r/polyamory

[Echo_Ender]

Literally every "Poly" person I've ever known is an absolute trainwreck that just moves from person to person, causing drama. Most are in the realm of full-on lolcows.

Those of you calling it "Sluts that don't want to be called sluts" are pretty much right.

Poly girls just wanna sleep with multiple dudes at once and not be called out on it. And Poly guys are either just in it for threesomes or know they're too beta to keep a girl, so they settle for being rebound dick.

Poly folks are, without exception, batshit insane. And most have a history of either sexual abuse at a young age or family issues (Divorced parents, ect).

 

[Captain Smollett]

r/polyamory is what you get when you combine cuckoldry, SJWs, anti-SJWs, fake bisexuality, a complete lack of understanding of social norms, and overbearing smugness into one very unfortunate subreddit.

What Polyamory Is
Having romantic relationships with more than one person. It is not having a harem, an open relationship, cheating, or swinging. At least in theory; if you read r/polyamory, you will discover it is in fact all of those things. (With the arguable exception of swinging; sometimes people from r/swingers will come to r/polyamory and make seemingly deliberately inflammatory posts about how much they don't get polyamory.)

The Userbase
The vast majority of the users are white and will immediately argue with any black person who points out how racist poly people are. The majority of women are bisexual and the majority of men are straight even though this makes no statistical sense. They're also nerds who LOVE board games and conventions.

Why They're Cows
It's hard to think of any one particular reason other than their constant drama, so I thought I would provide a sampler platter of awful. The short reason is an inability to exist as normal adults in normal human society and ranting about this loudly all the time.

1. Not understanding that guys shouldn't hit on girls at a gay bar. Poly people disrespect lesbians a lot, but it's usually bisexual women; I just thought this was especially bad.
View attachment 304772

2. Not understanding why a woman would be upset that her husband, with whom she has children, wants to go live with his girlfriend.
View attachment 304770 They also said it's unreasonable to expect to be with someone forever.

3. Person A said that poly people are queer because they deviate from the norm, Person B said queer specifically refers to same sex attracted people, and then Person C posted...this.
View attachment 304773

4. A general inability to understand monogamy.
View attachment 304788

5. Just CONSTANT, UNENDING DRAMA.
View attachment 304825
I just picked this one basically at random, but there are hundreds upon hundreds of other posts like this and yes, they are all that long.

Like any nerd subculture, they have a variety of incomprehensible jargon.

• metamour: your partner's partner
• nesting/anchor partner: the partner you live with
• fluid bonded: someone you have sex without condoms with
• compersion: feeling joy at other people's joy, generally used to mean feeling joy at how happy your partner is with their other partners
• primary: your main relationship
• secondary: your side pieces
• unicorn: a hot single bi babe who wants to join an established male/female relationship, either just to have sex or be a third partner
• one penis policy: when a man and a woman are dating, the woman can have sex with other women, but not with other men, because she's only allowed one penis. occasionally you will see one vagina policy, but it's rarer.
• processing: talking about your feelings
• polyfidelity: having a committed relationship with more than one person, e.g. a triad where everyone is only involved with the other members of the triad.

tl;dr: just read the ethical slut!!

I never understood polyamory honestly, I just see it as a huge cuckold thing or a Mormon thing.

 

[ShavedSheep]

Just seems like all the people who can't get laid normally just group up and fuck each other so no one is a virgin loser
Ie; my own clone, now neither of us will be virgins

 

[Slutpuppies]

I can almost get wanting to get maximum tail if you're single and decide to be poly, but if you're already in a loving relationship why roll those dice? Contrary to these nuts belief, love and compatibility don't come around every day.

 

[AzureGaru]

why can't they just cheat like normal people

 

[Overcast]

I just don't see the appeal to poly. I would imagine a relationship between two people is something very special, and if anyone tries to fuck with it, things don't end well for anyone involved.

I guess you could argue that a lot of animals participate in this kind of thing, but a lot of other animals mate for life. So what does that say about these people?

 

[soryu]

I've seen a video on Facebook about this middle aged man having a TEDtalk styled speech where it was basically "My wife and I had a terrible time with monagamy. Monogamy is toxic. More people should be poly. It'll save your marriage." Like, man, too bad you're a horn dog and can't commit to your wife, but that's your personal problem, not society's.

I also hate those freaks who prey on bisexual people because they think they're all polyamorous.

I knew somebody who was into this whole polyamory shit and they wouldn't stop talking about how they're glad to be poly on Tumblr, it was fucking annoying. I honestly don't care if people talk about their sex lives, but the fact they tried to make theirs #woke. Especially when they got into a relationship with a trans woman, they told us when they first had sex because HOLY SHIT IT'S A PENIS and they identified as lesbian at the time.

I've also seen some article about a year ago trying to tell black people that they should try to be polyamorus because it'll somehow heal racial PTSD or something.

 

[Neil]

How long do these relationships even last? I'd say a few weeks the morning after the one night stand at most.

FTFY

A facebook friend of mine is poly and that's all she ever posts about. We get it. You are poly. Now shut up about it.

The only reason these polyfucks post about how great it is to be polyamorous is because they're trying to delude themselves from the reality that they're shallow pieces of shit who only think of people as pieces of meat/they're lonely and want to forget the fact that their SO is off fucking other, better looking people.

