Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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Cooking Mama said:
Huge apologies for how long this took! Besides just being busy with work, my first draft of this account was accidentally deleted… which is probably for the best as I can be long-winded as is. Anyways, without further ado, I present to you the tale of my personal cows, Luke and Alice, and their foray into the strange, new world of polyamory.


A few things to note before I hop back into this box of crazy:

  • Luke and Alice had been together for five or six years at this point.
  • They had broken up before twice, both times Luke was the one to break up with Alice.
  • Luke has admitted to his close friends on several occasions during the first year or two of their relationship that he was only staying with Alice because he needed the combined income or else he’d be homeless.
  • There have been a few times Alice has caught Luke sexting with other people, but he always explained it away as “role playing” and it was “nothing personal”, even though it was in first person. She bought it.
Let us begin. Polyamory was the new buzzword on tumblr, a site Luke and Alice spent their days obsessively checking and seeking attention from strangers in various ways, and I remember discussing it because, hey, Mama tries to be understanding and tolerant. I remember very distinctly that Luke and Alice found the idea abhorrent, especially Alice. She reiterated that she only believed in monogamy and couldn’t even think of dating someone else or sleeping with someone else many times throughout the conversation and Luke generally agreed. I said I can understand swingers, though it wasn’t really my thing, and that was that.


It was about six months later that things began to change. There was a foul scent in the air, only growing worse as the days passed, until it finally culminated in an argument that I sincerely wish I had been privy to. Alas, my good friend Joe (who was their roommate at the time) was the only one around to hear it, so of course he messaged me immediately to tell me what he had heard out of concern for Alice. Despite their lolcow status, at the time, we were close and we did worry about Alice and how Luke treated her (which he treated her like shit, as is all too common with cows). Basically, Joe told me that the two were arguing in their bedroom when he heard Luke yell, “You’re suffocating me! Why can’t you just let me be polyamorous?! Why can’t you just try to be polyamorous, too?!” something along those lines. I used to have the caps of our texts, but they’re on my old phone which is somewhere in my room…


Anyways, immediately we were suspicious, but also hopeful. Would this be the breaking point? Would they finally end their god awful relationship? Alice was strictly monogamous, after all. Not only that, but we just figured that Luke was saying he was poly so he could keep his cash cow and fuck others on the side. We speculated and wondered until, finally, Alice approached me and asked me about their poly problem and what she should do. I told that my opinion was that for any relationship that involved swinging/polyamory/whatthefuckever to be “healthy” that both parties had to be consenting. I didn’t think it would lead anywhere good if one partner was guilted into it or felt uncomfortable by the situation. Everyone should be open to discussion and that if she’s not okay with it then she shouldn’t do it.

I can’t remember how much time passed after my conversation with Alice, but it wasn’t much. I want to say a week, maybe two at most? But, Luke and Alice eventually told Joe and I that they would be giving polyamory that good old college try and we wished them the best of luck, though I did pull Alice aside when we had time alone to ask if this is what she really wanted. Again, I was pretty concerned, I was suspicious that Luke had guilted her into it, and when I asked her, Alice’s excuse was basically, “Well, our relationship is the first serious one either one of us have had and since we started dating young, Luke hasn’t really had time to explore himself and others.” it reeked off bullshit, but I backed off. My friendship with these two cows was beginning to deteriorate anyways due to me waking up and getting a whiff of their bullshit. At this point, I was just content to sit back and watch the magic happen.

