Predator 5 announced - Why can't they leave this fucking franchise just rest in peace?

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How the fuck hard is it to make a Predator movie?

Badass dudes are in X location.
Predator shows up to X location and starts killing badass dudes.
Last dude somehow survives and kills Predator in clever way.
Just make sure to build the tension before the first kill, keep the tension up after the first kill, and don't show the Predator any more than you absolutely have to.

Fuck it, I'll make one now. Predator 3 (fuck the AVP movies, and all the other Predator movies besides 1 and 2, this is Predator 3 damnit!)
It's basically the first Predator movie but on a futuristic military spaceship and with something like the United System Military guys from Alien: Resurrection.

Just a Predator on a ship killing space marines for 2 hours. There you go you fucking Hollywood hacks. That wasn't fucking hard. Just make the first movie but with different military dudes in a different location. Stop tryin to make it an action film, Predator was a fucking horror movie.
 
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ExceptionallyExceptional said:
How the fuck hard is it to make a Predator movie?

Badass dudes are in X location.
Predator shows up to X location and starts killing badass dudes.
Last dude somehow survives and kills Predator in clever way.
Just make sure to build the tension before the first kill, keep the tension up after the first kill, and don't show the Predator any more than you absolutely have to.

Fuck it, I'll make one now. Predator 3 (fuck the AVP movies, and all the other Predator movies besides 1 and 2, this is Predator 3 damnit!)
It's basically the first Predator movie but on a futuristic military spaceship and with something like the United System Military guys from Alien: Resurrection.

Just a Predator on a ship killing space marines for 2 hours. There you go you fucking Hollywood hacks. That wasn't fucking hard. Just make the first movie but with different military dudes in a different location. Stop tryin to make it an action film, Predator was a fucking horror movie.
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https://boundingintocomics.com/2021...ants-to-prove-herself-in-the-masculine-world/

Now that I think about it, the answer to your question (and something I just realized) is easy. It's Disney.
 
verissimus said:
https://boundingintocomics.com/2021...ants-to-prove-herself-in-the-masculine-world/

Now that I think about it, the answer to your question (and something I just realized) is easy. It's Disney.
Click to expand...
>New Predator 5 Details Reveal Main Character “Wants To Prove Herself In The Masculine World”

Oh god. Please, god. No. Oh god. No. Everything but this.

>“The film will follow a Comanche woman who [defies] her culture’s norms and decides to become a warrior.”
>She will be named Kee, which means “no” in Comanche.
>The casting call for Kee begins, “KEE Female; 19 years old; Comanche. Her name, “Kee”, means “no” in Comanche. A name she has earned by perpetually refusing to do as she is told her entire life.”
>“Kee is very close to her younger brother, Taabe, who is being groomed as a leader. As capable as any young man in the tribe, Kee has always been a teacher and source of inspiration for Taabe.”
>Kee is a truth teller and has insight that others do not. A tomboy, she wants to prove herself in the masculine world of the Comanche.
>The casting call also includes a synopsis for the film. It reads, “Many years ago – in a time before any Europeans had ever encroached on their lands – the Comanche people had a well defined society and gender norms. [Predator 5] is the story of what happens when one young woman challenges the status quo to become a warrior.”

I don't even know what to say. This made me physically ill reading it. It's going to be a dumpster fire and anyone not kissing its feet will be deemed a nazi or misogynist. Again. Like with every other lame movie in the past 5 fucking years. I'm so fucking done with this shit. At least, we got Joker and 1917 somewhat recently, so I know there is someone still out there capable of making good movies, but this is just Fremdscham cranked up to 11.
At least I'll enjoy all the usual suspects to pick this shitfest apart.
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
>New Predator 5 Details Reveal Main Character “Wants To Prove Herself In The Masculine World”

Oh god. Please, god. No. Oh god. No. Everything but this.

