Professor Cat's Steampunk Spergtime Gallery

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Lipitor said:
I have to admit I'm more of a cyberpunk guy myself. I don't particularly hate steampunk, cyperpunk is just better. But having said that I don't go around identifying as a "cyber punk" (or try to emulate the style in my dress). I think its fine to have these things as aesthetic concepts, but it's when people actually act like they could BE steampunk, etc that it becomes a little ridiculous. Bioshock and Deus Ex are cool games and I appreciate the Steampunk and Cyberpunk influences in both them. But going around Dressed like Andrew Ryan or JC Denton would be a little ridiculous.

It's a thing that can be cool when done right, but pretending it's an identity is just weird.
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The main problem I see with things like Steampunk (not the aestetic used in media and games, but rather the cosplayers and roleplayers who take it to a retarded scale) is when it nostalgizes bygone eras, but only in the vein of how the wealthy lived in that era. Like know what the Victorian era was for most people? It was shit. Fucking shit. Work all day for a loaf of bread a week and die of the black lung by the age of 50, assuming the machinery didn't get you first. And that's if you were in a "civilized" nation. God help you if you were in Russia or Belgian Africa.

The same could be said of Medieval fetishists stuff I'm sure, but it's sorta the fact of how close we are to that era still that sorta sets it apart I suppose. I hope the point I'm making gets through the painkiller addled words I'm typing.
 
The whole genesis of "steampunk" is stupid. A couple SF authors who were previously called "cyberpunk," like Gibson, Sterling, Powers, Jeter, just as a few examples, ended up writing a few things in the Victorian Era, and suddenly the "punk" suffix migrated.

Everyone hated being called "cyberpunk" and "steampunk" is even dumber.

Not that everything that is called that sucks (Difference Engine was pretty good), but the whole turning it into fashion thing was stupid.

Giger did that kind of aesthetic better anyway.
 
The Knife's Husbando said:
I AM CALM! I....

Just kidding.

These people are a personal hatred of mine. As they are to any actual machinist, custom fabricator, antique dealer, or serious gearhead.

True story.

Back in my college days, I had to take a prerequisite "Machine Tool 101" class. All it was, was how to use a basic miller & metal lathe. Tools I had plenty of practical experience on before I even got there. The only project the entire semester was to make an all-metal claw hammer out of a length of 1" square steel stock, and a bit of 1" aluminum round for a handle. I whipped that out in the first class, first day. So every other class, I just basically hung out with the professor & chatted, and occasionally even helped some of the students do things like reading a non-digital micrometer & setting up 4-jaw chucks on the metal lathe, etc. Mickey mouse stuff all told.

One day me & him were walking out of the building after class, and on of the students came up to us. He wanted to know if he could borrow the machine shop a bit after class the next session. At first me & the professor were both surprised & happy. Then we asked what he wanted. He just wanted to use the Piranha (a diamond-abrasive blade cutoff saw) For a few minutes. Well, we asked why.

I will remember this to my dying day. And I Quote: "Oh, My pappy left me this big 'ol Grandfather clock he made. I got all the brass gears I could out of it with a sledgehammer for my costume, and I need some help to get at the rest."

Okay, I was mad. But my professor was livid. I've never seen a person so angry.
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It must of been something for your professor to be livid. Really, it's pretty insensitive of that student to destroy something his father made just for some costume that not only is part of a fad but would also look horrible. Was there anymore to it after that?
 
Surtur said:
Wait he destroyed something his father worked hard to build....for a fucking costume?
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Super Collie said:
Say what you will about steampunk but it's relatively easy money if you know how to sell tat to them. I had an epiphany at a Michael's hobby store a couple years ago when I saw steampunk-ish crap like gears and tiny vials for sale in their trinket department. Since the hubby is always taking shit from Goodwill apart to build "the next BattleBots champion" I started collecting all the bits and baubles he didn't need (gears, springs, levers, etc), spraypainting or faux-aging them, and selling them as little autistic goodie bags.

I mean, it's not life changing money or anything but it's a free video game or two on the house at the expense of people who think painting a Nerf gun brown is a fashion statement.

I was at an anime/sci-fi convention a couple months ago and in the dealer's den there was a steampunk guy with buckets of just random trash. All of it painted brass/bronze and given some fake distressing. He also had literal boxes full of what I could only assume were broken Nerf guns whose first steampunk paint jobs were less than stellar, because they were all matte black or brown and were being sold as canvasses for projects. He was taking up a whopping three dealer's tables, and those spaces ain't cheap. Either he's a total idiot or he's making a ton of money off of this somehow.

