Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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Vingle said:
Wife is probably right about him. Actually living with someone is completely different than seeing them when you don't live together. Probably the same old "wife is pissed at husband for not doing house chores".
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May be, may be not. She's a gold digging ho anyway for trying to take inheritance money she isn't entitled to, and an idiot for telling her husband's girlfriend she's planning to divorce him.
 
The Demon Pimp of Razgriz said:
May be, may be not. She's a gold digging ho anyway for trying to take inheritance money she isn't entitled to, and an idiot for telling her husband's girlfriend she's planning to divorce him.
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Or she is so angry and frustrated at him that she wants to divorce and that means not being compromising to the jerk who broke her heart. She could be a gold digger but most people aren't really gold digges. They do however have toddler like instincts to hurt those that hurt them and know power of money. It's not unlikely that she might be mentally at point where she wants to hurt him like many people who have run out of patience and love for someone they have been with for a long time. To them this person has hurt them over and over again and don't deserve what they had put in this relationship and want payback for waisting years for them. I have seen many people who are very unreasonable and petty during the divorce but after some space, time and healing are completely mortified at their behavior. They realize how dumb they were but at time it felt like the only way to stand up for themselves and not letting the bastard win.

Telling to GF was dumb though. No defending that.
 
Vingle said:
Wife is probably right about him. Actually living with someone is completely different than seeing them when you don't live together. Probably the same old "wife is pissed at husband for not doing house chores".
Op is a complete retard.
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The Demon Pimp of Razgriz said:
May be, may be not. She's a gold digging ho anyway for trying to take inheritance money she isn't entitled to, and an idiot for telling her husband's girlfriend she's planning to divorce him.
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Sounds like it was a frayed relationship to start with(probably why they're 'poly') and the money made her realize now was ample time to ditch him and get paid. So I'm going with gold digging ho.
 
Amber the Hedgehog said:
Or she is so angry and frustrated at him that she wants to divorce and that means not being compromising to the jerk who broke her heart. She could be a gold digger but most people aren't really gold digges.
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She's specifically divorcing him because she wants a bite out of his inheritance, which, as I said, she's not legally entitled to at all unless he mixed the money with their marital estate in some way, depending on the laws of the state their in. This doesn't paint a very good picture of her in the slightest. Even more sketch that she drops this on the girlfriend then expects her to keep it to herself. That feels like a direct setup for the girlfriend, because if she didn't tell the husband, and it came out later that she knew and didn't tell him, that would destroy their relationship. Also, keeping it secret would give the wife ammo to use later ("What about your little girlfriend? She knew I was divorcing you and didn't even tell you! How do you feel about that, huh?!").
 
Ser Prize said:
Sounds like it was a frayed relationship to start with(probably why they're 'poly') and the money made her realize now was ample time to ditch him and get paid. So I'm going with gold digging ho.
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Both girls are stupid, but wife is more. Don’t know about gold digger, as it is a smart move to wait for the right moment to fuck over the one who hurt you the most. But nah, she fucked it over for herself.
 
The Demon Pimp of Razgriz said:
She's specifically divorcing him because she wants a bite out of his inheritance, which, as I said, she's not legally entitled to at all unless he mixed the money with their marital estate in some way, depending on the laws of the state their in. This doesn't paint a very good picture of her in the slightest. Even more sketch that she drops this on the girlfriend then expects her to keep it to herself. That feels like a direct setup for the girlfriend, because if she didn't tell the husband, and it came out later that she knew and didn't tell him, that would destroy their relationship. Also, keeping it secret would give the wife ammo to use later ("What about your little girlfriend? She knew I was divorcing you and didn't even tell you! How do you feel about that, huh?!").
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I didn't say it looks good or is good. There is just a difference in motivation between gold digging and being a dick to someone who hurt you. It ultimately will reflect to end came and quite often dicks are the ones look out for more. Gold diggers are there for the gains and will walk away if profits aren't good enough or likely enough. Dicks are often willing to hurt themselves just hurt you more. Still there is a possibility that you can amend the relationship enough that hurtful behavior of sake of hurting isn't issue anymore and they won't go out their way to take your things. Heck they might even let you win because it doesn't matter anymore and just want to move on with their life.
 
