🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[I'mma real anime gurl]

Honestly I want Effy or Kidd Bandit to wrestle in Ralphamania.

 

[FiveStarAce]

Ralph shuffling around with a selfy stick while playing with his dick and screaming "RALPHAMANIA TOO SUUUEEEE" sounds kinda Kino.

I am just so, so sorry for his keeds, like, damn.

 

[There She Glows]

I honestly feel a weird kinda anxiousness thinking about his kids reading about him. It’s weird reading about your family.

It's really grim thinking about Rozy finding out what her father thinks of women. Like sure a lot of people eventually figure out that their absent parent was a piece of shit but the volume of publically accessible archived video and text of Ralph describing how women are worthless whores could fill a full length documentary.

 

[Bill Evans 45]

Did he ever sort his passport out or can he enter Colombia with his Mexican travel card?
Just waiting for all the wrestlers to break an arm/leg two days before the event thus leading to cancellation Dax style.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

It's really grim thinking about Rozy finding out what her father thinks of women. Like sure a lot of people eventually figure out that their absent parent was a piece of shit but the volume of publically accessible archived video and text of Ralph describing how women are worthless whores could fill a full length documentary.

Actually I think it might make her more troubled about her mother than Gunt. Ralph is pretty generic misogynist. He hates himself and most women agree with his assessment, which enrages him.

I guess Pantsu can just show Rozy the endless groveling and begging for her to come back (plus all the suicide baiting) to help her understand the sad creature that is Ralph, but the bigger wtf would why mom had anything to do with him.

Did he ever sort his passport out or can he enter Colombia with his Mexican travel card?
Just waiting for all the wrestlers to break an arm/leg two days before the event thus leading to cancellation Dax style.

He got a special purple retard passport that’s valid for one year. It’s what they issue to retards like Ralph that lose them and can’t be trusted to possess one like a normal adult

 

[HackerX]

Actually I think it might make her more troubled about her mother than Gunt. Ralph is pretty generic misogynist. He hates himself and most women agree with his assessment, which enrages him.

I guess Pantsu can just show Rozy the endless groveling and begging for her to come back (plus all the suicide baiting) to help her understand the sad creature that is Ralph, but the bigger wtf would why mom had anything to do with him.

Assuming Ralph isn't pursuing any custody or parental rights, the best course of action is lying to the child. Pantsu could say it was a one-night stand and could never get into contact with her daddeh. The Morris family secret could be a true n' honest opportunity though I guess it'd require lying to an innocent child and all that.

Ofc, Ralph can't help but ruin other people's lives, so I imagine he'll fight for parental rights in court for the sake of his fragile ego. It's not like it's feasible for Ralph to visit New York or pay any child support whatsoever, but by God, Cozy.tv Rozy will know her father. A drunken pill addict holed up in a Mexican shack and an affinity for literal assholes, instead of a random dude that hit it and quit it.

 

[Truly Rural]

Ralph thinks that since he is a horny man, there are more horny men in his audience like in the ancient times of the KillStream. He is trying to appeal to them. But in reality he is the only one. Okay, maybe there are like 3 more left in his audience, but majority is long gone. Appealing to horny men is a job for prostitutes. Ralph is worse than a ho.

 

[Die For Me!]

It's that time again! Ethan Ralph has not made a tweet in over 24 hours.

I believe this weekend he was supposed to go see Faiths son, meaning Ralph is already due for his minimum 1 near death experience per trip to California.
Did Ralph...

• Miss his flight
• Lose his phone
• Have a heart attack while gooning to Hunter Moores trafficking victims
• jseizure up and passed away in a puddle of shattered piss bottles
• get lynched by the Nazis
• Receive a bullet to the head attempting to short change some poz loaded prostitutes

You Just Never Know What Will Happen Next on the Killstream...

 

[Oliver Onions]

He'll fold under the pressure and get too drunk/pilled out to put on a good show, should be hilarious.

Amusing myself greatly picturing Ralph passed out flat on his back in the middle of an oil-soaked kiddy pool while two disinterested prostitutes sit at either side idly counting their handfuls of grubby bills.

It's really grim thinking about Rozy finding out what her father thinks of women.