This polyamory shit all started just around the time our friendship ended, but I did get to witness their humble beginnings. They were insistent on finding a bisexual/pansexual female who would date the both of them. They could always find someone who was interested in Alice, but not Luke, which was HILARIOUS. Given how long I’ve known Luke, I just know he was sure that he would find tons of girls interested in him, yet here he was whining and bitching about how no one liked him. He was seething with jealousy over how much attention Alice was getting, especially from this one girl, Eve, who had just left a pretty abusive relationship when she met our cows. Luke was hoping he could get in with Eve and help her “heal”, but she just was not interested in him whatsoever, which just further pissed him off. So, what did he do? Told everyone that Eve was “stalking” them and wouldn’t leave them alone and when I asked them point blank if they tried breaking it off with Eve, they hemmed and hawed and finally came out with the truth: they hadn’t broken up with Eve, they hadn’t even talked to her about the issues they had had with her. Instead, they were hoping that their passive aggressive comments and blowing her off would get her to leave them alone. Let’s not even talk about how they were purposely trying to offend her at a party to get her to leave.


Somehow, all of our mutual friends bought into the stalking bullshit except me and Joe because, as I said, we finally woke up and could smell the manure from miles away.


Now, all of this coming up is second hand information through their other roomie who is no longer friends with them either, though I did get to witness some of their insanity through their tumblr. A bunch of shit happened with Eve and the cows that I learned about after I became friends with the roomie again (that’s a long story), but suffice to say she was treated like shit because that’s just how Luke and Alice are. After Luke got it through his thick, Neanderthal like skull that Eve nor any other adult woman was going to hop on his dick like he had believed, he started digging through tumblr and set his sights on a fifteen year old that lived near all of us. Though he swears up and down he was never flirting (he claims he comes off as flirtatious even when he doesn’t “mean to be”), a bunch of personal posts I saw on their tumblr definitely insinuated some not so pure thoughts for the minor. Alice and Luke pined after this poor kid, would leave flirty little comments in their askbox and shit, and even made a few not so subtle posts talking about how they wished their crush was old enough to date. To ratchet up the creepy, they showed up on the kid’s sixteenth birthday (mind you, these are mid-twenty adult cows) and they were the oldest ones there besides the kid’s parents. About this time, they apparently went off on mini-rants with their roomie (who then told me lol) about how having “crushes” on teenagers was totally normal and wasn’t at all skeevy or pedophilia if they didn’t act on these impulses. Shit like that.


Everything kicked off when mean ole anons on tumblr began accusing Luke and Alice of pedophilia and warned them that they had contacted the minor’s parents about what they were doing. Of course, the cows deleted everything then cried about how they were being bullied and they weren’t pedophiles! These anons were just misconstruing the situation! Then they made a bunch of posts about how they no longer felt safe on their tumblrs and were moving to different accounts, blah blah blah. Typical whiny cow shit. Luke even sent some hate anons to himself, which the roomie found out because Luke's dumbass forgot he had asked the roomie to put one of those visitor trackers on his tumblr. Ahhh, it was so good.


After that, I don’t know much as their friendship with all our old mutual friends deteriorated, leaving them friendless and alone. I did find Alice’s new tumblr as it was in my recommended blogs for some reason (before I quit) before she changed her name for the millionth time and she was talking about how she was pissed off that this pregnant woman she was pursuing no longer wanted to date Alice because she was pregnant and wanted to me in a committed relationship with the child’s father. Alice, in typical lolcow fashion, blamed the fucking unborn baby for ruining their potential relationship and raged about how shitty the pregnant love interest was for dumping her. And then went on to bitch about how much she hates kids and how babies are "parasites" and children "ruin everything".


And that is just one of many amazing stories about my lolcows. I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it’s so long! So much stuff happened over an extended period and I wanted to cover what I could remember.
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This sounds to me more like Luke (who is a full-blown lolcow from the beginning) dragged Alice with him into lolcowdom. If you ever want to expand on them on other matters than polyamory, there's the Personal Lolcow thread.

As for polyamory, I am not surprised that it always goes poorly for those assholes. Given that it is legitimized cheating to begin with, which is a relationship minefield.

One thing I honestly hate is the way they try to justify fucking whatever moves: "I can't go back to mono!", like Polyamory is an orientation you're born with or something, and not a shitty behavior you can quit by being disciplined.
 
