Polyamory General - Polyamory drama from Facebook, Reddit, and more

[Buer]

The forst gay male couple to adopt in the UK? They've now divorced because one of them is now fucking one of their children's exes. I wish I was fucking making this up, What sort of creature goes for their teen kids sloppy seconds????


Apparently, Saffron, the ex girlfriend of the boy involved has "given her blessing". Some people might go "aaaawww, so cute!!" but to me all that says is the fucking degeneracy has been passed down to her. Utterly disgusting, the nerve and gall of these grotesque beings knows no limits. The fact they went to the press is even worse.

Idk she might be saying that to save face and prob hates that parent's guts. It takes a really low level of empathy to not realize how fucked up that is.

 

[Coffee Druid]

You know, I was reading a manga awhile back and though it wasn't a main part of the story the main character found out that her single dad had been seeing someone for over a year and she wasn't aware. It wasn't done out of secrecy, just because the dad didn't want to confuse and make things awkward for his daughter until he knew his relationship was strong enough to want to get married. I feel like that's at least a better option than having a parent have new people over to your house constantly for hookups. I had a friend with a mom like that and while she wasn't abused or anything, she struggled with relationships for a bit as an adult.

depends on the situation really
the 'winner' is usually the person who wants to open the relationship in the first place because that one usually has some prospective fuckbuddy lined up and ready to go in advance, and the other partner often isn't all that interested in going out dating again

but yes in general women tend to have an easier time looking for hookups than men

I do think the winner is the one who wants to open the relationship. They selfishly want to bang more people while the monogamous partner is stuck feeling like shit and wouldn't have wanted to find another partner to begin with.

I have a sneaking suspicion he won't go down on his wife and he's unforgivably bad at sex. I noticed he did not mention anything about "I asked my wife why she won't fuck me, and this is what she said."

There has go to be something going on that killed the bedroom, which he's avoiding. Maybe he let himself go and is fat now. Maybe his hygiene has gotten awful. Maybe he makes no effort to be sexy and fashionable. Maybe he doesn't take his wife out on dates. Maybe his wife is depressed. Maybe his kinks are disgusting. Whatever it is, he didn't "learn" he's poly. He came to the conclusion poly might be good because the bedroom is dead and he wants sex.

Spoiler: PL

That hits close to home. I mentioned someone like that pages ago. Slacked on hygiene. Didn't seem to realize that bedroom time meant helping a woman feel good too. No idea what foreplay was. Let himself go in terms of weight. Claimed to know how depression felt but then got angry at me when I had depressive moments and would always leave me on read but didn't understand why I never texted him much. When he proposed an open relationship at the start of us going serious it felt like a fucking joke. He was shit with one woman, how did he think he would attract and keep another one? People like that are baffling. They never work on themselves but think they are perfect.

 

[Bad Take Crucifier]

@Coffee Druid Not all men are trash, but definitely that guy. Sadly, I've seen a lot of women who end up with some narcissist type "man" who doesn't realize women have needs. Said men conclude the "solution" to their GF's having-needs "problem" must be to find another woman who has less needs. (which never works and never happens, they just get continually dumped)

Usually those guys are the unmarried semi-employed, barfly college-dropout types by 40 who never shut the fuck up about how no one understands them. A lucky few even achieve a full police record for domestic abuse!

 

[Coffee Druid]

@Coffee Druid Not all men are trash, but definitely that guy. Sadly, I've seen a lot of women who end up with some narcissist type "man" who doesn't realize women have needs. Said men conclude the "solution" to their GF's having-needs "problem" must be to find another woman who has less needs. (which never works and never happens, they just get continually dumped)

Usually those guys are the unmarried semi-employed, barfly college-dropout types by 40 who never shut the fuck up about how no one understands them. A lucky few even achieve a full police record for domestic abuse!

Oh, I know now. That was several years ago, and I ended up taking time out of the dating scene and tried working on myself/my hobbies and making friends. At least now I know what red flags to look out for.

Like, I'm not 100% anti-poly for other people if they truly make it work and care about each other. It's just...almost nonexistent. I think a closed triad sort of relationship (without kids in the picture) has the better chance of working out compared to open types. At least from what I've seen of other people. I will never do it myself; if I want a lot of people to (platonically) love I have friends for that. The more I read about poly, the more I figure that 99% of people in the scene have personality problems or commitment issues.

 

[NoReturn]

ashamed about being gay since I graduated high school in the mid 00s.

Don't be ashamed about who you want to fuck just because of this shit. That's like being ashamed of where you happen to live just because meth-head hobos are camping under the interstate.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Oh, I know now. That was several years ago, and I ended up taking time out of the dating scene and tried working on myself/my hobbies and making friends. At least now I know what red flags to look out for.