It's really optimistic to believe Rozy is going to know who her dad is. Ralph will probably be dead by the time she's capable of forming memories so Meigh and Harry can make up any old shit to throw her off the trail.

 

[Rage Pig]

It's that time again! Ethan Ralph has not made a tweet in over 24 hours.
View attachment 7280676
I believe this weekend he was supposed to go see Faiths son, meaning Ralph is already due for his minimum 1 near death experience per trip to California.
Did Ralph...

• Miss his flight
• Lose his phone
• Have a heart attack while gooning to Hunter Moores trafficking victims
• jseizure up and passed away in a puddle of shattered piss bottles
• get lynched by the Nazis
• Receive a bullet to the head attempting to short change some poz loaded prostitutes

You Just Never Know What Will Happen Next on the Killstream...

Yuge if true.

Context: Friday Killstream canceled without explanation.

 

[Mynameisdark]

Ralph said he wasn't going to see Xander at all in April, because of scheduling with Hackamania. I'm not even sure if he's still going to that event. In his last tweet photo despite wearing giant sunglasses he was visibly fucked up. If he's not dead he could be held up in a Mexican drunk tank.

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Adolwulf is an extremely dedicated paypig. I don't think a single Keelstream absence is necessarily an indication of anything.

Plus Ralph crashing into slumber despite having engagements is extremely common on account of him being a drunken pillhead.

Assuming this Medellin trip isn't just some non-committal fantasy, he'll need to make sure he's nice and fresh to try and arrive at an airport on time and negotiate his way onto a plane with his retard passport.

 

[porkWellington]

Ralph said he wasn't going to see Xander at all in April, because of scheduling with Hackamania. I'm not even sure if he's still going to that event. In his last tweet photo despite wearing giant sunglasses he was visibly fucked up. If he's not dead he could be held up in a Mexican drunk tank.

"I lub Xander and he loves me more than his mother but imma go do something else sorry bud"

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Yuge if true.

This seems to make sense as part of his emotional abusive nature. Wonder what sad excuse he’s going to be posting next

 

[Individualism Incarnate]

Are we gonna have a Ralph plus ELN (Ejército de Liberación Nacional) crossover? I've heard they still do kidnapping for profit over there. Wouldn't it be funny for some Colombian nigger socialist gerrilla group to kidnap him just for them to find out he has no money or people that care for him and they just fucking smoke that gringo into porkchops. this nigga gonna get organ harvested!

Would be funnier if the FBI negotiated for his release only to then leave him stranded in the US

 

[There She Glows]

It's really optimistic to believe Rozy is going to know who her dad is. Ralph will probably be dead by the time she's capable of forming memories so Meigh and Harry can make up any old shit to throw her off the trail.

He's on her birth certificate.

 

[Some Fucking Retard]

He's on her birth certificate.

God help that kid when she googles his name. Imagine finding out the pigboy who gave up the country his daddy gave him is your biodad. Kid might find the rope her daddy should have used.

 

[Drunkensailor]

It's that time again! Ethan Ralph has not made a tweet in over 24 hours.
View attachment 7280676
I believe this weekend he was supposed to go see Faiths son, meaning Ralph is already due for his minimum 1 near death experience per trip to California.
Did Ralph...

• Miss his flight
• Lose his phone
• Have a heart attack while gooning to Hunter Moores trafficking victims
• jseizure up and passed away in a puddle of shattered piss bottles
• get lynched by the Nazis
• Receive a bullet to the head attempting to short change some poz loaded prostitutes

You Just Never Know What Will Happen Next on the Killstream...

Closing in on 32hrs of Ethan not updating us on the mundane minutiae of his travels.
I am going with the tried and true "lost muh phone" explanation. This time on the plane, as he was too pilled out to realize he only had one of the two phones he travels with and his back-up is logged into jdanks420.

Edit: spelling

 

[There She Glows]

I have in my calendar that April 26th is "Guntmas Day".

I remember getting the notification for this last year too, and also being confused about what I meant by this.

Does anyone know what I meant by this? Is it the anniversary of something?

Today is the anniversary of the day the horse fled the stable.

I forgot that he had blue hair at the time

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Bojack landmarks

God, this fucking faggot.