Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[Duck Duck No]

Welp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NZV-GMu1SQ

 

[Mary Lee Harvey osWalsh]

Welp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NZV-GMu1SQ

Interesting. While I do think Quinton has mellowed out a bit over the years, it's pretty clear from his interviews here that he's still very defensive about the things he did.

 

[Flexo]

Look who got a clip featured.

I laughed when Aydin said, "he's just like the NPC meme."

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Trump is president, war in Gaza, Content Cop is back, Ethan Klein is funny again, Mumkey Jones is making survival guides and Quinton is poking the drama bear. Must be 2018 again.

Welcome for a new instalment of Queuing Quinton, the post series where I summarize Quinton videos a while after they happened because I have two jobs and do volunteer work. As always, I'm your host Blue Gem Kosher (converted back from Muslim) Queen, the willing surrogate that watches this shit for you. As it has been the case before, I must ask the jannies to keep my effort posts separated for ease of access and historical accuracy.

This dear reader is a special instalment as I've postponed the idea of making my own ranking of my favourite Quinton videos since he started his turn into light cowdom. Obsessive minds think alike. I'll be providing my own thoughts for each entry so I predict this post will be significantly longer than the previous entry.

• Quinton went through all the videos he has made (that he hasn't expunged) for this video. His picks are his Voltron videos, Passive Plays (a gameplay series he made with Caleb) and most of his commentary era. Videos that he deleted within the hour because of fan pushback don't count so no T-Series, Women's March or JonTron apologetics.
• #10. Fallen Titans: Machinima. Quinton says that it must surprise some people because is an 'okay video' and his only complaint is how bland it is and that if he were to remake it he would include a GMod of himself and his set. I find this laughable tbh because it isn't just bland, he gets stuff wrong like how he believed machinimas consisted of players logging on an empty world to play each character individually or not knowing Burnie Burns' real name was Burnie Burns, shit Beige Frequency even called him out for those. I've always been flabbergasted some people say this is one of the better videos of Fallen Titans but they are Quinton fans so who cares. Quinton finishes this up by praising his LonelyGirl15 video and saying that he thought people on Twitter had killed his career when probably his views tanked because his audio was shit at the time.
• #9. Fallen Titans: Poggers Guy. Viewers must be surprised because is another cult classic. Made it in 48 hours, not to be cocky. In case you weren't there at the time, Quinton rushed this entire thing in a little bit over two days and it fucking shows. He literally knew nothing on the guy, got some people to proofread it and even he recognizes two whole minutes of the runtime is shit he made off vibes. He then talks about gimmicks that he tried and failed at the time like his 'Every Video' gimmick that didn't go anywhere like with his Top 10 Disneyland ladders when he spend a lot of money, wrote some funnies and barely managed 100k views but if you are a true fan you know how iconic it is.
• #8. Mr. Meaty. Quinton feels bad that he was mean to the show because as he was editing the video he gaslit himself into liking it. The editing process with shorter videos was like that because of rent. Rent was also mentioned in the previous two spots but here he literally said nothing of worth.
• Don't know or remember if he skipped #7 or one of his tangents in previous points was meant to be #7.
• #6. Were there real skeletons at Disneyland?. He has hated this one from the moment he finished filming. He was interested in the urban legends around Disney after his first visit to California. He hates it because he comes off as a Walt Disney apologist due to that first time at Disneyland fever. It is intimately attached to when he tried to be Disney adjacent (you can choose to believe if it was because he wanted to bang a Disney adult).
• #5. Fallen Titans: Ray William Johnson. Fallen Titans was inspired by Q's friends reminiscing about what they watched when they were teenagers as cringe. Q says that he was really mean-spirited about it and that it is a very shallow approach for videos. He also thinks poorly of his video on Internet animation and the algorithm. Quinton, you are now known for pointing and laughing at sitcoms from a decade ago for how problematic or corny they are. You haven't changed a bit and that's sadder than your love life. Your videos don't hold up and assuming any of us are still here in five, we may see a video like this again about how the Nickstorian saga doesn't hold a candle to your current work. Personally, I'm still mad that Quinton has never corrected his joke about Alan Moore being the one that bastardized Watchmen in this one, or how he has retroactively made the animation one worse by never completing it.
• #4. humongous.exe. While the protestors were wrong in harrasing Mr. Hugh Mongous and they were very annoying and should've handled the situation better... there's no reason we can't have a more nuanced political discussion about the expansion of a police department. Quinton should've uploaded this to the second channel, he would be at 1M by now and he has a couple no-no videos that haven't aged well. Oof, crisis averted Quinny.
  
