post embarrassing things about yourself

[Charred Dinosaur]

My retarded brand of autism for some reason has left me physically unable to speak the accent of the country I was born and raised to the point where throughout my life I have had people ask me if I'm American...

Spoiler

And despite that somehow I am able to do a flawless Southern accent, despite the fact I have never even visited Dixieland

 

[Hellwalker]

I was going to reply with "I post on Kiwi Farms" but the first reply to this thread was that so I guess to compensate, I think of jokes that have already been made a lot of the time.

 

[Jesters]

I once bought a milkshake from a burger joint I frequented, walked out, slipped and dropped it in plain view of everybody. I walked back in to buy another.

I also once accidentally took a swig of my own piss. I did not swallow it. I immediately brushed my mouth with burning hot water for like 10 minutes straight after. I will not elaborate on how it happened.

 

[Rekeita's Kidneys]

I'm a loser.

 

[polaris_VII]

you know how bpd bitches love hello kitty as some "comfort" thing? im like that but with pigs

 

[Tsukasa Kadoya]

As a kid I smeared sour cream on a piece of cherry pie because my dumb ass thought it was whipped cream. They looked the same, hence my mistake. Plus I was like 6.
My dad forced me to eat the whole thing as a learning experience lol

 

[Troonfag Gayop]

I pick my nose sometimes.