Like, I'm not 100% anti-poly for other people if they truly make it work and care about each other. It's just...almost nonexistent. I think a closed triad sort of relationship (without kids in the picture) has the better chance of working out compared to open types. At least from what I've seen of other people. I will never do it myself; if I want a lot of people to (platonically) love I have friends for that. The more I read about poly, the more I figure that 99% of people in the scene have personality problems or commitment issues.

From what I've seen of it- friends who have fallen into it- a large part is also being too scared and immature to countenance the idea of being alone. People who are poly like to have a back up if things don't work out. Which I guess further removes any incentive not to be a terrible partner.

It annoys me because polyandry and polygamy are non white in origin mostly. Like there's other cultures what practise it be sure it's been part of their society for a long time and it mostly works for them.

But these morons from a western society appropriate it for their own stupid, petty and selfish ends. Given the tendency for people who like poly to be raging SJWtards, their mental blind spot for their own "cultural appropriation" really pisses me off.

I had a friend who I found out was super into it. He had a "partner" but was also seeing a woman- a blue haired, abrasive, shrill, "I'm a vegan because I'm a feminist and it's payytreeeearkeeee to use animals for milk and meat!!!!", "China and the CCP are amazing" type.


The main reason I stopped having anything to do with him was he was falling into that mindset himself, but also, k found out he would often go to this woman's house, and her "nesting partner" would look after her 8 year old kid- goes without saying it wasn't the "nesting partners" kid, but another man's child- downstairs while my former friend would fuck the kids mum upstairs in her and her partner's bed.

It really bothered me and filled me with revulsion, knowing that, to the point where I could not look at him.

 

[DumbDude42]

It annoys me because polyandry and polygamy are non white in origin mostly. Like there's other cultures what practise it be sure it's been part of their society for a long time and it mostly works for them.

polygyny exists in hyper patriarchal cultures and is extremely nasty. basically it's the incel meme about 1 chad getting with 10 women while 9 betas are doomed to be forever alone, codified into law and officially endorsed. works only if you can either create an oversupply of women (by raiding and enslaving other cultures) or if you can continuously cull large part of the young male population (by sending them off to die in war)
in an actual peaceful state this system results in extreme buildup of social tensions because it by design creates a huge underclass of angry incels with nothing to live for.

polyandry, im not aware of existing in any major culture at all. isolated uncontacted rainforest or island tribes maybe? but nothing significant

 

[Fliddaroonie]

polygyny exists in hyper patriarchal cultures and is extremely nasty. basically it's the incel meme about 1 chad getting with 10 women while 9 betas are doomed to be forever alone, codified into law and officially endorsed. works only if you can either create an oversupply of women (by raiding and enslaving other cultures) or if you can continuously cull large part of the young male population (by sending them off to die in war)
in an actual peaceful state this system results in extreme buildup of social tensions because it by design creates a huge underclass of angry incels with nothing to live for.

polyandry, im not aware of existing in any major culture at all. isolated uncontacted rainforest or island tribes maybe? but nothing significant

Aaah, I stand corrected then. I remember reading, way back, about how polyandry was used in the Himilayas and places like that, as it means the men get their leg over, but a woman can only be pregnant with the one pregnancy at a time, so it's an effective way of not having a population boom in a short time in an area that is otherwise unable to support it.

I grew up LDS and we were never told about Brigham Young, Hyrum and Joseph Smith liking having multiple young wives, though I remember visiting family in Utah, and thinking "goddamn, is everyone related once you get three or four generations back?" and it turns out, yes, because so. many. goddamn. fucking. babies, basically.

I watched a show online, a documentary about polygamy in the FLDS. And most of the marriages and people in them gave me real uncanny valley vibes. But there was one man with his two "wives", and their whole body language with each other, the way they were sitting and standing near each other, just came across as very, very natural and loving and affectionate. In all the experience I have of seeing all of it, be it religious polyamory or not, that one group is the only one I have ever seen who looked happy and comfortable with each other. There was one scene where the main wife and husband were sitting on one side, with the wife in the middle, and the other wife on the other side. And they were all just relaxing and talking, the first wife had her hand on the seconds foot and was rubbing it, and it sounds inarticulate, but they all just looked very natural and happy and genuinely comfortable with each other.



But given that is the sole and only example I can think of where I've seen an even remotely happy and okay set up like that, I think it's fair to say, anecdotally at least, I regard it all as a complete and utter goddamn bust.

 

[Fapcop]

CUCKED HUSBAND GETS SUPERCUCKED!