Cooking Mama said:
Huge apologies for how long this took! Besides just being busy with work, my first draft of this account was accidentally deleted… which is probably for the best as I can be long-winded as is. Anyways, without further ado, I present to you the tale of my personal cows, Luke and Alice, and their foray into the strange, new world of polyamory.


A few things to note before I hop back into this box of crazy:

  • Luke and Alice had been together for five or six years at this point.
  • They had broken up before twice, both times Luke was the one to break up with Alice.
  • Luke has admitted to his close friends on several occasions during the first year or two of their relationship that he was only staying with Alice because he needed the combined income or else he’d be homeless.
  • There have been a few times Alice has caught Luke sexting with other people, but he always explained it away as “role playing” and it was “nothing personal”, even though it was in first person. She bought it.
Let us begin. Polyamory was the new buzzword on tumblr, a site Luke and Alice spent their days obsessively checking and seeking attention from strangers in various ways, and I remember discussing it because, hey, Mama tries to be understanding and tolerant. I remember very distinctly that Luke and Alice found the idea abhorrent, especially Alice. She reiterated that she only believed in monogamy and couldn’t even think of dating someone else or sleeping with someone else many times throughout the conversation and Luke generally agreed. I said I can understand swingers, though it wasn’t really my thing, and that was that.


It was about six months later that things began to change. There was a foul scent in the air, only growing worse as the days passed, until it finally culminated in an argument that I sincerely wish I had been privy to. Alas, my good friend Joe (who was their roommate at the time) was the only one around to hear it, so of course he messaged me immediately to tell me what he had heard out of concern for Alice. Despite their lolcow status, at the time, we were close and we did worry about Alice and how Luke treated her (which he treated her like shit, as is all too common with cows). Basically, Joe told me that the two were arguing in their bedroom when he heard Luke yell, “You’re suffocating me! Why can’t you just let me be polyamorous?! Why can’t you just try to be polyamorous, too?!” something along those lines. I used to have the caps of our texts, but they’re on my old phone which is somewhere in my room…


Anyways, immediately we were suspicious, but also hopeful. Would this be the breaking point? Would they finally end their god awful relationship? Alice was strictly monogamous, after all. Not only that, but we just figured that Luke was saying he was poly so he could keep his cash cow and fuck others on the side. We speculated and wondered until, finally, Alice approached me and asked me about their poly problem and what she should do. I told that my opinion was that for any relationship that involved swinging/polyamory/whatthefuckever to be “healthy” that both parties had to be consenting. I didn’t think it would lead anywhere good if one partner was guilted into it or felt uncomfortable by the situation. Everyone should be open to discussion and that if she’s not okay with it then she shouldn’t do it.

I can’t remember how much time passed after my conversation with Alice, but it wasn’t much. I want to say a week, maybe two at most? But, Luke and Alice eventually told Joe and I that they would be giving polyamory that good old college try and we wished them the best of luck, though I did pull Alice aside when we had time alone to ask if this is what she really wanted. Again, I was pretty concerned, I was suspicious that Luke had guilted her into it, and when I asked her, Alice’s excuse was basically, “Well, our relationship is the first serious one either one of us have had and since we started dating young, Luke hasn’t really had time to explore himself and others.” it reeked off bullshit, but I backed off. My friendship with these two cows was beginning to deteriorate anyways due to me waking up and getting a whiff of their bullshit. At this point, I was just content to sit back and watch the magic happen.

This polyamory shit all started just around the time our friendship ended, but I did get to witness their humble beginnings. They were insistent on finding a bisexual/pansexual female who would date the both of them. They could always find someone who was interested in Alice, but not Luke, which was HILARIOUS. Given how long I’ve known Luke, I just know he was sure that he would find tons of girls interested in him, yet here he was whining and bitching about how no one liked him. He was seething with jealousy over how much attention Alice was getting, especially from this one girl, Eve, who had just left a pretty abusive relationship when she met our cows. Luke was hoping he could get in with Eve and help her “heal”, but she just was not interested in him whatsoever, which just further pissed him off. So, what did he do? Told everyone that Eve was “stalking” them and wouldn’t leave them alone and when I asked them point blank if they tried breaking it off with Eve, they hemmed and hawed and finally came out with the truth: they hadn’t broken up with Eve, they hadn’t even talked to her about the issues they had had with her. Instead, they were hoping that their passive aggressive comments and blowing her off would get her to leave them alone. Let’s not even talk about how they were purposely trying to offend her at a party to get her to leave.


