🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋]

His hair reminded me of Fallout so here's a scribble of a man with strange anatomy
View attachment 2758768

(I guess these should be moved to the gunt media thread?)

 

[Zilch]

Didn't he spend a lot of time talking about how great Faith was because she was younger than the girlfriend he'd had between Nora and Faith (Adrienne? My timeline isn't perfectly clear). And then that girlfriend said he talked on and on about Nora.

He's not capable of just being happy with a woman. He can experience happiness only through expressing anger at previous exes. It's very weird and it's very weird that Pantsu is fine with it. Most people wouldn't want their fiance going on and on about an ex.

Ralph isn't capable of being happy period. He hates himself and I'd imagine he takes it out on everyone around him.

Neigh doesn't love him lol
Idk what her angle is; e-fame, a place to stay, desperation, revenge on her ex, or she's just batshit insane.
There's literally no reason anyone would choose to be with gunt so it's hard to imagine what Neigh's rationale is.
But it ain't love. That's for sure

 

[SargonF00t]

Ralph isn't capable of being happy period. He hates himself and I'd imagine he takes it out on everyone around him.

Neigh doesn't love him lol
Idk what her angle is; e-fame, a place to stay, desperation, revenge on her ex, or she's just batshit insane.
There's literally no reason anyone would choose to be with gunt so it's hard to imagine what Neigh's rationale is.
But it ain't love. That's for sure

No man can be happy with himself when he only has a 3" dick.

That is why Ralph is doomed and cannot be helped.

 

[MeltyTW]

It was supposed to be 4'10'', someone shopped it.

Those dirty a-logs, probably Jersh's fault.

Spoiler

notice wheres ralphs says federal limits apply? that means he was too cheap to spring for real id. its ten dollars rn. he might not need a real id but its amusing nonetheless that he would show it off knowing alogs would point that out that he doesnt have memphis tiiiin bucks to burn,

also iss dup means that its a duplicate license, which means he might have lost it for a number of reasons, notice it was issued the third month of this year so the address change from leaving his mom to die happened well before this so he couldnt have lost his license for that, one reason you need to replace a license is if its suspended.

also notice he blacked out the expiration date, now why would he do that? its almost always 8 birthdays after youre issued.

"In determining the number of years for which a driver's license shall be renewed, the Commissioner shall take into consideration the examinations, conditions, requirements, and other criteria provided under this title that relate to the issuance of a license to operate a vehicle. Any driver's license issued to a person required to register pursuant to Chapter 9 (§ 9.1-900 et seq.) of Title 9.1 shall expire on the applicant's birthday in years which the applicant attains an age equally divisible by five."

Title 46.2. Motor Vehicles

law.lis.virginia.gov

Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles

Welcome to the official site of the Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles, with quick access to driver and vehicle online transactions and information.

www.dmv.virginia.gov

the only other exception for different expiration dates is being over 75 hmmm so what is title 9.1?

§ 9.1-900. Purpose of the Sex Offender and Crimes Against Minors Registry

law.lis.virginia.gov

thats right folks the state of virginia might legally recognize gunt as some sort of sick child predator, but wait, i do have some defense of ralph, i actually did find a sample license with that gap so you might have shown yourself to possibly be a creep but at least you might not have yet another piece of proof youre short lol

edit of course ralph could just be a retard who blacked it out in some weird attempt to shield his privacy despite giving the rest of the info needed to calculate a normal expiration date.

 

[Mr E. Grifter]

What did we learn?
- Ralph is the abuse victim of a teenager half his age which he impregnated and released revenge pornogrpahy of
- Words and tweets are bats and they hurt
- Unfollowing on social media is the same as being a snake
- Posts his own licence online with self-declared height, gets laughed at and then threatens to sue someone for trolling him

Ralph is basically a feminist, circa 2014.

You're forgetting:
- Posting your own official government documents online when you have a huge hate following is always asking for trouble.

Ralph is such a fat retard, people fuck with him constantly yet he can't see past his little piggy nose to consider what consequences his actions will have. I mean, fucking hell just stop posting private details and documents? Is it so hard? (Or don't, I think it's funny).

Asking why he wonders why this is happening now while ignoring the fact it happened after he gave people access to the means to do it... Wew lad.

"But damn you're fine as fuck"
May must be the most pathetic woman in existence, to the point where Ralph can freely post his sexting attempts and compliments to random e-whores and she'll think nothing of it.
I wonder what he gets up to completely in private.

May and her family must be completely fucking pathetic. Ralph posted a while back "I fuck a fine bitch" in reference to May, who is allegedly going to be the mother of his second child. Just utterly disgusting, the fact May just allows that shows she's a broken mess, lacking any and all self-esteem and settling for quite literally the lowest of the low in terms of male attention.

Allowing your daughter to bring back a man who talks about her like that in public is just cuckoldry. The sort of cuckoldry Ralph will never experience because his heart will give out before his kids hit 18.

 

[DewsLit]

Jesus Christ, Adam. At least shave before you two go out.

View attachment 2755435

Behold, a bearded horse! And the cries of abused children followed it.

