Well, even if you don't plan on making any changes I still think it would be helpful if I point out some stuff I notice. I'm not gonna pretend to be an expert here, this is just advice from one hobbyist to another.
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So the main issue I feel is the positioning of the arms. They look like they're splayed out very far forward, as if she's putting her hands on her hips. With a "hands in pockets" pose from this angle, the right (back) arm should really be barely visible, most of it would be covered up by the body. In the original, this causes two clashing perspectives; her body and legs are viewed "at an angle from the left" while her jacket and arms are viewed "mostly from the front". Also note that on my rough sketch I add in a lot of lines that won't actually end up in the final product to give myself a better idea of the 3D form and contours, which will help with refining the anatomy and also with shading later.
For the coat itself, the geometry in the front of the leg just looks off (as I already mentioned). I couldn't figure out how it SHOULD look if it were in front of her leg, but if I were redrawing this I'd just keep it flapping upwards symmetrically with the left side. The jacket is also off-center with the torso - her belly button/cleavage should be more or less centered between the two sides (accounting for perspective of course). And of course, with the right shoulder being brought down, the shape of the scarf at the neck needs to be changed as well.
In the future, this kind of basic anatomy stuff can be solved by just using a reference instead of trying to draw what you
think a pose should look like from memory. I just searched "person with hand in coat pocket" and got the following picture, which seems to be the pose you were trying to draw. Doesn't matter that it's of a guy and you're drawing a girl, the reference still gives you a pretty good idea of what should be visible at this angle and how different body parts should be oriented. Why waste time redrawing the whole thing to fix fundamental geometry issues that could've been prevented by just looking up a reference? To learn to draw poses from memory, drawing them from reference first is pretty much a requirement. Can't run before you learn to walk.
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Anyway, I hope that breakdown is intelligible and helpful, it's my first time doing a writeup like this. If there's one thing to take away from this, it's that the first step to learning to draw without a reference is to learn to draw with references, and I will never stop harping on this point. This advice is especially applicable toward the last sketch you posted - that angle is an incredibly difficult angle to draw a head at, and heads are kinda difficult to draw to begin with even from "easy" front-facing angles. First step is to find pictures of real people doing similar poses (see below...) which will give you a better idea of the shape of the head and the positioning of the facial features, then try to replicate that before making variations.
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