🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

Everyone who gives a shit about how Colombia/Columbia is spelled needs to kill themselves in spectacular fashion.

 

[Um...]

Ralph's said he was given a VIP ticket from Melton some months back

Oh, ‘Ralph said’ so it must be true? lol.

Ralph is probably the biggest get for that event.

Lol again. He’s a washed-up nobody. Ethan Ralph ‘decided not to go’ to Hackamania weeks ago because he’s too broke and can’t afford to go.

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Everyone who gives a shit about how Colombia/Columbia is spelled needs to kill themselves in spectacular fashion.

Spelling is fundamental bish.

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

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I survived getting diamatered by a troon, bish. Now I'm back in my Mexican crack shack with all the knockoff Xannies I can gobble up. You wish you could live this good.

 

[AltisticRight]

A man edging 40 finds it challenging to travel back home.
Stunning, really.
The sad state of piggytits.

Not just one bus, buddy. *Six* buses.

R/fuckcars will be proud.

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Only Ethan Ralph can make a trip home sound like he was lost in the Sahara.
Pathetic.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Lol again. He’s a washed-up nobody.

Unlike Nick Rekieta, Dick Masterson or Melton, whose careers are only soaring upwards right?

 

[Punished Larson]

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

Don't worry Ralph, I think we can all guess the abridged version of the story.

 

[Gator_Aids]

This explains a great deal. As has been discussed many times before, it’s extremely likely Ralph has been playing games with his money in regards to his banking and Mexican residency. It’s quite possible he has no ability to directly access banking or hard cash easily without using electronic means. If his phone was lost / stolen / traded away, he may have fucked himself out of financial services while being half a country away from Merida.

Gunty may have had a drunken mishap and stranded himself in Tijuana and had to bus his way home broke and desperate.

 

[Rage Pig]

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Translation: I'm a broke ass nigga who made $136,50 in the last two weeks. Now I'll have to stream every day for 10 hours and pray that Adowulf hasn't left me or I won't be able to pay for the visit to my son. The reason I'm not able to stream is so embarrassing that I need a few more days to invent a fantastic story for the few retards who watch my show.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

View attachment 7335853
This explains a great deal. As has been discussed many times before, it’s extremely likely Ralph has been playing games with his money in regards to his banking and Mexican residency. It’s quite possible he has no ability to directly access banking or hard cash easily without using electronic means. If his phone was lost / stolen / traded away, he may have fucked himself out of financial services while being half a country away from Merida.

Gunty may have had a drunken mishap and stranded himself in Tijuana and had to bus his way home broke and desperate.

lol he's scared of google so doesn't want to yell at them from his main account

 

[HackerX]

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2 weeks straight??? LOL. Let's try 1 day straight before he gets ahead of himself. I really want to understand the inner machinations of his loyal paypiggies and how they believe this. Especially after the last two weeks alone.

View attachment 7335853
This explains a great deal. As has been discussed many times before, it’s extremely likely Ralph has been playing games with his money in regards to his banking and Mexican residency. It’s quite possible he has no ability to directly access banking or hard cash easily without using electronic means. If his phone was lost / stolen / traded away, he may have fucked himself out of financial services while being half a country away from Merida.

Gunty may have had a drunken mishap and stranded himself in Tijuana and had to bus his way home broke and desperate.

LOL. Why does he feel the need to post this on his second account? Much less, why does he even bother with a second account? Ethan Ralph is the KEELSTREAM and the KEELSTREAM is Ethan Ralph. It's a big part of why Ralph's life is a mess in the first place.

Potential solutions for his issue:
- Try not losing a phone whenever you leave the house.

- Set up 2FA in a manner that doesn't rely on shit you lose in the reg.

It's that easy. Why the hell does he have 2 phones anyway? There's no scenario where he would. He's got no one to hide anything from and it's not like he needs a business line. You'd assume it's a drug phone, but that hits back at who cares enough about Ralph for the need to be there? Police? I doubt Ralph having a burner phone would make much of a difference. He's not exactly a smooth operator.

 

[Um...]

Unlike Nick Rekieta, Dick Masterson or Melton, whose careers are only soaring upwards right?

At least they can afford a trip to Vegas without it turning into a multi-day fiasco.

