his basic vitals were that concerning he would be sent to the hospital.

It all smelled of closing a sale. My bet is Ralph is at one of the holistic scam places, and I’d bet he’d be esp interested in the ones that offer psychedelics as a quick fix to all your problems, but esp addiction. Ibogaine and Ayahuasca would be right up his alley and he’s always liked the idea of drugs to help him quit other drugs.

i used to work at a rehab and might be able to shed some light on the intake work. many facilities like this require a tuberculosis test to be done prior to admittance, along with a handful of other things that they might potentially screen for. that being said, a TB test isn't a blood draw process and it takes 1-2 days in order to get results so i'm genuinely uncertain as to what exactly they were drawing blood for.

as far as him being "forced", or however you want to word it, into signing on the line NOW, that could be as simple as the facility having a bed open for him now that they can't promise him will be available later on.

additionally, assuming he was honest and said he takes benzos and alcohol, his "case" would have some additional precautions if only for a legal standpoint. but those are the only two substances that there is an actual risk of death from detoxing from. opiates aren't life threatening, nor amphetamines or literally anything else. those two substances are molecularly almost identical and have to be treated with caution. at the place i worked at, we weren't a licensed medical facility, more of a non medical focused system. so when i worked intake, i actually had to refer people to a medical detox place before taking them in to our place due to the health risk. anyone else, with any other addictions, i was more than comfortable taking them in at any time or in any state of mind because i know they'll be medically safe no matter how hellish their upcoming detox may or may not be.

all that being said and with all we know about ralph, i highly doubt he went to a shaman-based facility with ayahuasca or anything like that. IF he went anywhere at all, and that's a huge IF, he would pick a place that looked the most comfortable and manipulatable. he'd pick a place where he has agency to leave whenever he wants, which would be anywhere, technically. no rehab is going to hold you against your will...we couldn't even force the ones with warrants to stay if they wanted to leave, we'd have to just call the local PD and inform them. another selling point for ralph that he mentioned several times in order to preemptively lay the groundwork for an early return, would be a facility that offers variable lengths of stays/programs. he'll manipulate his way into the shortest path to victory, learning nothing but behavior modification to deceive his "therapist" or doctor or whoever is in charge of his case. he'll then get out and declare his victory and reveal how amazed the mexicano people were of his stories and his drug consuming capabilities; claiming he has the facilities full endorsement that he is healed early because he put in such a hard effort and is so much of a changed and reformed man that it's physically visible on his now radiant glow.

like i said before though, with all i learned as intake of the facility i worked at, what likely happened is this: his piggies sent X-amount of money, lets assume he raised the full 900 bucks...he takes that 900, says hes going to rehab, never does and instead rents a hotel and binges until the money is gone and comes graveling back with a whole performance and story of some wild reason why he HAD to go on the binge if you wanna know the truth about it, bish.

either way, he's not gonna learn shit and i really don't care because i just want him to go live and be the dirtiest ape in the fuckin ZOO!

 

[GaryGray]

@AltisticRight Until Ralph comes back to Twitter this thread should be renamed "Kiwis Anonymous - a temporary place to discuss rehab, sobriety, and all things for clean living."

 

[AltisticRight]

@AltisticRight Until Ralph comes back to Twitter this thread should be renamed "Kiwis Anonymous - a temporary place to discuss rehab, sobriety, and all things for clean living."

Seriously each time a cow talks about being sober or going to rehabilitation, a bunch of us comes out and powerlevel our own gay little stories.
*Checks notes*
>User AltisticRight spoke about their university insomnia and refusing to take meds.
Well, shit.

 

[LiveFromNS]

OMG; I love that people have hope, I really do, but all of this “Ethan could possibly…” if he gets clean overlooks the harsh reality that seems that people have forgotten.

In a similar vein, why suddenly do people believe that he is even going to rehab? Because he said so? The guy who has a confirmed track record of lies and falsehoods and regularly bends the truth? Why do so many people now take him at his word? I see new members post that they have info or are a certain person and immediately the posts begin, "prove it", "contact a mod to verify" etc. But now the pig says he is going to rehab, without any solid proof provided other than his unreliable words, and the discussion is about how he will do, how long will he stay, where is he going.

Maybe I missed him posting proof such as an intake form or something else, if so, please direct me to any proof he provided other than from his fat mouth.

 

[OrionBalls]

In a similar vein, why suddenly do people believe that he is even going to rehab? Because he said so? The guy who has a confirmed track record of lies and falsehoods and regularly bends the truth? Why do so many people now take him at his word? I see new members post that they have info or are a certain person and immediately the posts begin, "prove it", "contact a mod to verify" etc. But now the pig says he is going to rehab, without any solid proof provided other than his unreliable words, and the discussion is about how he will do, how long will he stay, where is he going.

Maybe I missed him posting proof such as an intake form or something else, if so, please direct me to any proof he provided other than from his fat mouth.

Because hope springs eternal, down here on the Farms. Everyone has met an addict and while it can be funny to laugh at the ones we don't personally know when they do patently stupid shit and post it for the world to see, it's also sad to watch self inflicted destruction.

 

[Mahavitchnu Orchestra]

This is horrible. Just because you're on Kiwi Farms, you have to be Billy Badasses and make fun of addicts? Come on.

Spoiler: This is my story, Ethan, I hope it helps you.

lol jk cup my balls while you blow me, lying nine titted faggot.

 

[LiveFromNS]

Because hope springs eternal, down here on the Farms. Everyone has met an addict and while it can be funny to laugh at the ones we don't personally know when they do patently stupid shit and post it for the world to see, it's also sad to watch self inflicted destruction.

Good point, well said and true.

However does someone who has done heinous and disgusting things to many people, as Ralph has done, deserve any kind of sympathy? He has a long list of deplorable actions, and not all can be attributed to him doing what he did because he was high, drunk etc.

 

[OrionBalls]

Good point, well said and true.

However does someone who has done heinous and disgusting things to many people, as Ralph has done, deserve any kind of sympathy? He has a long list of deplorable actions, and not all can be attributed to him doing what he did because he was high, drunk etc.

None of us deserves grace. But God still grants it to us. I try to live similarly, even though I fail, a lot.

 

[lester]

You guys saw his behavior on Jesse's show the other day. No remorse, contrition or belief he's really down the wrong path about anything. He acts like he hasn't a problem or care at all. Just his typical smug, smirking, overdramatic annoying act.

Doesn't he have a hearing like in April or something to resolve the Pantsu/Rozy situation. It would really grind ol' Harry's gears if this fuck could prove to some sucker judge he's worthy of visitation by his completion of some fake-ass rehab.
And it falls right in line with why he even lives and breathes at this point...Spite.