He’s a cuckold who’s been married for ten years, but suddenly his “hotwife” has apparently fallen in love with a bull, and have upgraded him to boyfriend.

But he’s so excited for her guise!

SO EXCITED!

I’ve hung around a few cuckold forums because of a weird fascination I have with cucks, and I’ve seen this story before...

The husband fades away in importance as the wife spends more and more time with her boyfriend. Until the boyfriend decides that he isn’t really happy with sharing, and the wife promptly drops her “hotwifing” ways, moves in with the BF (soon to be new husband) and divorces the poor cuck.

The worst part: He’ll sit alone in his apartment in a year from now, and in between posting cuckold-fapfictions online, furiously masturbate to how fucking hot it was to lose his wife.

These people are incorrigible and broken.

 

[NoReturn]

And they were all just relaxing and talking, the first wife had her hand on the seconds foot and was rubbing it, and it sounds inarticulate, but they all just looked very natural and happy and genuinely comfortable with each other.

The Mormons are weirdos, but I have to admit they do a lot of things right and their rules and shit work really well for the people they work for. I can believe polygamy working well for some of them because I've seen the modern church work well for the non-polygamous ones.

 

[Fapcop]

polygyny exists in hyper patriarchal cultures and is extremely nasty. basically it's the incel meme about 1 chad getting with 10 women while 9 betas are doomed to be forever alone, codified into law and officially endorsed. works only if you can either create an oversupply of women (by raiding and enslaving other cultures) or if you can continuously cull large part of the young male population (by sending them off to die in war)
in an actual peaceful state this system results in extreme buildup of social tensions because it by design creates a huge underclass of angry incels with nothing to live for.

polyandry, im not aware of existing in any major culture at all. isolated uncontacted rainforest or island tribes maybe? but nothing significant

I think the only place polyandry exists, is in the imaginations of radical feminists and loony Cultural Marxists, who imagine some communist paradise without “toxic masculinity” (or masculinity of any kind).

As for Polygyny it exists in Africa and some Muslim countries. Usually each wife has her own house/household instead of some communal mansion and the husband then moves around.

It’s usually the province of the rich: Poor schlobs get one wife (the really poor get zero, lol!) and the richer you are the more wives you have.

It kinda, sorta makes sense in societies where marriage is still has a practical, social role (as in: alliances between families/tribes) and where there isn’t strong social services.

Polygyny kinda functions as poverty insurance: A widow with children or older widow isn’t totally screwed when her husband dies, since she can remarry an older man/relative of her husband who’ll then take care of her.

(The ol’ caravan robber and part time prophet Muhammad supposedly did this, and him marrying a middleaged woman is sometimes hauled out as a good example to follow)

In real practice, it seems to be more of a way for an old Sheikh to marry a hot, young wife though.


As for (old school) Mormons, I think they usually do it slightly differently and actually all live together with several wives at a time, no?

Meh, seems to work for them I guess. Personally I think it sounds pretty fucking exhausting.

 

[Dante Alighieri]

The Mormons are weirdos, but I have to admit they do a lot of things right and their rules and shit work really well for the people they work for. I can believe polygamy working well for some of them because I've seen the modern church work well for the non-polygamous ones.

The reasoning behind polygamy in the early church was because there were more women than men due to the extermination order and other attacks, and the only way to the presence of God is to be married within a temple, so to help all those women they can get married to a handful of the more able (to support them materially) men.

The only ones doing polygamy now are offshoots and "unofficial" sects.

 

[NoReturn]

As for (old school) Mormons, I think they usually do it slightly differently and actually all live together with several wives at a time, no?

Yep. The ones in Colorado City (note: Not in Colorado the state) use the "one big house" method combined with the "powerful men get multiple wives" bit. The younger men are seen as competition and get kicked out when they come of age: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lost_boys_(Mormon_fundamentalism)
+ interesting video

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

Polyandry does exist, but it's typically only seen in people who live in very harsh climates. Arctic tribes, people in the Himalayas, the very snowy mountainous regions of China, Pre-Islamic Arabia and a few places in Africa. Typically places where it has traditionally been hard for children to survive to adulthood, and having multiple men (almost always brothers) and their resources was the only way to insure 5/6th or higher of your progeny don't die.

 

[Coffee Druid]

Polygyny is a rather interesting phenomenon. I've only really heard of one or two cases of polyandry but I'd count that too. Personally, the idea repulses me but that may be because in history (heck, even today) those are often arranged and in some cases decided for the partners from a very young age. Arranged marriages are a bit off topic so I won't delve too much into my opinions on them though. Also, it just rubs me the wrong way when one spouse (usually the husband but can be either) acts as the supreme head of the house over the other submissive ones, as is often with polygamy guided by religious ideologies. Just not my thing.