Probably the former.

edit: I just realized, aren't Nerf guns stupidly expensive these days? For someone to have that many gun fuck-ups he must be in the hole an exorbitant amount of money.
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Mrs Paul said:
Hell, I'm horrified just listening to this. That could've been a family heirloom, and now he's smashed it all to pieces for some stupid fad. I mean, I was upset when my cousin wanted to look for stuff in my grandparents' house just to sell...this is so much worse.

I mean, can't a person go and find a falling apart clock at a garage sale or something? *cries*

(I've got a history degree and I interned at a museum for a semester. THIS is the kind of thing that makes me spergy)
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Yup. He totally fucked it up. It was a completely hand made full-case grandfather clock, and he fucked it up for a steampunk costume. I found this out while my machining professor was sputtering in full neural log-jam rage. After he recovered a bit, he then proceeded to tell the student just what he thought of that. In length. In detail. With more of a creative caustic edge to his words I could even imagine for a Non-English degree holder to be even possible. It was a thing of joy and beauty.

Super Collie, don't feel bad- you're not the only one doing this. There are literally thousands of people taking advantage of Steampunker's COMPLETE AND TOTAL IGNORANCE IN ANYTHING MECHANICAL. EBay, Etsy, Facebook Steampunk groups, Pinterest groups, it's just about everywhere. As I've said before at work. If you're going to be stupid, we're going to be expensive.

Mrs Paul, I could tell you horror stories for days. Steampunk twits cruising antique shops, yard sales, Estate sales & Flea markets. Looking all the while for antique brass keys, an actual vintage clock or watches they could take a hammer to for the brass gears, antique leather goods- especially WWII military gear- or old-school stained glass (Tiffany!) they can cut up or smash to incorporate into their bullshit costumes. Some antique shops in my neck of the woods actually have put up 'Steampunkers GTFO!" signs.

All in all, It's like the time I actually had to explain Steampunk to my boss when he saw one of these morons staring into our meat case through his goggles in his gay Captain Morgan outfit.

My boss: "WTF was up with that dude?"
Me: 'Ya mean?"
My boss: "WHY was he dressed like that?"
Me: "Oh, That's just Steampunk."
MB: "What is 'steampunk'?"
Me: "It's a lifestyle."
MB: "That doesn't help. Please explain."
Me: "In a nutshell?"
MB: "Yes."
Me: "Imagine a really, really well stocked bar. And in each of the bottles in that bar is every political, social, religious- and most importantly here- mechanical- Idea that was ever conceived of in the 16th. to 19th century.
MB: "Okay, gotcha so far."
Me: "Cool. Then you invite in about a dozen really creative people, and get them hammered. Dead drunk, and then you...."
MB (interrupting): "OH! I get it. Steampunk is their drinks they make!'
Me: "No. 'Steampunk' is the puddle of vomit in the potted plant right before the bathroom door."
 
Steampunk just eludes me. My understanding of it is that it was a corruption of cyberpunk fiction, but steampunk art and literature doesn't seem very prolific.

I think this is because unlike cyberpunk itself, steampunk isn't a genre of fiction; it's a fashion trend that got blown out of proportion. This squares with the materialism, waste and superficial nature of steampunkers, since fashion (and cosplay by extension) is symbiotically anchored to money and prestige within that culture.

Cyberpunk gave us Burning Chrome and fucking Shadowrun.

Steampunk's contribution to the human race: shitty cash-in webcomics and a ruined grandfather clock.
 
Okay gang, chill out with the the freaking "Powerlevel" rating.

Yes. I do know a lot about old-school technology. I'm a self-taught machinist. Guess what? I'm not the only fucking custom fabricator in the world who thinks steampunkers are absolute bullshit.

Across the internet, in tota, anyone who makes fully-functional custom gear thinks the steampunk crew are absolute wankers.

Truth hurts. Deal with it.
 
The Knife's Husbando said:
Okay gang, chill out with the the freaking "Powerlevel" rating.

Yes. I do know a lot about old-school technology. I'm a self-taught machinist. Guess what? I'm not the only fucking custom fabricator in the world who thinks steampunkers are absolute bullshit.

Across the internet, in tota, anyone who makes fully-functional custom gear thinks the steampunk crew are absolute wankers.

Truth hurts. Deal with it.
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I think you got powerlevel ratings because you were powerleveling, not delivering some harsh truth...
 
RJ MacReady said:
Steampunk just eludes me. My understanding of it is that it was a corruption of cyberpunk fiction, but steampunk art and literature doesn't seem very prolific.

I think this is because unlike cyberpunk itself, steampunk isn't a genre of fiction; it's a fashion trend that got blown out of proportion. This squares with the materialism, waste and superficial nature of steampunkers, since fashion (and cosplay by extension) is symbiotically anchored to money and prestige within that culture.