Isn't polyamory polygamy? Why make a new word? Because it sounds nicer? Whatever.

Polyamory makes it sound more "romantic" by using the word, "Amour". This also distances it from that gross icky ugly totally brainwashing term, "monogamy".

 

[ClackAlAcka]

If many of these people can't even keep a monogamous relationship together, what makes them think they could manage a polyamorous one?

 

[ISO'os]

The male bullfinch is a bird that can memorise songs and whistle them exactly as its trainer dose; it is one of the only birds that can do this.

Scientists theorize this is due to bullfinch's only having monogamous relationships. Animals that have polgomous relationship majority lack the communication skills and brain function of monogamous animals.

When a trainer teaches a bullfinch it's Song they create a 'monogamous' relationship and work together to reach a goal. Like a couple of these birds would do in the wild e.g making a nest.

We seem to have monogamous relationship now due to evolution playing a key role. Monogamy is ligit a key part of survival for whole species.

Their for these redditors and polyretards and Devolving.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

The male bullfinch is a bird that can memorise songs and whistle them exactly as its trainer dose; it is one of the only birds that can do this.

Scientists theorize this is due to bullfinch's only having monogamous relationships. Animals that have polgomous relationship majority lack the communication skills and brain function of monogamous animals.

When a trainer teaches a bullfinch it's Song they create a 'monogamous' relationship and work together to reach a goal. Like a couple of these birds would do in the wild e.g making a nest.

We seem to have monogamous relationship now due to evolution playing a key role. Monogamy is ligit a key part of survival for whole species.

Their for these redditors and polyretards and Devolving.

>tfw a bird is better at long lasting and loving relationships than you.

 

[ISO'os]

>tfw a bird is better at long lasting and loving relationships than you.

>tfw a fat fucking red comic bird has a better, more healthy and loving relationship than you

 

[FierceBrosnan]

>tfw a fat fucking red comic bird has a better, more healthy and loving relationship than you
View attachment 305578

Look at that charming motherfucker! But he only has eyes and heart for one special ball of lady bird.

Edit: took me 5 years to proofread a post.

 

[CrimsonKnight]

I can almost get wanting to get maximum tail if you're single and decide to be poly, but if you're already in a loving relationship why roll those dice? Contrary to these nuts belief, love and compatibility don't come around every day.

They like living life on the edge, loving relationships be damned.

 

[Nuthatch]

To be fair, humans are mammals and are extremely distantly related to birds evolutionary. Most mammals are incapable of long-lasting and loving relationships. (Humans are so special!) Birds are also descendents of theropod dinosaurs.

So feathered dinosaurs have better relationships than these people.

 

[Crunchy Leaf]

That bird is hilarious looking. Really the only acceptable content in this thread so far.

If you need poly to save your marriage, you need a divorce.

 

[AzureGaru]

Birds are also better parents than mostly mammals and lolcow's parents

 

[ClackAlAcka]

The male bullfinch is a bird that can memorise songs and whistle them exactly as its trainer dose; it is one of the only birds that can do this.

Scientists theorize this is due to bullfinch's only having monogamous relationships. Animals that have polgomous relationship majority lack the communication skills and brain function of monogamous animals.

When a trainer teaches a bullfinch it's Song they create a 'monogamous' relationship and work together to reach a goal. Like a couple of these birds would do in the wild e.g making a nest.

We seem to have monogamous relationship now due to evolution playing a key role. Monogamy is ligit a key part of survival for whole species.

Their for these redditors and polyretards and Devolving.

Watch out now because this is where they go "but muh naturalistic fallacy", and you can easily counter this by pointing out how successful monogamous relationships are in being balanced, positive and much more likely to last, compared to how polyamorous relationships tend to be very stressfully chaotic and way more likely to fail. After this, they'll do the usually responses of calling you every name in the #woke bible while covering their ears and then storming off or just continue with the other many "but but but" excuses because they can't admit that poly nearly always goes to shit, until eventually you both get bored and end the conversation.

 

[Doug_Hitzel]

I never understood polyamory honestly, I just see it as a huge cuckold thing or a Mormon thing.

I see it more like the Interracial Breeding Grounds where the women get big, mandingo cocks inside them because “#BlackDicksMatter” and then the men have to slurp out the jigaboo jizz out of the filthy cumbuckets they call their wives.

 

[beansntoast]

Why do polys thing they are somehow being revolutionary? If you look at the bare bones of Abrahamic religions, they are all okay with polygamy. Polyamory worked with Neanderthals and early Homosapiens since there wouldn't be enough males to go around because they all kept dying from hunting or tribal wars and shit. It's the most primal form and it was the most conventional up until we learned that monogamy was best for creating civilizations.

nah our ancestors already knew that polygamy is cancer
http://www.ancient-origins.net/news...sex-networks-avoid-inbreeding-021650/page/0/1

and this is what happens in polygamous(polygynous) communities, surprise everyone is related to everyone and they're all sick
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20170726-the-polygamous-town-facing-genetic-disaster?ocid=fbert

@latter day taint
you got it mixed up a bit
polygynie: one husband many wives
polyandry: one wive many husbands

polygamy is just the umbrella term, but most people think it means the same as polygynie because it's more common

edit: how did I get ninjad like that :late: