Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

Rituals For Connection

Feeling like no one prepared you for the reality of polyamory? Those nights when your partner cancels a date, trying to push down any feelings of bitterness and anxiety because your other partner is at a show with some random and that could have been you? Try our magic ritual workshop! We’ll teach you skills like drawing out your intentions in an Eat Pray Love themed journal. Look at some trees. Make sure you text your partner regularly and set up routines (that’s the meat of their actual dating advice). Stack some rocks.
 
I know a lot of you guys also frequent the Corissa Enneking/Juliana Aprileo thread, but for anyone who doesn't, we've been chatting over there about Lindy West's new book, Adult Braces, and the glimpse of polyamory it gives.

For those, unaware, Lindy West is a fat lady who got famousish for writing a book called Shrill, which was turned into a TV show, I think, and then she got married to some smug-looking brown guy wannabe musician and wrote about getting married while massively fat. Anyway, now she wrote a book about her husband manipulating her into polyamory after cheating on her a ton and everyone is supposed to clap for her because she's Enlightened and Definitely Not Brainwashed. Some of our favorite KF cows make a brief appearance in this book and then Corissa confirmed what we all already knew - that she fucks other people but it's ok because Juliana's alright with it.

Today, a new review of the book was released. It's paywalled at NYTimes, but it's on Archive.today. Thought this thread might appreciate this excorciating take on polyamory in general and Lindy's book in particular.
 
Joseph McCarthy said:
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Polygamous cultures are less civilized and more violent. Just look at Muslim countries.
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Your daily reminder polygamy was unheard of in western civilization since it's foundation 3000 years ago with the sole exception being phillip of macedon. Even egotistical henry the 8th would have rather cause a massive schism in Christianity than take a second wife.
 
74164978231 said:
Your daily reminder polygamy was unheard of in western civilization since it's foundation 3000 years ago with the sole exception being phillip of macedon. Even egotistical henry the 8th would have rather cause a massive schism in Christianity than take a second wife.
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Not true. Other Hellenistic rulers practiced polygamy. I guess you can debate whether these were fully Western, but they still fit into the broader picture of our civilization. Ancient Celts and Germanic elites would also take multiple wives on occasion. In the medieval period (and almost certainly earlier times), this was also true for Northern Germanics and Slavs. The Vladimir who converted to Christianity famously had multiple wives before getting baptised and marrying a born-in-the-purple Constantinopolitan princess.

It's admittedly quite rare in Europe compared to perhaps any other region. But you're deceiving yourself if you think it's some completely foreign thing.

Further, this thread is about so-called polyamory. Elite men have almost always felt free to hoard women. Concubinage and misstresses were common in far more times and places than those mentioned above. The distinction between the polyamory and polygamy also gets muddled when you consider that marriage isn't a super solid term that translates perfectly across cultures. Religious frameworks change this, but in the pre-Christian world, the status of a spouse versus a concubine is ambiguous.

I of course appreciate that the universal practice of powerful men fucking around is distinct from modern polyamory. But at the end of the day, it's still non-monogamy.
 
Mary Lee Harvey osWalsh said:
What I really hate is that a lot of these fucking troons and genderspecials and lefttards have adorable earrings and if they weren't trans colors, I would be all over them.
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Don’t let them monopolize fun. Seriously, these little accessories are what draws handmaidens, the trans movement and most of the left gained mainstream status when they were the ones most visibly supporting self expression. Then they paint anyone to the right of them as drab and prudish… they sell these molds in most brick and mortar craft stores as well as on Amazon and temu, if you’re interested in picking up resin crafting
 
Mudkipcorn said:
Not true. Other Hellenistic rulers practiced polygamy. I guess you can debate whether these were fully Western, but they still fit into the broader picture of our civilization. Ancient Celts and Germanic elites would also take multiple wives on occasion. In the medieval period (and almost certainly earlier times), this was also true for Northern Germanics and Slavs. The Vladimir who converted to Christianity famously had multiple wives before getting baptised and marrying a born-in-the-purple Constantinopolitan princess.
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Polygamy was not an accepted social practice in Greek city states. It's why Alexanders father marrying multiple women was so not worthy. And by the time of the Romans polygamy was akin to heresy.
 
It's been the same as far back as anyone can remember. Poly relationships are the domain of the ultra wealthy and powerful, religious extermists in weirdo cults, and the ugliest/most degenerate amongst us.

The ultra wealthy and the religious nutjobs generally know better than to post online about the blow-to-blow details of their various relationships, so we mostly get an insight into the lives of the uggos. Besides having access to reddit, I'm convinced the only different between the degens of today and yesteryear is that today's degens have infused therapy speak into timesharing fat whores and sexually compulsive peasants.
 
This is literally every post in this subreddit. Lying, manipulating, and discarding others all in the name of polyamory.

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Eva Braun said:
Nothing more sexy than scheduling your partners like work meetings
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I dislike the 'partner' trend for the same reason. It sterilizes the relationship and is just more gender = sex word games. We're in a romantic relationship, not starting a lawfirm.
 
Joseph McCarthy said:
You say this as a joke, but I bet they actually do have Discord servers for their polycules with group gooning sessions.
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They do and somewhere (might have been this thread, might have been the one for Kimchi Cuddles) there was a joke from a 'poly' person that these degenerates are the only ones who actually use Google Calendar.
 
What I don’t understand is why these people insist on trying to have actual RELATIONSHIPS with several people. The vast majority obviously just wants to fuck others while still having a boyfriend/girlfriend as a safety net. Why not just make that the arrangement then?? Why not just have no strings attached sex with a stranger once a month or whatever and stay with your wife/husband?

Having to actually have a relationship with multiple people introduces so much more problems I can’t even wrap my head around it. You have to be emotionally available, remember birthdays, celebrate holidays, meet their family and there’s an expectation of building a life together. What about living arrangements? Starting a family? Managing work schedules and dates and chores and cooking and everything else is difficult enough in a normal relationship. And it all get’s exponentially more complicated the more people you add.

So why do they do it when it seems like even they themselves find it a miserable pain in the ass most of the time?
 
Knyttet said:
What I don’t understand is why these people insist on trying to have actual RELATIONSHIPS with several people. The vast majority obviously just wants to fuck others while still having a boyfriend/girlfriend as a safety net. Why not just make that the arrangement then?? Why not just have no strings attached sex with a stranger once a month or whatever and stay with your wife/husband?
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Their "main relationship" is probably unhealthy and they can't just break up or divorce due to sunk-cost fallacy. If you have a strong bond with your partner, then you wouldn't feel the need to sleep with randoms on the side. Poly people also admit that things like "New Relationship Energy" exist where you will bond with a new side-bitch because, at least in normal people, sex induces bonding. And they never have any idea of how boundaries work so it all turns into a toxic mess. The only way I could see this type of arrangement working out is if they exclusively see the side-bitches only for sex, never hang out with them outside of sex, never emotionally confide anything in them, and basically just use them as a living fleshlight or free prostitute. If you do anything outside of sex with them, then you'll start to bond with them and want to hang out with them over your "main partner". Hardly any of them can compartmentalize like that though, and even if they do successfully do that, it's kind of shitty toward the other person they're using for sex. Especially if their side-bitch is single and without a "main partner", then the side-bitch might want more from the other one. Swingers are less immoral than poly people because at least they're always doing it with their spouse involved and both people have a "main partner safety net". But I've seen even swingers struggle with the same shit polyamorous people do. The best relationship structure is the tried-and-true method of monogamy.

Knyttet said:
So why do they do it when it seems like even they themselves find it a miserable pain in the ass most of the time?
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These people literally have a low IQ. They cannot think ahead about the consequences. This is why polyamory is heavily correlated with transgenderism and mental illnesses. Just look at how many poly people claim a variety of diagnoses.

Side note: I wonder if these people have any NORMAL friends that they do not have sex with. I cannot imagine that having several relationships leaves you with much time for platonic friends who are not having sex with you. If you need a calendar to schedule all your different partners, then you probably have very little time for friends and family. And I don't think that sounds mentally healthy for someone to only interact with mentally ill whores. They also think they are much more enlightened than monogamous normies. If you scroll for a few minutes on r/polyamory, you'll see them say things like "I don't know why cheating is such a big deal". If they do have friends they're not sleeping with, then they probably have such a warped view of human relations that they see every person they meet as a potential fuckbuddy.
 
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RainbowStarlight said:
This is literally every post in this subreddit. Lying, manipulating, and discarding others all in the name of polyamory.

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I dug into the post history assuming that this was a woman having a jealous meltdown because her polytard boyfriend chose sex with a hotter woman over sex with her. But nope: OP is a male (actual male, no gender bullshit), which somehow makes it 10x more embarrassing. Bro, get something better to do than crying to Reddit over these retarded scheduling minutiae.
 
90% of whining about poly bullshit is dumb cucks realizing they've been replaced in the relationship. It's overwhelmingly women who initiate this crap and weak losers going along with it.
 
Knyttet said:
What I don’t understand is why these people insist on trying to have actual RELATIONSHIPS with several people. The vast majority obviously just wants to fuck others while still having a boyfriend/girlfriend as a safety net. Why not just make that the arrangement then?? Why not just have no strings attached sex with a stranger once a month or whatever and stay with your wife/husband?

Having to actually have a relationship with multiple people introduces so much more problems I can’t even wrap my head around it.
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Well a lot of "lets open the relationship" proposals tend to start for the same reasons

1) the one wanting it open is on the verge of cheating or already has. Wants to make it "ethical" before word gets out

2) the one wanting it open feels they "missed out" on not getting to sleep around in the past and "want to explore this avenue"

3) The one wanting it knows the breakup would be messy / will need to find new living arrangements / fight for children custody so its easier to push for an "open" relationship.

Also many of the people who want to go Poly seem to narcissists who really only consider their needs as important. So the answer to how they juggle it all is that...they don't

Spouse / partner you live with getting upset that you are ignoring them? Blame it on New Relationship Energy - the beauty of NRE is theres no limit on how long you can use it! 1 week, 2 months, 1 year. Just use it any time your main partner expresses feelings of neglect to instantly shut down discussion. Throw in a little dig at your partner for not being "supportive" when they "promised they would" when you opened the relationship just to really twist the knife.

Kids - little Joey has Soccer practice buuuuut - that new childless partner is somehow only available in that same time frame for date night. Tough luck Joey, I guess the other parent handles it. I'm sure the other partners have 0 to do with the kids to boot so its a great "get out of parenting" clause.
 
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