Cyberpunk gave us Burning Chrome and fucking Shadowrun.

Steampunk's contribution to the human race: shitty cash-in webcomics and a ruined grandfather clock.
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That makes Steampunk the perfect emulation of the gilded age of american history
 
:powerlevel: time. I'm going to admit; I do like steampunk, but I'm glad this thread is here to remind me why I never associate with like 95% of the other "enthusiasts" out there.
The Knife's Husbando said:
I AM CALM! I....

Just kidding.

These people are a personal hatred of mine. As they are to any actual machinist, custom fabricator, antique dealer, or serious gearhead.

True story.

Back in my college days, I had to take a prerequisite "Machine Tool 101" class. All it was, was how to use a basic miller & metal lathe. Tools I had plenty of practical experience on before I even got there. The only project the entire semester was to make an all-metal claw hammer out of a length of 1" square steel stock, and a bit of 1" aluminum round for a handle. I whipped that out in the first class, first day. So every other class, I just basically hung out with the professor & chatted, and occasionally even helped some of the students do things like reading a non-digital micrometer & setting up 4-jaw chucks on the metal lathe, etc. Mickey mouse stuff all told.

One day me & him were walking out of the building after class, and on of the students came up to us. He wanted to know if he could borrow the machine shop a bit after class the next session. At first me & the professor were both surprised & happy. Then we asked what he wanted. He just wanted to use the Piranha (a diamond-abrasive blade cutoff saw) For a few minutes. Well, we asked why.

I will remember this to my dying day. And I Quote: "Oh, My pappy left me this big 'ol Grandfather clock he made. I got all the brass gears I could out of it with a sledgehammer for my costume, and I need some help to get at the rest."

Okay, I was mad. But my professor was livid. I've never seen a person so angry.
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:surprised:
I'd be livid too. Hand-making a mechanical grandfather clock? The dad could technically be more steampunk than his kid for even building that. Hell, why can't more steampunks do stuff like that instead of breaking it apart into a shell of itself?

If only there were more people who do stuff like Kinetic Steam Works does, and fewer who just mush old clock parts onto their stuff without rhyme or reason and call it good.

*sigh*

EDIT: I guess you could say it...grinds my gears.
 
The Knife's Husbando said:
Yup. He totally fucked it up. It was a completely hand made full-case grandfather clock, and he fucked it up for a steampunk costume. I found this out while my machining professor was sputtering in full neural log-jam rage. After he recovered a bit, he then proceeded to tell the student just what he thought of that. In length. In detail. With more of a creative caustic edge to his words I could even imagine for a Non-English degree holder to be even possible. It was a thing of joy and beauty.

Super Collie, don't feel bad- you're not the only one doing this. There are literally thousands of people taking advantage of Steampunker's COMPLETE AND TOTAL IGNORANCE IN ANYTHING MECHANICAL. EBay, Etsy, Facebook Steampunk groups, Pinterest groups, it's just about everywhere. As I've said before at work. If you're going to be stupid, we're going to be expensive.

Mrs Paul, I could tell you horror stories for days. Steampunk twits cruising antique shops, yard sales, Estate sales & Flea markets. Looking all the while for antique brass keys, an actual vintage clock or watches they could take a hammer to for the brass gears, antique leather goods- especially WWII military gear- or old-school stained glass (Tiffany!) they can cut up or smash to incorporate into their bullshit costumes. Some antique shops in my neck of the woods actually have put up 'Steampunkers GTFO!" signs.

All in all, It's like the time I actually had to explain Steampunk to my boss when he saw one of these morons staring into our meat case through his goggles in his gay Captain Morgan outfit.

My boss: "WTF was up with that dude?"
Me: 'Ya mean?"
My boss: "WHY was he dressed like that?"
Me: "Oh, That's just Steampunk."
MB: "What is 'steampunk'?"
Me: "It's a lifestyle."
MB: "That doesn't help. Please explain."
Me: "In a nutshell?"
MB: "Yes."
Me: "Imagine a really, really well stocked bar. And in each of the bottles in that bar is every political, social, religious- and most importantly here- mechanical- Idea that was ever conceived of in the 16th. to 19th century.
MB: "Okay, gotcha so far."
Me: "Cool. Then you invite in about a dozen really creative people, and get them hammered. Dead drunk, and then you...."
MB (interrupting): "OH! I get it. Steampunk is their drinks they make!'
Me: "No. 'Steampunk' is the puddle of vomit in the potted plant right before the bathroom door."
Click to expand...

Oh sweet Jesus Christ. These people should be locked up. I mean, flea markets (as in Goodwill quality stuff) and garage sales are one thing. I'm talking crappy, cheap shit that no one wants. But real antique Tiffany lamps? Family heirlooms. I think I'm going to throw up. Hell, if you're creative enough, you could find ways to age new materials to make them look antique. Instead of destroying antique textiles, learn to fucking sew.