Fun convo this weekend.

There's this bombshell late 20s goth chick I know. Ran into her a month ago, she was in a rush so very small small-talk, she mentioned dumping her boyfriend.

Caught up with her this past weekend and asked her what happened. "He started dropping little tests to see if I'd be interested in a poly relationship. That shit's for fags so I dumped him."
 
I can say I have seen a lot of this shit close up with what used to be one of my closest friends and his then wife. For whatever reason they "opened" things up pretty early and got hooked up with a quite fine science chick in grad school. Fast forward about 3 years and this has devolved (evolved?) into my friend and new girl effectively just bullying his wife to the point where she didn't even want to live with him anymore but was still holding on hope to the relationship surviving. I saw this shit with my own eyes when I went over there to hang out. It was shocking to see at the time but now, not so much. He would do it on his own, for example when she hadn't bought weed and had it ready to go for him to smoke as soon as he opened the door coming home. Then when new girl was over, they'd roast his wife over the smallest shit - new girl would have her yapping little bitch dogs over and they'd be making noise. Wife would tell them to hush because the neighbors will get pissed - new girl gets mad at her because she never tells her cat to shutup.

The cat doesn't fucking make nearly enough noise to ever get the neighbors pissed and everyone knew it, but hubando and new girl just roasted her anyway. Former friend is a big nerd, and new girl is a postgrad too in a bio field, whereas wife scraped by with a psych degree from the local commuter school, so her intelligence and accomplishments were being constantly belittled too.

The whole thing was fairly horrifying and made me sick. I was never a huge fan of his wife, she was a huge pothead, kind of a spaz and can be annoying. But not malicious in any way. Eventually she caught covid, and being the bugman that he is, he left the apartment to live with new girl. Weeks pass, he announces finally that they were through, but she could stay at the apartment since he knew she lost her job and had nowhere else to go except her parents.

Couple weeks later he changes his mind and kicks her out so him and new girl can move in. The was truly the final straw for me having anything to do with him.

Couple things to take away from this shitshow if you bothered to read it all:

Poly never works, no matter how many excuses and coping you make. It itself is a huge cope for you being too much of a pussy to either work on your own sex life/intrapersonal relationship skills, or for you being too much of a pussy to end things if they truly are irreconcilable.

Dudes in poly are disgusting. Truly revolting human beings with hardly a shred of masculinity in them. IRL is different from what is depicted in media.

I have typically been pretty distrustful of women, but I was surprised massively at how hard this dudes wife fought to try to hold on and keep her marriage going, even though he was the one who pressured her into poly in the first place, and had devolved over the years into ever more of a disgusting, bitchy, pot addict slob. This chick put on 30-40 lbs purely from the shots shed drink just so she could be blasted when new girl was around and the humiliation wouldn't get to her so much - just so she could be around her man. Just as shocking as how he acted, I was equally shocked at how devoted she was to him despite him being a total fucking loser at that point.

She's found a new guy, thankfully, and he seems like an absolutely massive improvement despite being a literal weeb that asks me to torrent the complete Initial D. He at least likes working on cars, goes skydiving with her, takes her places and tries to convince her to drop her horseshit job because he can pay the bills by himself.

I completely believe the above poster about the "gold digger". She may just be enraged and hurt and going for laying the pain on this dude. I've seen it happen myself and lot of times the dudes deserve it.
 
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GoysGoneWild said:
my former best friend managed to cuck his wife with poly and turned into a giant piece of shit
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I wonder if these people turn into giant pieces of shit. Or they were always that way, and poly gave them the social excuse to be the asshole they always were inside. Like that time I was watching Dawkins was talking to that religious guy and he said "If you didn't follow religion you'd just rape and kill people you didn't like" and I was like "okay psycho..."

Maybe theres more sociopaths in the world than we think.
 
I've somehow got one poly story as someone who neither lives in NYC or Portland. Years ago, my friends were very worried for this girl. I didn't know her that well but apparently she used to play dnd with my friends. She has basically joined this weird gay "feminist" group that worshipped everything counter-culture as breaking down the blah blah heteropatriarchy blah blah. It was the same online cult lolcow Thomas Hinyard (https://kiwifarms.net/threads/venus-dikhadijah-selenite-thomas-lee-hinyard.42760/) ran in for a short time to give you a picture of the level of crazy I'm talking about.

Through this weird group, she started dating a fellow butch lesbo who was smarter and only used the cult for attention and access to stupid women. The butch lesbo would brag about being in a polyamorous relationship while her new dumbass egirlfriend had 0 idea. Any friend who warned Dumbass got screeched at and blocked for being tooooxiiiic or butchxbutchphobic or whatever. She REFUSED to believe anything that wasn't "your weird butch on butch relationship is amazing!"

It was so insane. It seemed like some weird parody. Against all advice, she moved from the Midwest to NYC to be with her butch queenking. The relationship immediately became emotionally abusive, the "poly" butch was caught cheating but accused Dumbass of being bigoted for caring, and then Dumbass became temporarily homeless in NYC while her ex slandered her online as a bigot. The end. Dumbass learned nothing from this and still blocks anyone who tries to help her. But now she's a detransitioner who somehow twisted being a detransitioner in a poetic enough way to stay in her cult and is dating another detransitioner.
 
GoysGoneWild said:
I can say I have seen a lot of this shit close up with what used to be one of my closest friends and his then wife. For whatever reason they "opened" things up pretty early and got hooked up with a quite fine science chick in grad school. Fast forward about 3 years and this has devolved (evolved?) into my friend and new girl effectively just bullying his wife to the point where she didn't even want to live with him anymore but was still holding on hope to the relationship surviving. I saw this shit with my own eyes when I went over there to hang out. It was shocking to see at the time but now, not so much. He would do it on his own, for example when she hadn't bought weed and had it ready to go for him to smoke as soon as he opened the door coming home. Then when new girl was over, they'd roast his wife over the smallest shit - new girl would have her yapping little bitch dogs over and they'd be making noise. Wife would tell them to hush because the neighbors will get pissed - new girl gets mad at her because she never tells her cat to shutup.

The cat doesn't fucking make nearly enough noise to ever get the neighbors pissed and everyone knew it, but hubando and new girl just roasted her anyway. Former friend is a big nerd, and new girl is a postgrad too in a bio field, whereas wife scraped by with a psych degree from the local commuter school, so her intelligence and accomplishments were being constantly belittled too.

The whole thing was fairly horrifying and made me sick. I was never a huge fan of his wife, she was a huge pothead, kind of a spaz and can be annoying. But not malicious in any way. Eventually she caught covid, and being the bugman that he is, he left the apartment to live with new girl. Weeks pass, he announces finally that they were through, but she could stay at the apartment since he knew she lost her job and had nowhere else to go except her parents.

Couple weeks later he changes his mind and kicks her out so him and new girl can move in. The was truly the final straw for me having anything to do with him.

Couple things to take away from this shitshow if you bothered to read it all:

Poly never works, no matter how many excuses and coping you make. It itself is a huge cope for you being too much of a pussy to either work on your own sex life/intrapersonal relationship skills, or for you being too much of a pussy to end things if they truly are irreconcilable.

Dudes in poly are disgusting. Truly revolting human beings with hardly a shred of masculinity in them. IRL is different from what is depicted in media.

I have typically been pretty distrustful of women, but I was surprised massively at how hard this dudes wife fought to try to hold on and keep her marriage going, even though he was the one who pressured her into poly in the first place, and had devolved over the years into ever more of a disgusting, bitchy, pot addict slob. This chick put on 30-40 lbs purely from the shots shed drink just so she could be blasted when new girl was around and the humiliation wouldn't get to her so much - just so she could be around her man. Just as shocking as how he acted, I was equally shocked at how devoted she was to him despite him being a total fucking loser at that point.

She's found a new guy, thankfully, and he seems like an absolutely massive improvement despite being a literal weeb that asks me to torrent the complete Initial D. He at least likes working on cars, goes skydiving with her, takes her places and tries to convince her to drop her horseshit job because he can pay the bills by himself.

I completely believe the above poster about the "gold digger". She may just be enraged and hurt and going for laying the pain on this dude. I've seen it happen myself and lot of times the dudes deserve it.
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I'm glad she found a better man. No one deserves that kind of treatment. I just hope she didn't process the abuse too much and now considers that kind of behavior to be acceptable or a proper showing of love.
 
b0x said:
I wonder if these people turn into giant pieces of shit. Or they were always that way, and poly gave them the social excuse to be the asshole they always were inside. Like that time I was watching Dawkins was talking to that religious guy and he said "If you didn't follow religion you'd just rape and kill people you didn't like" and I was like "okay psycho..."

Maybe theres more sociopaths in the world than we think.
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I think all of us have some level of darkness inside of us, but we're kept in check by either societal rules or personal moral rules. Polyamory and related concepts are basically built around breaking down all of this and putting yourself in the center no matter what, to an absolutely destructive degree. Basically making you into your absolute worst version of yourself, while being convinced that you're in the right for doing it.

Basically, it's a bit of both. The potential to be a terrible person varies between people (but everyone has it to some degree) and this type of cult goes out of its way to unlock that potential to its fullest.
 
PrincessHomura said:
I think all of us have some level of darkness inside of us, but we're kept in check by either societal rules or personal moral rules. Polyamory and related concepts are basically built around breaking down all of this and putting yourself in the center no matter what, to an absolutely destructive degree. Basically making you into your absolute worst version of yourself, while being convinced that you're in the right for doing it.
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i think this is the result of the overly naive and optimistic worldview that some people have these days.
like, if you genuinely view people as inherently good and moral, then rules and constraints seem pointless to you, and removing them all means liberating the goodness inside every person.
but in reality people generally aren't inherently virtuous angels, many are morally ambiguous opportunists, so when you throw these people in a situation where all rules and constraints are removed, they will do what opportunists naturally do: take advantage of others. and in the context of romance and intimacy, people taking advantage of each other means people end up getting abused, cucked, humiliated, heartbroken.
 
Ignoring deep-dives into good and evil, I think it isn't complicated. Most poly types are simply lazy, emotionally immature hedonists that either didn't get laid until too late in their adult lives and are now chasing the fantasy of "what if?" and/or never stopped to consider that feeling good all the time maybe isn't the main goal in life.

There is a strong element of politics to the entire thing too though. Of all the people doing this shit there isn't anyone close to conservative or libertarian, it's left/far-left all the way down. I also don't think it's a coincidence that it's the former group also have their shit together with families, cars, property, savings... while the latter will be undoubtedly be renting and fucking strangers until conscripted to fight the Chinese.
 
DumbDude42 said:
but in reality people generally aren't inherently virtuous angels, many are morally ambiguous opportunists, so when you throw these people in a situation where all rules and constraints are removed, they will do what opportunists naturally do: take advantage of others.
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And thats why I'm a hermit.
 
Alcoholism said:
Libertarian's don't need to put special twee labels on it. They just fuck around and think of it as such.
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Somethin to be said for pragmatism. Like, swingers are weird but at least you know what you're in for. Poly is the veganism of the relationship world - performative, self absorbed, and ultimately unhealthy.
 
Schatzi Katze said:
Somethin to be said for pragmatism. Like, swingers are weird but at least you know what you're in for. Poly is the veganism of the relationship world - performative, self absorbed, and ultimately unhealthy.
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My best friend is a swinger. Totally into the life style. And completely uncreepy about it, unlike the lefttoids I know who somehow manage to give off major porno creep vibes.

My buddy every other year or so will simply, "Hey, just curious if you and the wife ever changed your mind about, you know, maybe going to Italy or something and fuckin? No? Okay, cool, I respect that."

I asked him once why he never invited just me to come over and dick down his wife.

"That'd be weird man, we know you and know you'd be going behind your wife's back to do that and that's just not right."
 
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