Somehow, all of our mutual friends bought into the stalking bullshit except me and Joe because, as I said, we finally woke up and could smell the manure from miles away.


Now, all of this coming up is second hand information through their other roomie who is no longer friends with them either, though I did get to witness some of their insanity through their tumblr. A bunch of shit happened with Eve and the cows that I learned about after I became friends with the roomie again (that’s a long story), but suffice to say she was treated like shit because that’s just how Luke and Alice are. After Luke got it through his thick, Neanderthal like skull that Eve nor any other adult woman was going to hop on his dick like he had believed, he started digging through tumblr and set his sights on a fifteen year old that lived near all of us. Though he swears up and down he was never flirting (he claims he comes off as flirtatious even when he doesn’t “mean to be”), a bunch of personal posts I saw on their tumblr definitely insinuated some not so pure thoughts for the minor. Alice and Luke pined after this poor kid, would leave flirty little comments in their askbox and shit, and even made a few not so subtle posts talking about how they wished their crush was old enough to date. To ratchet up the creepy, they showed up on the kid’s sixteenth birthday (mind you, these are mid-twenty adult cows) and they were the oldest ones there besides the kid’s parents. About this time, they apparently went off on mini-rants with their roomie (who then told me lol) about how having “crushes” on teenagers was totally normal and wasn’t at all skeevy or pedophilia if they didn’t act on these impulses. Shit like that.


Everything kicked off when mean ole anons on tumblr began accusing Luke and Alice of pedophilia and warned them that they had contacted the minor’s parents about what they were doing. Of course, the cows deleted everything then cried about how they were being bullied and they weren’t pedophiles! These anons were just misconstruing the situation! Then they made a bunch of posts about how they no longer felt safe on their tumblrs and were moving to different accounts, blah blah blah. Typical whiny cow shit. Luke even sent some hate anons to himself, which the roomie found out because Luke's dumbass forgot he had asked the roomie to put one of those visitor trackers on his tumblr. Ahhh, it was so good.


After that, I don’t know much as their friendship with all our old mutual friends deteriorated, leaving them friendless and alone. I did find Alice’s new tumblr as it was in my recommended blogs for some reason (before I quit) before she changed her name for the millionth time and she was talking about how she was pissed off that this pregnant woman she was pursuing no longer wanted to date Alice because she was pregnant and wanted to me in a committed relationship with the child’s father. Alice, in typical lolcow fashion, blamed the fucking unborn baby for ruining their potential relationship and raged about how shitty the pregnant love interest was for dumping her. And then went on to bitch about how much she hates kids and how babies are "parasites" and children "ruin everything".


And that is just one of many amazing stories about my lolcows. I hope you enjoyed! Sorry it’s so long! So much stuff happened over an extended period and I wanted to cover what I could remember.
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Thank you for sharing. This was horrifying, and I'm glad you managed to stay pretty far away from it all.
 
I'm always sad to read these reddit posts because 8/10 seem to be poor pathetic betacucks who are so afraid of being alone or rejected that they just go along with anything their SO says. Like, if you're married, the last fucking thing you want to hear from the person you are emotionally, and now financially, tied to is "hey I'd like to try fucking other dudes"

And it never ever ends well. It seems like every time it leads to implosion anyway, so why even bother going through the whole polyamory rigamarole, just fucking break up and be done with it.
 