>“The film will follow a Comanche woman who [defies] her culture’s norms and decides to become a warrior.”
>She will be named Kee, which means “no” in Comanche.
>The casting call for Kee begins, “KEE Female; 19 years old; Comanche. Her name, “Kee”, means “no” in Comanche. A name she has earned by perpetually refusing to do as she is told her entire life.”
>“Kee is very close to her younger brother, Taabe, who is being groomed as a leader. As capable as any young man in the tribe, Kee has always been a teacher and source of inspiration for Taabe.”
>Kee is a truth teller and has insight that others do not. A tomboy, she wants to prove herself in the masculine world of the Comanche.
>The casting call also includes a synopsis for the film. It reads, “Many years ago – in a time before any Europeans had ever encroached on their lands – the Comanche people had a well defined society and gender norms. [Predator 5] is the story of what happens when one young woman challenges the status quo to become a warrior.”

I don't even know what to say. This made me physically ill reading it. It's going to be a dumpster fire and anyone not kissing its feet will be deemed a nazi or misogynist. Again. Like with every other lame movie in the past 5 fucking years. I'm so fucking done with this shit. At least, we got Joker and 1917 somewhat recently, so I know there is someone still out there capable of making good movies, but this is just Fremdscham cranked up to 11.
At least I'll enjoy all the usual suspects to pick this shitfest apart.
Click to expand...
Wanna bet she'll have autism too, so she can understand the Predators technology.
 
FrickinFrackinFruckin said:
Wanna bet she'll have autism too, so she can understand the Predators technology.
Click to expand...
Going back into pre-colonial US history is most likely their way to cop out of the Ironman-suit ending of the previous movie, so I doubt they'll even address the 'tism thing at all.
But I have little doubt that REE is going to teach the Predators the wonders of feminism one way or the other.
5 bucks say she'll somehow lay the foundation for Arnold's triumph in the first movie by doing something that ties into that movie.
 
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Injuns massacred by a Predator who will 100% be an avatar for whitey? Surely this racist propaganda will not be made even though the stronk native wahman will prevail in the end
 
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The Nothingness said:
It reminds me of the later Hellraiser installments that were first written as a generic horror movies but were rewritten to include Pinhead so Dimension Films could retain the IP.
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I'm wondering if there's isn't something similar going on with the Predator rights that they're willing to shit out another one so soon after the trashfire that was the previous movie, because it's either that or they're deliberately trying to lose money on purpose, seriously they can't be so stupid as to think this is going to be anything other than a massive financial failure.
 
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RomanesEuntDomus said:
>The casting call also includes a synopsis for the film. It reads, “Many years ago – in a time before any Europeans had ever encroached on their lands – the Comanche people had a well defined society and gender norms. [Predator 5] is the story of what happens when one young woman challenges the status quo to become a warrior.”
Click to expand...
I thought a Predator movie was supposed to be about an alien hunter from outer space. Not some coming of age drama.
 
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ExceptionallyExceptional said:
How the fuck hard is it to make a Predator movie?

Badass dudes are in X location.
Predator shows up to X location and starts killing badass dudes.
Last dude somehow survives and kills Predator in clever way.
Just make sure to build the tension before the first kill, keep the tension up after the first kill, and don't show the Predator any more than you absolutely have to.

Fuck it, I'll make one now. Predator 3 (fuck the AVP movies, and all the other Predator movies besides 1 and 2, this is Predator 3 damnit!)
It's basically the first Predator movie but on a futuristic military spaceship and with something like the United System Military guys from Alien: Resurrection.

Just a Predator on a ship killing space marines for 2 hours. There you go you fucking Hollywood hacks. That wasn't fucking hard. Just make the first movie but with different military dudes in a different location. Stop tryin to make it an action film, Predator was a fucking horror movie.
Click to expand...
The best thing about Predator is that you can set the story anywhere in time that you want. 1980s, [current year], medieval times... hell, why not at the peak of Aztec civilization?
 
