Proper Endings for Pedos? - The Best Tool for the Job

[BONE_Buddy]

It has come to my attention that there are many camps and positions on what is the definitive tool to kill pedophiles. It is likely to be the most important theological and philosophical debate of this century.

Some say Bullets:


Some say the Rope:


The Wood-chipper is a popular third answer:


And of course there is a die-hard core of support around the venerable Gas-Chamber:


So Tell me Farmer, which of these is your favored flavor and why?

 

[Michael Pemulis]

Some kind of automated disposal unit/incinerator. As much as I like the idea of them suffering, they shouldn't, because we should make the disposal of pedos as quick and efficient as possible

Agreed. Suffering is only useful to correct beings that are going to go on living. Once something is beyond hope, it should simply be destroyed.

 

[Joe Swanson]

Tie a stone to them and chuck em in the middle of the ocean

 

[LemonsFromTheSun]

I think public stoning is a good option. Nothing brings a community together like throwing rocks at someone who touched a child inappropriately as another plus, this way no sole person is responsible and could later be harmed by the pedo’s family seeking revenge.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

Pure silver cross dagger.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Barbed wire pull through

 

[Soycast Guy]

Bullets are quick. I wanna make the pedo suffer. Hanging is too boring. It’s too obvious and doesn’t add enough spice. Gas chambers are interesting, but there’s no actual mess. Wood chippers are my favorite. Prolonged pain, and a good bloody mess for the pedo.

As for something outside of these methods, I’m a big fan of the acid baths.

 

[Cloaca Rimjob]

Deportation back to the middle east with a VX suppository

 

[Jason Wynn]

Do like Dr. Danco from the Dexter novels and turn them into "yodeling potatoes"

Basically amputate anything not necessary for survival and then treat them like the Sloth victim from Seven

 

[ARghEAT]

Really, the problem with hunting down pedophiles like this is that you'll just make it harder to get to the rest. You spend all your time crushing and incinerating one cockroach, the rest will run away before you can get to them.

With pedophiles, the ideal outcome would be a situation where they are quickly identified, and before they can offend - whereupon they can be sectioned off from society or somehow tracked to prevent them from coming into contact with children (so that they can still contribute to society) or somehow killed quickly and quietly to prevent other pedophiles from turning themselves in, resisting being found, or trying to abuse children in secret.

Perhaps the punishment for offenders should be harsh, however, to act as a deterrent (though whether this will work well or not, I am unsure). Yes, it would certainly be very cathartic and pleasing for most to stuff them into a wood chipper or slowly dismember them, but the idea is to make it as easy as possible to find and remove pedophiles.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Ooh, tear off their fingers with gardening tools and livestream it!
Strangle them with their intestines too!
Burn them at the stake with their technology/artwork as kindling
Chop their limbs and stab the stumps
Make them watch their paraphernalia burn down, "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest"-style or MK Ultra torture
Force feed them glass shards

 

[Soycast Guy]

Ooh, I thought of a good one. Tie the pedo tightly to a chair with rope, and tape the mouth shut. Keep the eyes open though. Oh it’ll be even better if he can see for himself. Take a nice good piece of sheet metal. Not too sharp, we don’t want to make this quick. Don’t forget to slather it in rubbing alcohol as well. Maybe put in above a fire for a minute, make sure it’s nice and hot. It’ll make the whole thing better. Time for the fun part. Slide the metal across a testicle, slowly. Make sure he feels every slice. Once the ball is cut off, leave him there for a few hours. Let the pain linger. After that, take off the other testicle. Again, keep him like that for hours. What’s left? I’m sure you know. It’s time to slice off the actual dick. Slowly slide the sheet metal across. This should take awhile. He won’t be able to scream either because of his mouth being taped shut, but you’ll be able to tell he’s trying to. Once the whole thing is off, pin it and both testicles up on the wall. Leave him there to starve, or die from infection. Works either way.

 

[BelUwUga]

Some kind of automated disposal unit/incinerator. As much as I like the idea of them suffering, they shouldn't, because we should make the disposal of pedos as quick and efficient as possible. It should become instinctive, there should be as little time as possible for anyone to argue with it or stop and think about how it may be inhumane. Give them nothing to latch on to in order to defend themselves. And give nobody in charge of the disposal the remotest chance to stop and reconsider their point of view.

You never know, if one dies slowly it might make the person in charge feel bad. Ideally, you want a method where this isn't allowed to happen at all. The reason society got this bad in the first place is exactly because of this, because they've been given too much room to argue that their disposal is inhumane.

Also the disposal unit should be very easy to clean. An incinerator should do a decent job. No recognizable bits to trick someone else into thinking a person died in there.

It may not be very cathartic, but in the long run you can be satisfied that its healthier and more psychologically hygienic for society.

I like your dispassionate point of view. I also like to think big and when it comes to liquidating problem people you should already know who I'm going to draw inspiration from.

Now if you were to imagine these wire-rope nooses as being pulled laterally along a rail you understand the movement of my system. The rail would start at around shoulder-height, easy enough for the slack noose to simply be slipped over the nonce's head. As the "line" advances, the floor begins to decline. Eventually they are hanging and dying. Bring it around in a big loop. Terminate it with a ramp to bring the corpses back up to the original height, ideally right in front of your incinerators. You could use a similar mechanism they use to detach/re-attach gondolas on ski-lifts to detach nooses from the line to remove them, and then stack them to start the circuit over. Very efficient. Minimal contact from operating personnel.