How exactly is he going to execute his dumb plan? A bucket of paint by the side of his door? Really?
How is he going to open the can? "Hey yooo fan forum faggot just wait imma pry this lid off with mah crowbar!"
Is he going to keep it opened? Surely the smell and harmful substances in paint isn't good for his child. Moreoever, anyone can just come at night and kick it down, and the police won't do anything about it.
How will he distinguish between people fucking around with him and service wagies? Ask them about the pillstream to see if they laugh?
How is he going to explain this to his landlord? Now the pavement is covered in paint.
Has this man ever painted anything in his pitiful existence? A garden hose sounds like a better idea.