 

[Truly Rural]

No streams, no photos, he must look worse than after first Portugal trip.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Translation: I'm a broke ass nigga who made $136,50 in the last two weeks. Now I'll have to stream every day for 10 hours and pray that Adowulf hasn't left me or I won't be able to pay for the visit to my son. The reason I'm not able to stream is so embarrassing that I need a few more days to invent a fantastic story for the few retards who watch my show.

Ralph thinks getting so retard drunk alone that he’s easily robbed or loses his wallet is awesome content!

Ralph doesn’t understand that most people that decide to get stupid drunk do it among friends who will ensure they don’t get robbed and left stranded or passed out somewhere. Ralph has no friends, so all he’s got is being a drunk retard all by his lonesome and that’s why every trip he takes is a disaster.

Ralph thinks not being able to handle his booze in public, plus having no friends, equals “crazy adventure” when it’s really just sad and the typical back story to 75% of men in homeless shelters.

His attempts at interacting with the public once he’s tied a few on result in him begging ppl online for bus fare, lost phones, lost passports, stolen purses and orbital bone fractures. Riveting book material for “Drunk and Stupid: The Ethan Ralph Story”

 

[HackerX]

lol he's scared of google so doesn't want to yell at them from his main account

Jesus Christ. You're right. It's the only answer that makes any sense. He portrays himself as the Ralphamale BTW. He has the sex. He does the drugs. The man is afraid to xeet at public corporations Xitter account. Bitch Made

Ralph thinks getting so retard drunk alone that he’s easily robbed or loses his wallet is awesome content!

It is, or at the very least, exponentially better than his standard content. TBH, I don't know why he doesn't stream it. He's admitted turning purple, slurring, and stumbling on piss bottles is his most entertaining content. It's not like he can be any more pathetic than as he is. (I say that, but the answer is yes. He can get more pathetic.) There's only one reason for not doing what he already does in public? Dare I say it? Bitch Made.

Ralph doesn’t understand that most people that decide to get stupid drunk do it among friends who will ensure they don’t get robbed and left stranded or passed out somewhere. Ralph has no friends, so all he’s got is being a drunk retard all by his lonesome and that’s why every trip he takes is a disaster.

Ralph isn't even the lonely dude that shows up daily at a local bar, nor at the Elk's lodge. Everyone sees those guys and immediately knows what they see. A lonely, pathetic drunkard. Ralph is tiers below those guys.

 

[Gator_Aids]

It is, or at the very least, exponentially better than his standard content. TBH, I don't know why he doesn't stream it. He's admitted turning purple, slurring, and stumbling on piss bottles is his most entertaining content. It's not like he can be any more pathetic than as he is. (I say that, but the answer is yes. He can get more pathetic.) There's only one reason for not doing what he already does in public? Dare I say it? Bitch Made.

This is also what confuses me the most. For the last 2 to 3 years Ralph’s best streams have always been when he’s absolutely bottoming out if he were to do a three day video log desperately trying to get back from Tijuana to Merida while on buses and hitchhiking through the nastiest parts of Mexico broke, afraid, and desperate, there would be no end to the donos in site. Fans and haters alike would be lining up with super chats. The only thing preventing him from doing this is having to admit that he fucked up. Bitch made.

 

[Not Even Twice]

Only Ethan Ralph can make a trip home sound like he was lost in the Sahara.
Pathetic.

That's how it's going to be from now on, everything has to be sold as some kind of life or death thing by him. It's the only way he knows how to be interesting enough for people to watch.
Sad part is, he's retarded enough that something as simple as a trip home might actually end up being something that almost lands him in prison or worse. A child can manage this, Ralph not so much.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

That's how it's going to be from now on, everything has to be sold as some kind of life or death thing by him. It's the only way he knows how to be interesting enough for people to watch.
Sad part is, he's retarded enough that something as simple as a trip home might actually end up being something that almost lands him in prison or worse. A child can manage this, Ralph not so much.

Who knows what the world looks like to Ralph's brain at this point? It's so cooked it might actually look like a fantasy land. Goblins are constantly following him and stealing his phone and he has to hunt for treasure on the bus to catch the next one.

 

[RollingRock2]

I would think that a 40 year old man taking the same short haul round trip flight once a month would book long in advance to save a lot of money. But I guess I'm not thinking like a RALPHAMALE