 

[4str4staleatherbelt]

In another reality where things worked out Ralph would be spending Thanksgiving with the Vickers clan happy with his new son and extended family after the deaths of both his parents in a year. Mr. Vickers accepts him as his son and Ralph breaks down in tears and pig squeals,"I always wanted a dad!"

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

In another reality where things worked out Ralph would be spending Thanksgiving with the Vickers clan happy with his new son and extended family after the deaths of both his parents in a year. Mr. Vickers accepts him as his son and Ralph breaks down in tears and pig squeals,"I always wanted a dad!"

Ralph's ego prevents any situation like this from ever occurring. His pride creates too much of a circus to allow himself to humble himself and come to terms with his failures and think about anyone other than himself.

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

May and her family must be completely fucking pathetic.

I'm sure it's been said before but can you imagine how much it would suck to be Harry Morris? Your daughter is massively autistic and you send her off to college hoping she's at least the smart kind but plop, that baby bird lands right back in the nest, still flightless and shrieking for tendies. She vegetates for a year in a room increasingly filling with pastel colored weebshit and just as you're coming to terms with the rest of your life spent caring for your retarded offspring, a miracle! She gets a boyfriend. She moves out of your house to live with her boyfriend. She gets engaged to her boyfriend! The nightmare is over, sure it's not everything you hoped but she has a normal life ahead of her.

At some point however, you meet Digi, which could be one of several flavours of horror depending on when it happens. Was he in his eternally unwashed arc or his troon arc? In any case, your vision of a stable if mediocre future for May crashes down in that instant and shortly thereafter you have to come collect her stuff from the Digishack. Every figurine and poster placed in your car sounds like the thud of a brick being cemented into your tomb. She's back again and you've taken care of her for 20 years, you can manage the rest. It's fine. It's fine.

You should know better than to hope, months later when she finds a new boyfriend. "Oh he's an entertainer? The best in his sektur you say? That's nice sweetie. Is this one gay? Are you sure? Well you know you always have a place here if it doesn't work out." Still you can't help it. You're only human. Where once a fire burned brightly in your breast for the good life your daughter might lead, now smolders the ember of that vision of mediocrity you saw last year. Maybe she'll be alright. A year flies by and she's pregnant, so the dude can't be that gay. He's coming over for thanksgiving. You come face to face with the deformed countenance of Ethan Ralph. Your landline voicemail is inundated with 6 million clips of him screaming "NOT THE OVEN DOOOOOOOR".

You resolve not to convert that old bedroom into an office. It doesn't hurt so much this time. It was only a fool's hope.

It's fine.

 

[ANiggaNamedElmo]

I'm sure it's been said before but can you imagine how much it would suck to be Harry Morris? Your daughter is massively autistic and you send her off to college hoping she's at least the smart kind but plop, that baby bird lands right back in the nest, still flightless and shrieking for tendies. She vegetates for a year in a room increasingly filling with pastel colored weebshit and just as you're coming to terms with the rest of your life spent caring for your retarded offspring, a miracle! She gets a boyfriend. She moves out of your house to live with her boyfriend. She gets engaged to her boyfriend! The nightmare is over, sure it's not everything you hoped but she has a normal life ahead of her.

At some point however, you meet Digi, which could be one of several flavours of horror depending on when it happens. Was he in his eternally unwashed arc or his troon arc? In any case, your vision of a stable if mediocre future for May crashes down in that instant and shortly thereafter you have to come collect her stuff from the Digishack. Every figurine and poster placed in your car sounds like the thud of a brick being cemented into your tomb. She's back again and you've taken care of her for 20 years, you can manage the rest. It's fine. It's fine.

You should know better than to hope, months later when she finds a new boyfriend. "Oh he's an entertainer? The best in his sektur you say? That's nice sweetie. Is this one gay? Are you sure? Well you know you always have a place here if it doesn't work out." Still you can't help it. You're only human. Where once a fire burned brightly in your breast for the good life your daughter might lead, now smolders the ember of that vision of mediocrity you saw last year. Maybe she'll be alright. A year flies by and she's pregnant, so the dude can't be that gay. He's coming over for thanksgiving. You come face to face with the deformed countenance of Ethan Ralph. Your landline voicemail is inundated with 6 million clips of him screaming "NOT THE OVEN DOOOOOOOR".

You resolve not to convert that old bedroom into an office. It doesn't hurt so much this time. It was only a fool's hope.

It's fine.

Nigger are you a poet or something? There is no sympathy for May. I know it's tongue in cheek and ironic but this was always a bet on the wrong horse.

 

[Arcturus]

I'm on the fence about whether or not Ralph fabricated this findom story. Leaning toward him making it all up though. Just throwing this out there, but remember that Ralph has Peyton scout TikTok and other places for e-thots for the show. Whores being paid to make shit up and keep secrets is the foundation of their job.

 

[Opticana]

He is as terminally online and self-destructive as your average troon.

Could Ralph eventually become the gf when he can't find any more eighteen years olds?

