Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

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MediocreMilt said:
This is why you end the relationship the second your partner floats poly/open status as "just an idea".
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I agree.

The OP was pregnant when the guy and the other woman got together. And they have their older kid, who isn't that much older. I don't have kids, but everyone who does says they can be a huge strain on a marriage, which makes sense because they're a lot of work. Why wouldn't you wait until they're older? That's why most swingers are 55+.

The answer is that dad is a goomer who didn't want to actually do any of the parenting (she even says he does nothing but work, sleep, and game). Why would he want to change anything? He gets to fuck two women and one of them is cleaning his house and raising his kids.
 
Crunchy Leaf said:
I agree.

The OP was pregnant when the guy and the other woman got together. And they have their older kid, who isn't that much older. I don't have kids, but everyone who does says they can be a huge strain on a marriage, which makes sense because they're a lot of work. Why wouldn't you wait until they're older? That's why most swingers are 55+.

The answer is that dad is a goomer who didn't want to actually do any of the parenting (she even says he does nothing but work, sleep, and game). Why would he want to change anything? He gets to fuck two women and one of them is cleaning his house and raising his kids.
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there is something really off about this whole story
husband working full time, wife working full time (multiple jobs even), and he still has to 'juggle finances to avoid bankruptcy'? how does that even happen?
 
DumbDude42 said:
there is something really off about this whole story
husband working full time, wife working full time (multiple jobs even), and he still has to 'juggle finances to avoid bankruptcy'? how does that even happen?
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Husband plays a lot of Switch games
 
DumbDude42 said:
there is something really off about this whole story
husband working full time, wife working full time (multiple jobs even), and he still has to 'juggle finances to avoid bankruptcy'? how does that even happen?
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There's 19 US states where the minimum wage is 7.25 an hour, which working full time means making around 15 thousand a year. 50% of Americans make less than 30k a year. She's currently working part time only because she has to take care of the kids. She said they bought a house that was too big because when she had three jobs and he had one they could afford the mortgage, and then they also bought a new car.

More about their relationship:
No he did not help before he started working the 8+ hour days. It's been on me our whole relationship to handle things and the things I have been expected to handle have grown and grown.
If it was just housework that would seem a little dumb to ruin an otherwise good relationship. But it's more than just that. It's that he is not willing to step up in any way for me. We, together, have two children. He never puts both of them to bed. He rarely puts one of them in bed. It's either me or the girlfriend. I asked him to fill out a paper for our oldest to see a counselor. He had 2 weeks and he didn't do it. I reminded him a week before, the day before, and the morning of. We, together, adopted a cat. When I was pregnant he didn't touch the litter box at all. I put appointments on the family calendar and remind him of anything that's coming up. He can't put the appointment in himself or look at the calendar himself to see what is coming up. He never does romantic gestures of any kind. No sweet text messages to wake up to. No candlelight bath. No dinner for 2.
He is either working, playing an online game, or sleeping. I am expecting him to step it up and act like an adult and he can't manage it.
And as far as the girlfriend is concerned, I have tried to talk to him and gotten a big guilt trip. And I'm realizing that if he hasn't changed anything in 5 years why would I expect anything to change just because he isn't dating her anymore?
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Crunchy Leaf said:
There's 19 US states where the minimum wage is 7.25 an hour, which working full time means making around 15 thousand a year. 50% of Americans make less than 30k a year. She's currently working part time only because she has to take care of the kids. She said they bought a house that was too big because when she had three jobs and he had one they could afford the mortgage, and then they also bought a new car.

More about their relationship:
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Why on earth did she have children with this manchild in the first place?
 
NoReturn said:
Why on earth did she have children with this manchild in the first place?
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A consistent theme on Reddit relationship posts is women who’ve had kids with absolute losers. I don’t get it.

I imagine in her case it was also that they’d been together since high school...and this is possibly uncharitable of me, but the fact that the new girlfriend got kicked out of her previous house, OP was at one point working three jobs (and in another post mentions only having an associate’s degree) says they’re lower middle class at absolute best. He might be the best she can do. He has a job, he doesn’t hit her, and he doesn’t do hard drugs. In some places that’s hard to find in a man.
 
Tanner Glass said:
If you thought this guy couldn't get more cucked, you were sadly incorrect.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/apves0/what_are_your_valentines_day_plans/



Also the main reason I came here - https://soundcloud.com/user-24065392

Imagine you are so cucked that you start a podcast about how unbelievably cucked you are. This is an audio podcast totaling 47 minutes long where the wife fawns about her new lover and the husband tries to pretend like he's happy about it. This is pure, 100%, uncut cringe and is not for the faint of heart. They dive into the husband struggling immensely with the relationship and the wife trying to find a way to navigate the relationship but is unwilling to end it.

The podcast was posted yesterday but they reference the date of January 14th, so this was likely recorded before much of his Reddit whining.
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Sorry if I missed this later in the thread, but I recently decided to go through it from the beginning and I've been checking up on some of the people that have been featured here and this guys situation seems to have taken a interesting turn as of a few months back: his wife has decided after 15 years of open marriage that she would be happier in a monogamous relationship .....

Social Recognition Of Being A Couple

This is a little bit of an update, current events and request for input all rolled into one.

Brief background: Married 26 years, open 16, trending toward poly for a couple of years. Wife met bf 8 months ago. He’s mono and she thinks maybe she can’t be poly because it has been hard to have two relationships. We’ve discussed separation and divorce. She says she can’t have sex with two men and asked to stop wearing our wedding rings about 3 weeks ago. Neither of us seem to want to walk away, but she doesn’t want to be married right now, so we are trying to find our way to the middle. I have two relationships, one LDR and one local I met through mutual friends. I really adore them both, but I miss being a “couple” and I’m not feeling “in love” with either of them.

