Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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The only civilizations I can think of that practice polygamy are dune coons, regular coons and a few coons of the frozen wastes so it's really civilization has monogamy and "civilization" has polygamy.
Okay then go with since the dawn of western civilization going back to the ancient greeks marriage was between a man and a woman.
Most men have an inbuilt biological desire to have sex with as many women as possible. Always have. To pretend we don't is incredibly gay.

I'm not saying that fact justifies modern poly bullshit or that monogamy doesn't lead to more stability, but to act like most wars and invasions throughout the western world weren't giant rape fests where soldiers fucked everything that moved is absolutely retarded.
 
Most men have an inbuilt biological desire to have sex with as many women as possible. Always have. To pretend we don't is incredibly gay.
Yeah I don't like that argument.

What are you an animal driven by base instinct or a sentient being capable of self control and understand the future that results from your actions?
 
What are you an animal driven by base instinct or a sentient being capable of self control and understand the future that results from your actions?
People are both. We're animals that kill the men and capture the women, and we're sentient beings that realize polygamy doesn't work in a peaceful society. Men that are smart enough control the impulse and stick with a woman they can be happy with. Sure, you might be caught by weakness and stare at another girl's tits, but you don't throw it all away. But then there're dumb people that cheat, or decide they should be allowed a sidepiece and are poly.
 
Yeah I don't like that argument.

What are you an animal driven by base instinct or a sentient being capable of self control and understand the future that results from your actions?
We're an animal driven by base instinct who over millennia of cultural evolution has learned that whatever is gratifying in the moment is not necessarily in our best interest long term.

Are you seriously trying to make the argument that you don't want to have sex with attractive women when you see them? That voice in your head that tells you it's not a good idea to try and fuck Jill from accounting because you are married with kids and it will make your life go to shit is the result of an awful lot of trail and error over many generations.

Anyway, the point is men don't naturally just want to fuck a single woman. It's a learned behavior.
 
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bioessentialism is retarded and if we were driven by the same shit animals are we'd never be able to learn maths or physics lmao. of course you want to fuck attractive people that's the point of being attracted to sexual characteristics. the voice in your head is the socialized element that defines us from the animals.
 
Setting all aside, willing to casually fuck different people and wanting to try to maintain relationships that include multiple people are very different things. There are people who are just unrepentant horn dogs, people who start off that way but mature into wanting to settle down, people who have never wanted anything else but to settle down, and so on. Eventually settling down will work for most people if they can find their person. But this is all an entirely different thing from what the poly people are huffing.

A lot of people have the capacity to hook up with different people. I'd argue that no one has the capacity to have genuine connections and maintained relationships with multiple at the same time. That's sort of the whole point of critiquing them: they're trying to argue what they have are in fact relationships but many people (me included) would argue what they're engaging in aren't relationships at all but rather extensions on swinging arrangements or what have you.

In the case of polygamy and harems they were essentially slaves and many would be ignored while only one or a few were favored at a time. Hoarding a bunch of women was a status and wealth thing (and sometimes political) as much as it was to have something to fuck. I'm reminded of an account of a man who quit mormonism back when it was first founded because it got too expensive because if you bought a dress for one of them you had to buy a dress for the two or more others and on it went :story: just as an example. It's not something sustainable or even desirable for the more common because they'd actually have to deal with them whereas the very rich and very upper class of societies who previously practiced it basically just sectioned them off and had them take care of themselves and be tended to by servants. Interesting from a historical perspective but not really anything applicable to modern relationships, even those that are alternative.
 
The prevailing view in medieval Europe was that women were inherently licentious and less moral than men, and that devout men had to be careful to not let the carnal nature of women lure them from the path of righteousness. Similar attitudes exist today when incels accuse women of using their 20’s to sleep around and then wanting to settle down when they can no longer do so.

All’s that to say that both men and women clearly feel sexual attraction to more than one person during their lifetime and people will point to spurious arguments involving biology, or theology to support why they think one sex is incapable of controlling those urges.

the matter of whether there’s any evolutionary psychological basis to it has zero bearing on whether it results in a stable outcome in society.

Theres a biological basis for having the urge to bash in the skull of some asshole in traffic who cuts you off and then flips you the bird. It’s still a terrible way to resolve traffic disputes.
 
Eventually, those kids go on to realize that all the time that Mom and dad are spending on these new relationships or with other adults that they're sleeping with is time that Mom and dad aren't spending with them. It's not possible to have a kid involved in a poly situation without that child being neglected in some capacity.
Erm, maybe the kid is neglecting MY feelings and MY needs to constantly have random people fuck me???? You ever think of that??? Selfish ass kids

God I am so sick of the, "UM ACKSHUALLY human beings are naturally polygamous and monogamy is just a societal constraint," bullshit.

Literally so is murder and rape being bad, or anyone weak having any intrinsic value for anything (such as women voting) being "societal constraints". But somehow I doubt any of these slores would be fine with Chad Thundercock punching them in the face and dragging them by their hair back to their fuck-shack and forcing them to fuck and cook them. Or maybe they would a lot of them do seem like cockhungry idiots although they seem to pretend this shit they're doing is "empowering to women".
 
Eventually, those kids go on to realize that all the time that Mom and dad are spending on these new relationships or with other adults that they're sleeping with is time that Mom and dad aren't spending with them. It's not possible to have a kid involved in a poly situation without that child being neglected in some capacity.
And often just get exposed to it. It's fucked up for kids to meet their parents "partners" even if they're not being directly exposed to anything sexual. And yes often the "partners" sleep over and have breakfast with the kid at the table and shit.
 
And often just get exposed to it. It's fucked up for kids to meet their parents "partners" even if they're not being directly exposed to anything sexual. And yes often the "partners" sleep over and have breakfast with the kid at the table and shit.
Which makes it hard for normal kid activities, like sleepovers, to take place. Even if Mom and dad make room for their kid's social life and activities, the kid may be too embarassed by their parents lifestyle to bring friends over.
 
Which makes it hard for normal kid activities, like sleepovers, to take place. Even if Mom and dad make room for their kid's social life and activities, the kid may be too embarassed by their parents lifestyle to bring friends over.
The other parents if they have sense will keep their own kids far away from that mess and never allow them to go over anyway.

(Also, not to continue sort of off topic, but there are in fact many species of animals that are monogamous or only have one breeding male for a group of females. This pairings and groups are rather fixed unless death, illness, or old age kills one of them in a pairing, or gets the male of the group killed. Indiscriminate breeding seems to be more common in solitary animals that only meet up for mating or in domesticated animals where having them be willing to breed with whoever made available to them is a necessary step for selective breeding. Arguing from a natural perspective is silly because in the natural world there are a shit load of animal species which are not only monogamous but probably better at it than we are. Some will even breed once or twice with different mates before picking a permanent one or a permanent harem to belong to, which mimics young humans who will date a bit before settling down.

Modern poly doesn't mimic any of these at all despite some trying to lean on the animal kingdom because it's a lot of the time two couples canoodling or one female and multiple males. With a lot of the examples of there being multiple females one tends to want to steal the BF/husband away instead of genuinely being a throuple, which is exactly the scenario that happens with cheating. There is no evolutionary advantage when it comes to propagating a species for a female to have multiple males, at the very least, because she can only be impregnated by one at a time.)
 
In humans, offspring are so startlingly dependent for so long compared to other animals, that impregnating as many females as possible is not an effective way to pass your genes down. It's what makes human fathers entirely unique in the animal kingdom, that we are biologically incentivized to stick around and raise our offspring lest they or the mother die during the extremely long gestation and developmental periods. Evolution doesn't care about what you think should be logical, it cares about what actually works.
Was also going to say this. Humanity is so fragile that only civilization allows for idiots to run around knocking up women with zero regard for what happens after.
 
TL;DR: Man badgers wife for an "open relationship" which he thinks would just be his special hallpass because of his wife's mommy issues. Wife gets the self esteem fucked back into her by men she met online who are all better than the husband in both charisma and dick. She falls out of love. Marriage is over. Man cries. The end.
I know this is old but I'm going through the topic cause it's hilarious and I just had to laugh at this, I've seen literally this EXACT story repeated SO many times in these regret stories.

Nearly 100% of the time in a normal dude/dudette relationship (especially MARRIAGE) when the guy decides he wants an "open relationship" (which again nearly 100% of the time is because he already found someone who will fuck him), it absolutely backfires and leaves him miserable every single time, which good play asshole games get fucked idiot. Because no matter how good looking/whatever you are/really want sex and get none from your wife and how fat/ugly/your wife is, it's ALWAYS infinitely easier for him to get blown out 19 times a night if she wants. This was the perfect example her sister sets up her profile (she thinks no one will like her) IMMEDIATELY flooded by Chads lol.

Even if the guy has a good time and is fine with it (they'll almost always end up not being fine) they will consistently get less and less attention (and also spend more and more money) for less results, meanwhile the wife can just turn on her phone and be getting whined and dined and stuffed in minutes. The only chance it has is if the wife has SUCH low self esteem that she'll never even attempt to communicate with anyone outside and will just stay at home dying inside (to which the man usually leaves at some point anyway so still fail) but women also usually have support systems (and far larger ones) so the idea of this even being what happens is incredibly low because like in this story where the sister/friend told her to go for it and set it up.

The scenario can kind of maybe "work" (and "work" as in they're already a clusterfuck) is in one the gender degenerate combinations, and to a lesser degree if the wife suggests opening it when she has a cuck husband because even if it kills him he'll just suck it (the cum) up.
 
The scenario can kind of maybe "work" (and "work" as in they're already a clusterfuck) is in one the gender degenerate combinations, and to a lesser degree if the wife suggests opening it when she has a cuck husband because even if it kills him he'll just suck it (the cum) up.
There are only three situations where I've heard of any kind of open relationship bullshit working in real life.

1) Gays.

2) Couples who are swingers who partner swap, so no one is left out.

3) One person in the relationship gets off on the other person fucking around and acts as wingman/woman.

I'm not saying those types of situations don't implode or are healthy, just that I've heard of people doing that kind of thing and staying together.
 
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