  Even if you were a skeptic autist, is almost funny how many views this has since its just the Whatzit Tooya scene with the humongous audio.
• #3. Musicians who stole their music. Oh no, is the rent monster again. The feedback was positive but he still remembers one hate comment under the lines of "Quinton is the type of guy who knows a little about everything and a lot about nothing in particular. He does remember this one word-for-word these many years later and in tandem with his hateboner for j aubrey makes him come off as the pettiest motherfucker I've ever seen.
  
• #2. The Leafy video. He hates this one and the GradeA video. He is objectively right in his Leafy video, still hates it. Mocks people that were excited about his return. My favourite Quinton moment this year comes when he said that he tried to set the parameter to judge character with his Grade video and then it was used on him but it wasn't fair that people took his word as gospel back then because he was 19. Every artistic thing he poured effort and passion on failed while these videos were paying the bills. He finds catharsis in Dan Schneider videos burying them by relevance in what people associate with him. These videos are also responsible for me finding you and hence, making this thread.
• #1. The Emoji Movie review. While not his most hated video, it was what inspired him to make the video I'm summarizing. Quinton has OCD, formerly diagnosed, and he makes lists for everything. He has a list for videos hitting 1M views (with projections going as far as 2045 based on his own estimate), he views the number as a mark of success for his projects. He hates this one because it almost hit 1M views but died 400k views short.

Oh boy. This one is three times longer and if he glazed himself about the videos he hates I wonder whats the majority of the runtime.

• In every video we've covered so far Quinton plays what he is talking about as a picture-in-picture. In this one he legit plays fragments from the videos and gives live commentary reaction. I can only play this x2, I already regret my decision.
• All the videos he picked are at the most recent from about 5 years ago. Quinton looks like his own creepy, meth addicted uncle.
• He made a playlist so his viewers can watch them and increase viewcount. Emoji Movie review is getting in so Q can get his 1M views. This whole thing is so he can get more views overall and feel better about himself.
• Quinton Reviews Graze.com. Really proud of this one. Quinton starts the whole video eating a bag of this. The second ever appearance of Bon Bon, who had the gag early on of having an existential crisis over seeing Q do anything. Quinton back in the day wanted to present a YouTube character so he comments on the weird South Park-esque accent he pulls. He says that he likely came up with this Porky the Pig (his words) voice to mask his stammer, which he has struggled with his whole life. His sister Gwen was his camera guy in some of the earlier videos, including this one. Underrated he says, I didn't even know he made this one. That's how 'underrated' it is. I was making shit this corny when I was 12.
• Dream theories are dumb. Really proud of this one. Aged really well, something he could have made yesterday. If he saw a small YouTuber making this he would sub. Laughs at his own jokes (he will do this a lot through this video), including him reading of the Hey Arnold really happened post where Grandpa molested Arnold and picking a photo from a concentration camp while reading 'kids in ghettos' (he didn't even notice the Star of David patch). The essential 'I started a YouTube channel' video, nuff said.
• Scary Godmother 1 & 2. This video has 800k views, why is it underrated? Because it no longer gets traffic. Q says that this was one of his first great videos and that Caleb asked around the time of Fallen Titans when did he stop being funny? (as in, Q traded making random funnies for trying to be taken seriously as a YouTuber). Q made a joke implying Caleb was gay and he had to explain Caleb isn't gay and he asked the people he joked were his boyfriends if it was ok to call them gay. Q was in a Back to the Future musical production in high school and played the narrator (he says this because one of Caleb's 'boyfriends' is supposed to be dressed like Weird Al?). His videos are filled with deep cut pop culture references. This is the video with the 'I'll suck your dick for a pack of M&Ms' meme. Q used to make a ton of Dubya jokes, so he stops the Scary Godmother review to show one of his old Q&As saying that Junior killed Harambe, calls it his funniest joke no one has seen. Quinton laughs at his own dubbing of an old Cartoon Network s'mores tutorial. This one has his seal of approval for those looking to get into '2010's Quinton'.
• My boss has a pug with this exact same expression. She sadly was on medical emergency but seems to be doing much better now, or so I was told.

• She is good now but is mad at me because I said she looks like this.
• The universe forced me to watch this shit again because I was unable to do my job normally. So far this has been a big fucking slogfest because despite this all being edited, Quinton does shit as he goes. Nothing prepared and sometimes he includes himself doing stuff he could trim down.
• Quinton Reviews Sinister Squad. Quinton explains that he used to title his reviews with this format (channel name + blank) because he wanted to trickle down views from the drama videos that were paying the bills. Once again recognizes Fallen Titans was his attempt at doing both at the same time.
• This reviews starts with a sketch about the worst super heroes Q and Caleb could come up with. Caleb came up with Multiplication Man (a joke so good it gets Q to cackle for almost 30 non-consecutive seconds) and Purple Guy. Q proceeds to powerlevel. Asthmatic Flash is based on Q having asthma. Quinton played a character named God that has the gimmick of having a shit ton of powers, does nothing and has a suit so ugly he refuses to wear it (until the Quinton Reviews movie). God wears the Darkwelder mask (Darkwelder is the Russ Reviews movie we talked about a bit ago). Quinton only likes this video because of the sketches, so he skips to a moment when the super hero team arrives to his house and screams for reasons, then says that this one is a great video if you can hear screams in the background while he is talking. Screams, he does this.

• I'm barely forty minutes in and the general vibe is that Quinton is always proud of the jokes and the sketches, rarely saying anything about why he thinks the review itself holds up. Now I get why he likes Linkara so much.

• I had this one ready about a month ago but Mozilla killed itself and I lost like half my post. So I had to rewatch like half the video.
• How to open a tough jar. @Tonberry already summarized this one really well but I'm going to add that Q disclosed he made about a hundred of it. Whenever I think of YouTubers reacting to being featured in Tosh.0, my first thought is Drew Gooden being pretty chill about it so seeing Quinton complaining about not being compensated (something he has made a fuzz about for almost a decade) is pretty mid.
• A video he made of him recreating his face with ice cream and his own shaved body hair he melted.
• Quinton came to the conclusion that in order to make his gameplay series, Passive Plays, popular he had to commission Ben Basic an animated clip because Game Grumps had animated clips. The moment chosen was Q's Stan Lee impression telling Spidey to "fuck him with your dick".
• Quinton Reviews eBay. Quinton makes fun of his now diagnosed OCD. He threw 100 bucks for nothing as a joke and almost won a bid.
• Every Ghost Show. He never shuts up about this one so he doesn't even bother to say why is underrated.
• Top 10 Disneyland ladders. Q's attempt at becoming a Disney adult was a very expensive gamble and he feels that a lot of his best jokes have never been seen by anyone. There's this moment at the tea cups when according to Q he made the line just to record a presentation, after him was a mother and daughter looking at him with pure disgust.
• How to survive a solar eclipse. This one was entirely Russ' idea and he even pressured Q to make it.
• A video of Quinton depressingly playing the offline Google dinosaur game.
• april fools. This is an old video of him that wasn't received well and involved too much effort. Q implemented backmasking for an elaborate series of actions. Q says that his audience was very dumb then and that is now very smart so he expects them to figure out what he is saying... he then explains it defeating his own point. He says 'Happy Birthday Logan Paul' (because Logan was born April 1st). He does several other things like eating a plate of fries Beavo style, something that people found disgusting then and Q says that he may have an eating disorder based on how he just snorts his food.
• Easter Movies. Literally only picked this one because they recreated the Last Supper with Peeps.
• the worst video ever. This is the origin of the sexdoll if you needed a refresher. According to Q, he was contacted by a sketchy store (I assume a sex store) that offered him an ad-read, for some reason Q was told to pay about 2000 for a sexdoll he quickly found out he could've bought of Alibaba for less than 100. They ghosted him and he made the video out of spite. Quinton is still mad that people called him creepy for getting the sexdoll, bringing up an EFAP fanart depicting him holding a female sexdoll (Q's sexdoll is male) and a Green Lantern ring. There's a segment in which Quinton as a killer with a southern accent (and depending on your mileage you may even read as a paedo based on how he talks about 'muh boy') plays catch the ball with the doll. This instance was the first time Q's neighbours at the time were astonished by his antics. Wyatt Receiver (real name apparently) is apparently one of the funniest people Q knows besides Huffman (friend that passed away) and wonders why they never made a podcast. Quinton bought a webdomain that redirects to this video and sees it as ultimate victory. Quinton, I feel like I've to ask. What circumstances led to you almost getting sponsored by a sexdoll store? Not even Adam & Eve, but specifically a sexdoll store and not even a reputable one. It feels like there's a massive gap of information here that doesn't help your case for at least being seen as creepy.
• Mr. Peanut Deserved to Die. He says that this was the first video he recorded on the iCarly era apartment. I think it got lost in the rewrite but Quinton's comedic philosophy can be summarized as unfunny jokes with dedication make comedy gold (exact words). Quinton strikes me like he wants to be dumb PointlessHub style but can't ever stop being really verbose while saying nothing. He really only wanted to talk about the ending because he made a point about how advertising pollutes and should die he subverts with his boner for Raid: Shadow Legends. He shares that the footage at the end was filmed at a bypass (he is unsure what is called, he almost called it subdivision) that is near the Little Caesar's he worked at where he found a Monster House DVD he planned on reviewing with that context. Something Q did that I like, he cleaned the bypass because he added some of his own trash.
• I remembered that he presented his comedy gold philosophy based on his obsession with John McCain shirts, and he changes midway through the video to hammer it down.
• I also remembered he included another exe meme he made because he chose to end the video with it. Smashed_Mouth.exe.
• OJ Simpson. Got killed by demonetization, Q confirms videos die after being demonetized. Only included because Wyatt is in it.
• Quinton looks super bald on this video.

Now, my picks for worst and best vids since Q set his career on fire in 2017 by chronological order. Also, I consider Quinton Reviews T-Series and How Contrapoints Can Save the Internet as the absolute worst he has ever produced but I think even he agrees on that. I feel How Garfield Lost its Magic is pretty solid but it has 1M views.

• McDonalds VHS Tapes. BEST. Quinton is at his best when he talks about nostalgic shit no one cares about and specially when he has personal spin on it. In this case is that he replayed these Clasky-Csupo cartoon so much his parents hid the tapes away.
• Fallen Titans: Online Animation. WORST. This video was very lacklustre on release as it has almost nothing on Newgrounds, the eventual evolution to gameplay series or the advent of web animation going mainstream but it arguably aged worse by what he didn't do. Quinton teased and scrapped a sequel about storytime animators, hailing them as successors to the old guard. He also inserted himself when Dominic Fera scrapped the Lazer Collection because he felt responsible even though the only animator that gave a direct reply was Tomska, who didn't like the video.
• Ouija Movies Part 2. BEST. I like this one because it features a segment of Quinton interviewing the director of one of the movies, at one point the director is pleasantly surprised about Q's abilities. While this make ponder how he could do in front of Nickelodeon stars, I'm afraid Q has lost the spark that made it work here.
• Why Do We Dream. WORST. Back in 2018, this became the reason why people accused Q of trying (and failing) to be Austin McConnell. Nuff said.
• The Disney Park era. WORST. These videos, all of them, probably weren't classified as a tax write-off because no one cared or cares they exist except for Quinton. He isn't engaging, particularly knowledgeable or charismatic to be anything other than a reminder of Disney adults actually are.
• Fallen Titans: Machinima. WORST. I've ragged on this one enough already.
• Every Phillip DeFranco Video. WORST. The 'Every Video' format is to make fun of people, don't forget it because there was a point when Quinton was a DeFranco fanboy that only crossed sides when breadtube did. You can hardly tell what he is trying to do because he doesn't even try to imitate DeFranco and the editing is so bare-bones the viewer is trapped with Q's smug face.
• Arbuckle. BEST. It isn't perfect but it was refreshing to see him do something that wasn't corny political jabs.
• Political Messages in Cartoons. WORST. There's no better representation of who Q is or was as a creator. Trying to make the simple profound by virtue of using big words. Be thankful he hasn't touched VeggieTales.
• Fallen Titans: Creepypasta. WORST. He read them of his phone. It is at this point he wasn't even hiding he was disillusioned with Fallen Titans as a concept.
• The shitty sitcom video essays he expunged. Bet no one even remembered those.
• Back to the Future: Beyond the Films. BEST. Once again Quinton's propensity for ruining his own work is kept at bay when talking about something deeply sentimental for him. He stays on topic and just presents.
• VoidCon. WORST. There's an art to make your own thread grown ten pages in a day of people hating your movie so much.
• TikTok video. WORST. Quinton didn't understand the Chinese spyware app and he dances while wearing lipstick. Even fans of his believed he did a poor job with this one
• Fictional Presidents. WORST. Clickbait and awful all-around. Rushed. Dreadful.
• The collabs with Saltydkdan, Worthikids and LS Mark. WORST. There's a joke that YouTube collabs is giving someone a script and then there's this. Q has more chemistry with Nolan 'cocoon fetish' Baker from the Pizza Party Podcast.
• Fallen Titans: Poggers Guy. Not even Quinton likes this one. He didn't know shit about him, outsourced investigation, didn't fact check, made-up shit and all so he could cash on the attention.
• Chills: The Worst Top 10 YouTuber. 1.1M people tuned in just to make fun of Quinton. There's an art to absolutely disappearing of the public consciousness and reappearing so people can make fun of you and Q has it mastered.
• Of the Nickstorian saga, the Fred video is the only one I consider good.

I swear I wanted to be more positive but there's a reason this whole era of his channel before the Nickstorian saga kicked in was so full of duds.