Post your run ins with federal agencies without powerleveling too much

[Melktert]

Basically just tell me any stories of run ins with federal law enforcement or administrative agencies (including regulatory ones). anything funny, interesting, or autistic goes.

I'll start.

when i was 15 i was a mega-faggot tankie with internet access. Basically i posted some gay shit about how i wanted to commit violent acts, and i was of course too dumb to use a VPN. Basically someone reported me (i am forever grateful to them), reddit saw that it was inciting violence, so they reported it to the FBI. 2 weeks later while i'm at a summer camp the FBI shows up at my parent's house. my parents, being foreign, are extremely scared and don't understand the constitution very well, so they basically give up their rights and spill a bunch of shit about me. i get home on saturday, the next day the feds are at my house to talk to me (parents set up a meeting). The thing about glowniggers is that they have a very particular look, (think young lawyer, souless), and they talk to you very strangely. they were fishing for info and i kinda spilled the beans about the retards i talked with on discord and reddit. basically they gave me a warning and told me they'd be watching.

suffice to say it scared me, but looking back it was kinda just retarded since i didn't really say anything illegal.

also yes they were definitely glowies, they showed me their badge and had more than just my address. they had text transcripts, photo id and passport photos, social security number, everything.

yeah i'm probably on a watchlist. i don't care though, feds can suck my cock.

TL;DR: don't incite violence on normie websites without a VPN and burner account.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

So I was driving at night back in 1999....

 

[break these cuffs]

I approve of this thread.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

I would be here until I die if I posted every single one of them.

 

[Aidan]

I know a lot of people who work for the feds. Good money but it's working with the devil in many cases imo.
Idk about everywhere else but in the US you gotta be aware that you're a few warrants away from everything you've posted on whatever website being used against you by the feds if you don't take precautions.

I once had to sign a paper to do something where I consented to my internet traffic being monitored for a certain amount of time. I thought it was just ruffling of feathers until another guy got called out for pirating when he agreed not to and he confirmed they knew what he downloaded.

 

[Baguette Child]

Spent two weeks in federal holding during immigrations process because reasons. The officers were generally polite and, quite honestly, the food wasn't total shit. Nothing I'd pay for sure but it didn't suck too much.

 

[SiccDicc]

I went to the post office. It was okay.

 

[Melktert]

I would be here until I die if I posted every single one of them.

post 5 or gay

 

[Megaroad 2012]

when i was 15 i was a mega-faggot tankie with internet access.

As opposed to 16 mega faggot?

 

[Weebsperg]

I work in a blue collar field, on occasion OSHA will come in and inspect the jobsite for safety. One of these times the inspector pulled out a feeler gauge and checks the gap on our grinding wheel. Says that there is too much space between the wheel and the guard and fined the business. I've also seen guys get fines for not wearing steel toe boots, wearing shorts in the summer and not having safety glasses on. It's a bunch of bs to make extra money off the working man.

 

[Melktert]

I work in a blue collar field, on occasion OSHA will come in and inspect the jobsite for safety. One of these times the inspector pulled out a feeler gauge and checks the gap on our grinding wheel. Says that there is too much space between the wheel and the guard and fined the business. I've also seen guys get fines for not wearing steel toe boots, wearing shorts in the summer and not having safety glasses on. It's a bunch of bs to make extra money off the working man.

the Regulator fears the steel-toed croc worker

 

[Distant Stare]

I have almost been raided and searched once. I have had visits from the FBI, some shitty local anti-terrorist group, postmaster, and DEA. They are all enormously incompetent. They will come knock on your door if you buy two normally useful chemicals, but will not talk to you if you are throwing bombs at a "peaceful protest".

I am interested in chemistry, and have been making pyrotechnics for almost a decade. During one search, some idiot cop walked past a container of picric acid, and did not know it. Not that it was illegal, but still they should have noticed a common explosive procurer. People have no idea how stupid most feds are. They are not NCIS from TV, they are 80 IQ niggers in blue uniforms.

The worst part about these federal niggers is that they will treat you like a criminal despite never breaking a law. I never broke any laws, but because of their glow faggotry they could still be a pain in my ass. People I know constantly get audited by the ATF. They can ram rod your ass if some fat lard ball at headquarters decides to.

Fuck glow niggers
Fuck glow niggers
Fuck glow niggers
Fuck glow niggers

 

[Aidan]

I work in a blue collar field, on occasion OSHA will come in and inspect the jobsite for safety. One of these times the inspector pulled out a feeler gauge and checks the gap on our grinding wheel. Says that there is too much space between the wheel and the guard and fined the business. I've also seen guys get fines for not wearing steel toe boots, wearing shorts in the summer and not having safety glasses on. It's a bunch of bs to make extra money off the working man.

OSHA knows best and they probably saved your life 500 times that day and you don't even realize it. Your life is worth a few fines here and there.

 

[Medical Hawaii]

I once killed a man in his sleep with his own mustache and a grape

 

[Coleslaw]

Wait so you're an Afrikaner American?

 

[Twinkie]

 

[Melktert]

Wait so you're an Afrikaner American?

Yes, an african american (who is white).

get over it, bigot

but seriously, i am an american citizen. born in america, but i lived in south africa for 5 years. thus my accent

 

[Richard Harrow]

When I was stationed in Hawaii years back, the Obamas would visit once a year, every year. I happened to be inside of a local sandwich shop and the Secret Service (Stasi) locked everyone in. Showed my military ID, the bearded giga-chad gave me the finger. Turns out, Michelle Obama was getting her nails done next door and no one could leave until she was done. No mention from MSM. < Some things never change.

 

[J A N D E K]

I’ll take “Blatant Fed Honeypots” for $100, Alex...

 

[Melktert]

When I was stationed in Hawaii years back, the Obamas would visit once a year, every year. I happened to be inside of a local sandwich shop and the Secret Service (Stasi) locked everyone in. Showed my military ID, the bearded giga-chad gave me the finger. Turns out, Michelle Obama was getting her nails done next door and no one could leave until she was done. No mention from MSM. < Some things never change.

Locking innocent people in a store so a nigger can get her flesh-mitts did

yeah sounds about right