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DapperShark said:
I'm wondering if there's isn't something similar going on with the Predator rights that they're willing to shit out another one so soon after the trashfire that was the previous movie, because it's either that or they're deliberately trying to lose money on purpose, seriously they can't be so stupid as to think this is going to be anything other than a massive financial failure.
Click to expand...
Some people claim that studios do this for tax breaks... I would be willing to buy that with any other studio, but Disney has been doing this shit so many times, I barely understand what the fuck their goal is. Have Marvel movies made so much dosh, they shit out shitty movie after shitty movie deliberately to have enough failures to avoid paying tax for their Marvel cashcows?
If that was their big idea, they'd not use their expensive franchises for that and make movies that are way less costly (even if it's a kickback for some movie maker that doubles as a tax break scam).

I genuinely think someone at Disney believes this is a valid way to make money - and some people are just giddy to take away things from a white male audience and turning it into a travesty that appeals to no one.

Really makes me wonder. Autogynophilia is the fetish of dudes pretending to be women and getting other dudes to have sex with them, which leads to many a tranny lolcow. Maybe there's a subset of people who have an autistic version of that, where the thing whoring itself out in the skinsuit of a woman is not the person itself, but rather a movie, comic or videogame?
One thing's for certain, it's incredibly petty and it happens out of a motivation to destroy things, not to create them...

Strange Wilderness said:
I thought a Predator movie was supposed to be about an alien hunter from outer space. Not some coming of age drama.
Click to expand...
And you'd be wrong, clearly.
Let's be real here, a movie called Predator 5 should go out of its way to not connect to the previous movies on any narrative or thematic base whatsoever. It simply can't be a continuation of previous movies, it can't deliver the same content that we've seen before. That would be silly.

No, the best thing to do with this franchise is to shit out a completely different type of story that sidelines the main conflict of the movie between a 7foot tall alien super-hunter and some human warrior in favor of an uninspired teen-drama wokefest about SHOWING THEM BOYS WHOS QUEEN.

/sarcasm.
 
Miller said:
The best thing about Predator is that you can set the story anywhere in time that you want. 1980s, [current year], medieval times... hell, why not at the peak of Aztec civilization?
Click to expand...
That sounds like the best idea ever. Spanish Conquistadors vs Aztec warriors who have to join forces to fight a Predator hunting them. Have the Spanish arrogantly think they can shoot the Predator with flintlocks before it blasts them straight through their armor and they all crap their pantaloons, while some Aztecs start worshiping the Predator as the ultimate warrior and attempt to offer it a sacrifice. The Predator is so outraged it brutally slaughters them all while sparing the sacrifice. Film ends with a Spaniard using a gunpowder bomb to injure the Predator before an Aztec disembowels the Predator with an obsidian knife and a waterfall of green blood shoots out of the Predators chest.

RomanesEuntDomus said:
And you'd be wrong, clearly.
Let's be real here, a movie called Predator 5 should go out of its way to not connect to the previous movies on any narrative or thematic base whatsoever. It simply can't be a continuation of previous movies, it can't deliver the same content that we've seen before. That would be silly.

No, the best thing to do with this franchise is to shit out a completely different type of story that sidelines the main conflict of the movie between a 7foot tall alien super-hunter and some human warrior in favor of an uninspired teen-drama wokefest about SHOWING THEM BOYS WHOS QUEEN.

/sarcasm.
Click to expand...
Exactly the whole thing sounds like a stupid teen drama instead of the set-up to a Predator movie. I expect that the Predator will show up in the film and our Mary Sue will defeat him but the set-up is the stupidest thing ever. The other Predator movies started out as action films before introducing the Predator so it wasn't too much of a stretch to have veteran commandos and decorated LAPD cops start battling an alien hunter. If I were writing that synopsis I would focus on Native American warriors returning from a hunt or engaging in warfare with another tribe or the Europeans, mentioning that the chiefs daughter leads them in her fathers stead. These are action-horror films first and foremost, not some teen drama about how boys are stinky doo-doo head bullies to STRONK INDEPENDENT RED WOMAN WHO DONT NEED NO MAN
 
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