My cousin had my great-grandmother's wedding gown, and was going to give it to us, but before she could do so, it was all but destroyed when her house burned down. (Right around the time Chris's did). We each took a piece of what was left (not much), but the idea that someone would cut up and wreck something like that on purpose? I'm about to have a full-sperg on melt down.

Jesus. (Sorry, it's the historian in me. I can't help it. You see so many things that are lost that museums and researchers would love to get their hands on, that have been destroyed or neglected)
 
It makes it even worse when you realize how much time and effort must have been put into making that clock. He did'nt even think about his father enough to see the sentimental value in it. He could have went to a random hardware store. Careless and stupid. I wonder how he broke the news to his dad...
 
RJ MacReady said:
Cyberpunk gave us Burning Chrome and fucking Shadowrun.
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Cyberpunk is kind of real life now. Steampunk never really happened in history - at least not to the extent it does in fiction.

Anyway, the type of steampunk fans I can really admire are the ones who make functional stuff without destroying antiques, and who aren't full of themselves.

The Knife's Husbando said:
I will remember this to my dying day. And I Quote: "Oh, My pappy left me this big 'ol Grandfather clock he made. I got all the brass gears I could out of it with a sledgehammer for my costume, and I need some help to get at the rest.
Click to expand...

Even though ED is normally full of crap (being satire and parody) this is strangely relevant:
Encyclopedia Dramatica on steampunk said:
Here are some simple steps to look and act like a real steampunk fan.

Buy some dead geezer's paisley vest from the local thrift store
Steal your father's heirloom watch and take it apart
Glue the watch parts to the vest
[...]
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Last edited:
I feel like sperging a little more, so here goes. Spoilered because long.
Frankly, I wish more steampunks would read Thomas Willeford's Steampunk Gear, Gadgets and Gizmos. Not just because it has instructions for some really neat-looking stuff (which it does), but also because there's a whole chapter on how to work with antiques in such creations so you don't destroy a priceless heirloom. He sums it up basically as: When it comes to antiques, if you are not certain what you have or what it might be worth, put down the hammer and do a little research first. (bold mine) Or as I like to put it: look it up before you fuck it up.
I can't think of a solid reason why not to do that; you learn something about the item at hand and you can avoid the risk of becoming another Grandfather-Clock Kid (:heart-empty:). I like to think if the majority of these steampunk makers who rip into old clocks for parts took just these little steps, and followed that little rule of thumb, they'd probably be half fixed right there. Measure twice, cut once, y'know?

(and would it hurt them to at least have the gears mesh dammit?)

 
My dad has both of his grandfathers' pocket watches (he says me and my sister will each get one one day). If I ever have kids, they will swear to me that they will never, EVER, do anything like this. I'd kill them with my bare hands.

(We should do I thread about family heirlooms. I have a few neat ones)
 
Self-important steampunk complains about modern technology while DJing with a Mac.
also minor sperging but get your dirty steampunk hands out of electro swing, that's dieselpunk territory and you know it

(Edit: whoops wrong vid)
 
The Knife's Husbando said:
I AM CALM! I....

Just kidding.

These people are a personal hatred of mine. As they are to any actual machinist, custom fabricator, antique dealer, or serious gearhead.

True story.

Back in my college days, I had to take a prerequisite "Machine Tool 101" class. All it was, was how to use a basic miller & metal lathe. Tools I had plenty of practical experience on before I even got there. The only project the entire semester was to make an all-metal claw hammer out of a length of 1" square steel stock, and a bit of 1" aluminum round for a handle. I whipped that out in the first class, first day. So every other class, I just basically hung out with the professor & chatted, and occasionally even helped some of the students do things like reading a non-digital micrometer & setting up 4-jaw chucks on the metal lathe, etc. Mickey mouse stuff all told.

One day me & him were walking out of the building after class, and on of the students came up to us. He wanted to know if he could borrow the machine shop a bit after class the next session. At first me & the professor were both surprised & happy. Then we asked what he wanted. He just wanted to use the Piranha (a diamond-abrasive blade cutoff saw) For a few minutes. Well, we asked why.

I will remember this to my dying day. And I Quote: "Oh, My pappy left me this big 'ol Grandfather clock he made. I got all the brass gears I could out of it with a sledgehammer for my costume, and I need some help to get at the rest."

Okay, I was mad. But my professor was livid. I've never seen a person so angry.
Click to expand...

I might have pushed him balls-first into that Piranha once he told me that. Hell, between this and social justice I'm still thinking we should just write this whole generation off as a total loss.
 
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