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I'm on the fence about whether or not Ralph fabricated this findom story. Leaning toward him making it all up though. Just throwing this out there, but remember that Ralph has Peyton scout TikTok and other places for e-thots for the show. Whores being paid to make shit up and keep secrets is the foundation of their job.

Of course he did. Wtf does Ralph have to talk about on his boring ass show this week? He was desperate for something interesting. It can also dilute all the totally true shit you hear about Ralph (revenge porn, teen groomer, dead beat dad, etc..) as just all that crazy scheming from his haters. Just look what they tried to get this e-thot to do!

Ralph’s “you’re fine as fuck” “I’m a medium celebrity” and then the e-thots “just checking out your show now” and then instantly ready to go on it, is just some Ralph level caveman script. It probably killed him that he couldn’t make her a big KS fan from the start.

Nobody, not even a greedy e-thot, would google the KS and immediately be ready to go on it. Even the dumbest whore on earth would be hesitant to instantly associate herself with a political train-wreck banned from multiple platforms.

Imagine how shitty Ralph’s week for his show must be if he’s instantly ready to spotlight dang dirty trolling attempt gay ops with an e-thot. Maybe Ralph is finally realized most of his viewing value is that he lives his life like a Jerry Springer guest and is going to fully embrace it. He can make Pantsu take a paternity test on the show next week.

 

[Farglemark]

Not only begged, he suicide baited her.

Haters to the left of me, Aylogs to the right! Here I am stuck in the middle with Byuu!

 

[ddlloo]

"But damn you're fine as fuck"
May must be the most pathetic woman in existence, to the point where Ralph can freely post his sexting attempts and compliments to random e-whores and she'll think nothing of it.
I wonder what he gets up to completely in private.

My first thought was that this is the stupidest gay op ever. All it does is make content for Ralph, and honestly if he gets that based (and I assume tradcath AS FUCK) findom mistress onto his show then kudos to him.

What you pointed out was my second thought. Isn't he LITERALLY staying at May's parents place right now? With his fiance? Who is pregnant with his child? It's just gross. I genuinely don't understand how any of his mongoloid fans can claim Ralph is tradcath. He's a fucking pig of a man on every front.

 

[Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋]

My first thought was that this is the stupidest gay op ever. All it does is make content for Ralph, and honestly if he gets that based (and I assume tradcath AS FUCK) findom mistress onto his show then kudos to him.

What you pointed out was my second thought. Isn't he LITERALLY staying at May's parents place right now? With his fiance? Who is pregnant with his child? It's just gross. I genuinely don't understand how any of his mongoloid fans can claim Ralph is tradcath. He's a fucking pig of a man on every front.

She's definitely not going to be that though.
These femdom chicks are fucked in the head and are using that "career" path as a means to strike back at all human males, and to try and gain back a semblance of control by being the dominant aggressor, even though it's more than likely only their fathers that have ever hurt them deeply.
She's also more than likely a radical feminist, and I truly hope Ralph brings her on, since she's not going to take kindly to the whole unironic misogynistic manosphere he's got going on.
Even better if Rand barges into the call to confront her about her degenerate ways and everything escalates, of course.

 

[veri]

Even better if Rand barges into the call to confront her about her degenerate ways and everything escalates, of course.

that’d actually be good and entertaining content that isn’t ralph dolphin laughing over tucker clips in between segments of dead air

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

My first thought was that this is the stupidest gay op ever. All it does is make content for Ralph, and honestly if he gets that based (and I assume tradcath AS FUCK) findom mistress onto his show then kudos to him.

What you pointed out was my second thought. Isn't he LITERALLY staying at May's parents place right now? With his fiance? Who is pregnant with his child? It's just gross. I genuinely don't understand how any of his mongoloid fans can claim Ralph is tradcath. He's a fucking pig of a man on every front.

I’ve wondered why Ralph didn’t at least try to RP something a tiny bit believable. If you’re going to have a pregnant teen girlfriend and then try to get a horse woman to join the relationship why not just go with FLDS (fundamentalist poly Mormon). There is at least some precedent there that could give cover to his degeneracy.

Trying to claim tradcath should really offend legit tradcaths because he’s making a total mockery of all the traditions they claim to uphold and cherish. Ralph and Pantsu couldn’t even be married in a Catholic Church ffs.

She's definitely not going to be that though.
These femdom chicks are fucked in the head and are using that "career" path as a means to strike back at all human males, and to try and gain back a semblance of control by being the dominant aggressor, even though it's more than likely only their fathers that have ever hurt them deeply.
She's also more than likely a radical feminist, and I truly hope Ralph brings her on, since she's not going to take kindly to the whole unironic misogynistic manosphere he's got going on.
Even better if Rand barges into the call to confront her about her degenerate ways and everything escalates, of course.

Findom is 99.99% a internet myth, it doesn’t actually exist outside the fantasies of crazy sluts and angry incels.

 

[Jack Awful]

Ralph posting his ID to verify his height and then having people use that photo to impersonate him and sign him up for embarrassing shit is funny.

 

[Near]

Well he's back in gay baby jail

Edit: Already gone.

I say it's very relevant.