Currently: Several months ago when things were somewhat better and more optimistic, we planned a vacation to an exotic place for the four of us (wife, bf, me and my LDR partner). We are now on said vacation together. Knowing what I know - she’s not “in love” with me “right now”, we don’t have sex with one another, we aren’t wearing wedding rings, and she doesn’t want to be married - I have a hard time seeing her and bf together. After many years of not being jealous, I’m jealous of every couple I see, particularly them. They are cute together and I want to be happy for her. But, given the circumstances, it’s very hard.

I’m interested in perspectives about the perception I have that, if our relationship isn’t committed, married, intimate and “forever”, it somehow is perceived as less valuable compared to other relationships. I have this constant social anxiety that people see her with him and think their relationship is her primary relationship. In a huge way (they have sex and we don’t) he is her primary, although I support us, we raised children together, and have lived together 29 years. I have a relationship with my LDR partner I brought but I know I still very much love my wife, so I don’t see my relationship with my LDR as a public display of commitment that devalues my marriage.

I can’t get over the anxiety and am looking for some different ways of seeing it.

If you got this far, thanks for reading and, in advance, for the input.
 
Surprisingly normie looking midwestern trailer trash instead of the usual dangerhair soy configuration.

RMOf2Qql.jpg

Screenshot_20191228-115437~2.png
 
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76LD910 said:
Sorry if I missed this later in the thread, but I recently decided to go through it from the beginning and I've been checking up on some of the people that have been featured here and this guys situation seems to have taken a interesting turn as of a few months back: his wife has decided after 15 years of open marriage that she would be happier in a monogamous relationship .....

Social Recognition Of Being A Couple

This is a little bit of an update, current events and request for input all rolled into one.

Brief background: Married 26 years, open 16, trending toward poly for a couple of years. Wife met bf 8 months ago. He’s mono and she thinks maybe she can’t be poly because it has been hard to have two relationships. We’ve discussed separation and divorce. She says she can’t have sex with two men and asked to stop wearing our wedding rings about 3 weeks ago. Neither of us seem to want to walk away, but she doesn’t want to be married right now, so we are trying to find our way to the middle. I have two relationships, one LDR and one local I met through mutual friends. I really adore them both, but I miss being a “couple” and I’m not feeling “in love” with either of them.

Currently: Several months ago when things were somewhat better and more optimistic, we planned a vacation to an exotic place for the four of us (wife, bf, me and my LDR partner). We are now on said vacation together. Knowing what I know - she’s not “in love” with me “right now”, we don’t have sex with one another, we aren’t wearing wedding rings, and she doesn’t want to be married - I have a hard time seeing her and bf together. After many years of not being jealous, I’m jealous of every couple I see, particularly them. They are cute together and I want to be happy for her. But, given the circumstances, it’s very hard.

I’m interested in perspectives about the perception I have that, if our relationship isn’t committed, married, intimate and “forever”, it somehow is perceived as less valuable compared to other relationships. I have this constant social anxiety that people see her with him and think their relationship is her primary relationship. In a huge way (they have sex and we don’t) he is her primary, although I support us, we raised children together, and have lived together 29 years. I have a relationship with my LDR partner I brought but I know I still very much love my wife, so I don’t see my relationship with my LDR as a public display of commitment that devalues my marriage.

I can’t get over the anxiety and am looking for some different ways of seeing it.

If you got this far, thanks for reading and, in advance, for the input.
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this is good, thanks for posting. I’d be interested in more updates if you find any worth sharing.

the wife flashes her tits at bars. the new guy looks a lot younger than her.
 
MakeItRain said:
Lol at the fully clothed unfuckable one on the very end
View attachment 1072125
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I didn't know that they made beds that large.

These poly people, in general, should develop some other interests except fucking and constant drama. These are younger, fit folks in the picture so they might grow out of it. But for the ones who are graying and/or obese with multiple kids, living in the sticks, I'm not holding onto much hope.

Regardless, their lifestyle is unsanitary and perverse.
 
DumbDude42 said:
there is something really off about this whole story
husband working full time, wife working full time (multiple jobs even), and he still has to 'juggle finances to avoid bankruptcy'? how does that even happen?
Click to expand...
When my dad started selling cars in the 90's he was amazed at how many people with a $250K+/year job had totally shit credit and asked his manager what was up. His manager told him "they spend $350K+/year".

On the other hand, best case scenario is the guy tried to start a business and flopped.
 
neverendingmidi said:
When my dad started selling cars in the 90's he was amazed at how many people with a $250K+/year job had totally shit credit and asked his manager what was up. His manager told him "they spend $350K+/year".

On the other hand, best case scenario is the guy tried to start a business and flopped.
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Your dad's manager is correct.

People live above their means. Usually what gets them (IMHO) is their bad habits. Like instead of enjoying a beer or two, they take up Champaigne. They gain an appreciation for cognac, which turns into top shelf cognac. They trade in a perfectly functioning car, for a newer model. They develop a fetish for name-brand shoes and handbags. If they smoke, they upgrade. And when they find themselves in the hole, they take up an expensive drug habit ...

Then the handbags and the shoes and car turn shabby and the booze gets downgraded but the drug and smoking habits stick.

Although we don't have all the facts, this guy is support 3 adults and two kids. Unless, of course, the girlfriend is working.

The OP is burnt out, because her husband and his girlfriend have a parasitic lifestyle.
 
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