A suited man stumbles into a bar and asks the Bartender for a Jack&Coke. The bartender, seeing that the man looks distraught asks him for his troubles. "Oh I just wasn't good enough to be a lawyer. My recent case burned up like a hindenburg. The bartender grew curious as to wonder how that lawyer was bummed over a guilty case. Weren't lawyers just people who know the laws and rules of the country? He asks the Lawyer "Well why are you distraught over a lost case? I mean the whoever was convicted did something illegal and was caught, so wouldn't that just be an open and shut case?"
The Lawyer chuckled. "It's not as simple as you'd think it'll be. Being a lawyer and prosecutor requires a handful of skills when it comes to making your defendant get the verdict and sentence you desire." "Well then what skills would you need other than knowledge of the law?" The lawyer pulls out his hand curled into a fist and begins counting the rising fingers on his hand to illustrate his list of skills. "Well of course you'll need quick knowledge of the law to your advantage, but you'll also need Persuasion skills, knowing the right questions in Cross Examinations, Cold Reading..."
"Cold reading?"
"Oh Cold Readings a very interesting speechcraft tactic. Basically you're getting information from the person without actually letting them know they're being questioned. Psychics use it all the time."
The Bartender still curious, pressed on. "Well could you try it on me?" He had to know what this cold reading is.
"Of course! Lets start on something simple! Do you own a dog?"
"Of course I do."
"Well if you own a dog, that means you love having a dog, am I right?"
The Bartender chuckled. "Definitely true, what dog owner doesnt love dogs?"
"Well if you love dogs, you must love having kids aswell,"
The bartender was delightfully suprised. The lawyer deduced that he had kids just from a completely different question! "Yes! I do love my son and daughter."
"So if you had a son and daughter on top of owning a dog, you must be a family person yourself, complete with a lovely wife."
"Of course. I would've been nothing without my dear susan. And she looked lovely indeed."
The lawyer smirks and glances up at the bartender. "And last thing, If you have a Wife that you truly loved, that means you're not gay!"
The Bartender alongside the Lawyer laughed in unison to the great joke he told. The lawyer thanked the bartender and went on his merry way, now with high spirits to try harder. Tomorrow morning, a different man enters the bar and asks for a beer. The bartender remembered the Cold reading the lawyer did so he decides to try it out on the unassuming guy. The Bartender asks the man: "So do you own a dog?"
"No." Says the man. The Bartender replies:
"That means you're gay."