Post an Outrageously Defamatory Lie About the Person Above You - It can't even be remotely true, either.

[GS 281]

 

[glass_houses]

Has a pack of Lebs on permanent retainer for 24 hour surveillance on Phil. They are tasked with following him around covertly and filming his every move, unmove, action, non-action, snort, huff, flatulence and clink of unused sex toy. They place hidden cameras in every favourite haunt and bolt hole. They seed skips with rare cheeses and hams, carefully placed on top of medical waste, asbestos powder, and rotting human cadavers stolen from defunct funeral homes. Samples of Phil's hair, phlegm, smegma, urine, faeces are obsessively collected, packed in dry ice for shipment to a high security, technically advanced storage facility. Of special value are the high resolution recordings of Phil getting his back shaved.

All of this is because of the pharmacutical industry's biggest secret: Viagra. While Viagra is registered as an inorganic, artificially synthesised chemical, in reality it's derived from the refined concentrated sexual fluids of just one person in the world, and the constant mastication of his waste and viewing of surveillance footage keeps the disgusting and vile individual above in a state of sexual excitement. Fitted with hoses to his penis to catch every drop of precious fluid, surrounded by technicians and scientists who are not longer psychologically able to eat and who rely on feeding tube to supply the vital nutrients they need to live, as the sight and smell of the various kinds of media that their cash cow needs to keep producing its precious mik have destroyed their minds and stricken them with a life long phobia of placing anything in their mouths, ever.
A billion dollar industry is built around one deviant's sexual attraction to the vile creature that is Phil.

You are the only person in the world who is more disgusting than Phil. You should be ashamed. Aaaaaashaaaaaamed!

 

[TwinkleSnort]

Never uses profanity IRL, but is a master of the indignant squeak.

 

[Ntwadumela]

Isn't contributing to the hole in the Ozone Layer getting bigger at all.

 

[AnOminous]

Isn't contributing to the hole in the Ozone Layer getting bigger at all.

Eats bacon and pork chops every day, and washes them down with horrifyingly sweet Manischewitz wine.

 

[TwinkleSnort]

Eats bacon and pork chops every day, and washes them down with horrifyingly sweet Manischewitz wine.

Isn't really as AnOminous as one would think, and is, in fact, secretly Chuck Barris (formerly of The Gong Show, currently in Witness Protection and NOT really dead.)

 

[Mr. Fister]

Is my sister

 

[TwinkleSnort]

Tastes like chicken.

 

[Ntwadumela]

Is a better choice for nutrition than chicken

 

[Krispum Western Chumbler]

Faggot can't keep a job. Smells like radishes.

 

[Zarkov]

Once tried to commit suicide by putting a gun in his mouth, but collapsed from exhaustion after three days without eating because he never figured out he had to pull the trigger.

 

[HY 140]

helped out in 9/11, they flew the first plane into the towers

 

[doubledigitgendergap]

Cured cancer by deleting his account

 

[Zeorus]

Gave us all cancer by registering one.

 

[HY 140]

looking for the cure for cancer

 

[Pepito The Cat]

dicaprio organizes sexual parties for a small group of necro-zoo-pedofiles every couple of saturdays at a trailer park outside Denver.

 

[doubledigitgendergap]

fought for civil rights

 

[TwinkleSnort]

Actually prefers Eeyore, but thinks Pooh is more poohpular.

 

[Somar]

Has a cow udder fetish.

 

[TwinkleSnort]

Believes in The Great Pumpkin.