/r/Polyamory should rename itself to...
Cucktales.png
 
neverendingmidi said:
I’m glad you were on the outside watching this shitshow. That sounds like way too much drama to be involved with.
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Thanks, man. I was in the Suck for almost six years and was aware of their shitty behavior, even got caught up in it, but once they went after Joe my gloves came off. I’m glad because after me and Joe’s departure, their downward spiral started and they ended up losing all of their friends except for one. Poor fool.

neural said:
This sounds to me more like Luke (who is a full-blown lolcow from the beginning) dragged Alice with him into lolcowdom. If you ever want to expand on them on other matters than polyamory, there's the Personal Lolcow thread.

As for polyamory, I am not surprised that it always goes poorly for those assholes. Given that it is legitimized cheating to begin with, which is a relationship minefield.

One thing I honestly hate is the way they try to justify fucking whatever moves: "I can't go back to mono!", like Polyamory is an orientation you're born with or something, and not a shitty behavior you can quit by being disciplined.
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I knew Alice way longer than I knew Luke and while she always had cow tendencies and moments, Luke made her into a full blown one. He is definitely the main cow. I have thought about posting about them in the personal cows thread, but since I was so close with them it’s hard to talk about without getting power level-y.

Polyamory is bullshit for sure and every real life instance I’ve seen of it is just basically an excuse to sleep around.

PrincessJupiter said:
Thank you for sharing. This was horrifying, and I'm glad you managed to stay pretty far away from it all.
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No problem! I’m also glad I got out before everything got worse. According to mutual friends, they were thinking of asking me to be in a relationship with them which is both horrifying and hillarious to think about.
 
WhatNemesisMeans said:
Could someone please translate this to non-autistic speech ?
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it sounds to me like OP is fucking both halves of a couple and is worried that there are underlying relationship problems that might be accumulating and eventually end up blowing up and ruining both the poly thing and the relationship between the original couple, because the couple aren’t actually fucking each other as often as they’re fucking OP and at least one half has expressed a loss of interest in having sex with the other half, allegedly.

that happens sometimes even in normal, healthy, loving relationships. sometimes it’s an indicator of relationship problems, sometimes you just get bored of fucking especially if it’s with the same person every time and want to take a break for awhile. it could really go either way, but the fact OP is so aware of these potential red flags and is choosing not only to stick around and continue fucking these people, but is going online and seeking validation in their decision because god, it’s just so hard to not have sex with people who may be having relationship problems, speaks volumes.
 
untitled.png


This cuckery will never get old. At least he's partially self aware of his massive shortcomings.
 
xxXDxx said:
why is this such a problem and so complex and shit

either you're three people who all like to fuck each other, or you aren't
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In theory that's what they want to be. In practice they quite literally don't have the balls to actually do it. They want to fuck multiple partners while keeping a submissive cuck close by in case fuckbuddies are no longer an option.
 
I know this girl who's had a series of "woke"/leftist abusive boyfriends. The one she's currently with and have been for some years has made her agree to letting him have sex with men and old ladies on the side because he doesn't conform to gender roles or whatever. They have a kid together.
 
Big Nasty said:
I know this girl who's had a series of "woke"/leftist abusive boyfriends. The one she's currently with and have been for some years has made her agree to letting him have sex with men and old ladies on the side because he doesn't conform to gender roles or whatever. They have a kid together.
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She's deeply unhappy, right?
 
vertexwindi said:
She's deeply unhappy, right?
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Don't know really, It's been a long time since I saw her. What I've posted above is just what I've heard from gossip. The really sleazy stuff happened 7-8 years ago, I think. He may have cleaned up his act. He was part of a set of people that were having REALLY unclear ideas about their sexual orientation.
 
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Scratch This Nut said:
  • fluid bonded: someone you have sex without condoms with
Ewwwwww.

So it's one big pool of AIDS and dumbass babies?
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The one person I know who is into polyamory has herpes, and still blogs shitty puff pieces about how evolved poly relationships are because there's no jealousy. They never mention herpes or any std, I think most poly people shut up about it to make the community look better. She also made a point of 'coming out'as poly to family members, it's second hand embarrassing for me and I wasn't even there.
 
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