🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Cringestorian X]

a short update from @theralph

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Good job you fat gunt, this statement has made your shitty little mexican knife illegal as Minnesota Law makes it illegal to carry knives for self-defense, also it's a felony to even walk into the courthouse with it even if you don't make it to security.

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IT WUZ A WERK YEW AYLAWGS

 

[Golden Boy]

He really can't help himself, he has to write down every profane thought that enters his stupid fat head.

The drugs have made so much mush out of his brain he can't even bring the one document he needs to travel internationally.
I don't really know when the point of no return happened, but he's well passed it. Even if he stops now he will never return to a functioning person. I believe him when he says he's not on drugs at the airpoirt just because his brain functions this slow normally.

 

[Near]

Ralph's gonna get a wedgie and be on the ground again. Haha no knife or brass knuckles

 

[MilkSports_2018]

Can ashtonne and tardski please travel to Minnesota, make a sektur reunion.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

BREAKING

Ethan Oliver Ralph, convicted sex offender and editor in chief of his personal e-diary now plans to attend the Rekieta hearing unarmed.

Stay tuned for exciting updates on the next travel snafu that would've been entirely predictable to an adult that is not cognitively impaired!​

 

[FiveStarAce]

I petition to dip into the Kiwi fund to pay a bully squad.

 

[Exit fullscreen button]

I petition to dip into the Kiwi fund to pay a bully squad.

no need, ralph bullies himself in his misguided attempts to own the gaylawgs

 

[Ethan Ralph Is 5'1"]

a short update from @theralph
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IT WUZ A WERK YEW AYLAWGS

 

[bar soap]

Wow Ralph's brain is completely fucking fried and looks like he's pushing 60.... Can we have a poll to guess when he's gonna die? I feel it coming soon and want bragging rights if I guess right

 

[Rage Pig]

Made by @mryellow62 on X

 

[Asian tech support]

One has to wonder how the Kandiyohi County justice system feels about a felon traveling thousands of miles to harass court goers and photograph their vehicles. They should be aware that the individual in question is hard to spot, passing under the field of most at only 5'1".

 

[Drama Trauma]

a short update from @theralph
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IT WUZ A WERK YEW AYLAWGS

When did "giving wedgie" become a serious life threat? Is it in the same weight as "to knife someone"? And now he wants to sell it as a trolling attempt.

 

[Die For Me!]

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Ralph trying to get free accommodations from his enemies due to his IBS is quite a site to behold.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

It’s funny seeing Ralph do all this traveling to nose guard he said all this about ;

https://youtu.be/bZLuGcsBXRA

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Guys this is serious. Ralph has made it to Tijuana. Despite our best efforts to shut down the airports and close the borders, he's made the first leg of his trip.

I'm on the phone with California dept of homeland security and they're setting up a perimeter to try to stop him.

I'll alert FBI resources in the Minnesota branch office as well just in case, god help us, he makes it to Minnesota.

I think we all know one thing is clear: he simply can not make it into the court room. If he is able to physically sit in that courtroom and listen in on the hearing, it's over for all of us.

 

[3-2-1836]

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IT WUZ A WERK YEW AYLAWGS

I fly every week with a pistol, and I'm about to fly with one today, it's called a checked bag, unless you're admitting you're too fucking broke to even afford to check your bag.

 

[Lidl Drip]

He really can't help himself, he has to write down every profane thought that enters his stupid fat head.
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Why didn't he go to the next embassy as soon as he lost his passport to request a replacement? Someone said he doesn't have a driver's license but does he have no other form of ID? No birth certificate? Can he not afford a replacement?

I'm gonna assume that Ralph, who has lived with his mommy for 37 years can not handle adult responsibilities like that on his own.

 

[30+GameOvers]

a short update from @theralph
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IT WUZ A WERK YEW AYLAWGS

Not pictured: His tampon he put in his bleeding vagina. Men don't make videos like that, women do.
Ralph is a bitch-made fat loser who behaves like a woman. I can only imagine how ashamed his kids will be to see him behaving like this when they're all grown up.
Oh wait, they won't remember him because he's not their father, he's just their sperm donor. Phew, dodged a bullet there!

 

[Exit fullscreen button]

physically sit in that courtroom and listen in on the hearing

That's the thing, tho. he's so fucking felted in anno domini 2024 that all he's gonna do is sit his fat ass on a courtroom chair and eyeball people he thinks might be kiwifags. That's it.
He's not gonna take notes; his hooves don't allow that, and even if they did, I doubt still knows how to handwrite.
He's not going to do a summary of the whole hearing on xitter because his brain is absolutely busted from his decade-old alcohol and drug abuse, and he will not be able to remember anything.
The only way that his presence there will amount to anything is if he secretly records the hearing. But let's be honst, current year ralph lacks the balls to do that. Pantsu's flight completely emasculated him and whatever semblance of gumption (not to be confused with GUNTion) he might have had has left him years ago. Ralph is too much of a bitch made pussy to do anything relevant now.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Fat baby can't handle the atomic wedgie, so we would have pants him instead.