But personally I find polygamy to be a different beast than polyamory in function. In some instances, like mentioned above, I suppose there are polygamous groups that all like each other intimately. But it's kind of like a one-sided poly relationship where the dude married all your "metamours". I doubt the wives are bi and/or interested in each other that way. That might be too "sinful" for religious polygynous marriages you know? I've never been around really fundamentalist religious types in my life though. Polyamory, (at least in it's more "ideal" form, most people don't live up to it), seems to be more an equitable relationship style.

But, it does remind me of some side characters from a manga called "A Bride's Story".

Spoiler: Maybe off topic

It's set in Central Asia in the 1800s and with that title and place it of course goes into arranged marriages of several different cultures in that region. It's actually pretty slice of life and charming even if it's not my cup of tea. But with one couple, the wife becomes really close friends with another woman. They both have a "sister ceremony" that is basically a platonic "partnership" between two ladies. I trust the author's research enough that it may be an actual thing somewhere. Eventually the friend's husband dies so in order to keep the friend and her parents from being in poverty the wife gets her husband to marry the friend. In that situation they all like each other. I don't know where I'm going with this but that situation I can respect. Not some dude who marries a bunch of women he can lord over and pop out kids for him. I guess it was more understandable in the distant past because more wives=more kids so more chance of them living to adulthood and passing your line on but still.

 

[NoReturn]

Polyandry does exist, but it's typically only seen in people who live in very harsh climates. Arctic tribes, people in the Himalayas, the very snowy mountainous regions of China, Pre-Islamic Arabia and a few places in Africa. Typically places where it has traditionally been hard for children to survive to adulthood, and having multiple men (almost always brothers) and their resources was the only way to insure 5/6th or higher of your progeny don't die.

iirc in cases of polyandry it's often brothers as well. It keeps things "in the family" so there's less competition and resentment about "another man's child" if it's just your niece or nephew.

 

[Coffee Druid]

iirc in cases of polyandry it's often brothers as well. It keeps things "in the family" so there's less competition and resentment about "another man's child" if it's just your niece or nephew.

Reminds me of some cultures who, if a woman's husband dies, she'll then naturally marry his brother/uncle/etc. Not really polyandry but still. Actually, that manga I mentioned also has an example of that. One lady had a husband and three of his brothers die each time she married them (not actually her fault, surprisingly).

 

[SssneakySssnek]

CUCKED HUSBAND GETS SUPERCUCKED!

View attachment 1591680
View attachment 1591679

He’s a cuckold who’s been married for ten years, but suddenly his “hotwife” has apparently fallen in love with a bull, and have upgraded him to boyfriend.

But he’s so excited for her guise!

SO EXCITED!

I’ve hung around a few cuckold forums because of a weird fascination I have with cucks, and I’ve seen this story before...

The husband fades away in importance as the wife spends more and more time with her boyfriend. Until the boyfriend decides that he isn’t really happy with sharing, and the wife promptly drops her “hotwifing” ways, moves in with the BF (soon to be new husband) and divorces the poor cuck.

The worst part: He’ll sit alone in his apartment in a year from now, and in between posting cuckold-fapfictions online, furiously masturbate to how fucking hot it was to lose his wife.

These people are incorrigible and broken.

"We've been non-monogamous from the beginning...on her side....I just kind of kept to myself....now she's still doing it. why do I feel weird" lol these retards need to just finish castrating themselves. How do they always consistently manage to convince themselves it was actually their choice and they want it? It's astounding.

I'm surprised by your analysis though, does it usually lead to divorce? I would assume she would just devote all her love and attention and the new boyfriend while using the husband as an emotional tampon and to do whatever she wants on a day-to-day basis. Because it's not like HE would leave her. Then maybe years down the road finally kick him out, or replace the boyfriend with a new boyfriend and leave the dried up cuck in his position as housemaker

 

[AprilRains]

I'm surprised by your analysis though, does it usually lead to divorce? I would assume she would just devote all her love and attention and the new boyfriend while using the husband as a wallet with a pulse.

Fixed

 

[Fliddaroonie]

The Mormons are weirdos, but I have to admit they do a lot of things right and their rules and shit work really well for the people they work for. I can believe polygamy working well for some of them because I've seen the modern church work well for the non-polygamous ones.

I agree. I picked up life lessons from the Church that have stood me in excellent stead as an adult, for sure. I'm not sold on polygamy, and I no longer practise in the Church but there's a lot you learn about life in general that is a real help, specially these days.