r/polyamory

Nekromantik said:
Being progressive and accepting doesn't mean giving up you happiness so you husband can get his dick wet, or ass pounded or whatever.
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Honestly, these days that's exactly what it means. Assuming that bi guy is higher on the progressive stack than a straight woman (dubious, granted) then the "progressive" thing for her to do is facilitate his happiness no matter the costs to herself, because muh oppression is literally the only thing that should determine how people should interact with each other. This is entirely of a piece with troons insisting that lesbians take their lady-cock because troons are higher on the woke totem pole.
 
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Owlflaps said:
View attachment 491360
This woman is a lady cuck with, surprise surprise, social anxiety and insecurity issues. If you're hurt even if he asks permission to fuck other dudes, you're probably not cut out for the progressive, poly life.
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I'm surprised to see a poly couple where the woman is the one being cucked. That's quite rare with these fellas.
 
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PraiseHelix said:
That dude also sounds like he’s very much bi now, gay later. :story:
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Are all bi guys who cheat with men secretly gay? I've seen plenty of gay dudes posting about how they caught their bisexual boyfriend cheating on them with a girl. I think it's just how some bi guys are--always wanting the one they're not currently having.

Here's a quote from a comment on today's straight people cheating drama:
To me, it is bewildering how it can feel like a need to keep your partner in only one relationship! I mean, I accept that many people feel that way and that's ok, but in my heart it just doesn't make any sense. I want my partners to be happy! I love seeing them with other people, who can give them things that I can't, and who give them excitement and joy to bring back to me.
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Here's the full straight people cheating post.
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and the full comment I quoted part of:
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I don't really think poly is an 'orientation', but if you consider it that, you need to treat it like one: if your partner tells you they've realized they're gay, you get a divorce, if your partner tells you they've realized they're poly, you get a divorce.
 
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Shaftie said:
Imagine having to have your wife agree not to fuck a guy on a first date. Some guys really need to be taught about the sunk cost fallacy.
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Honestly, without knowing anything about this couple, it sounds like they got married because it was the next logical step, not because they were actually in love/committed to being together. Very rarely do you make it 14 years with someone without ending up married long before that anniversary without being opposed to marriage as a whole, even if they started dating in high school/college.

She's probably looking for an "out" of the marriage with a "better" guy that she can actually see herself settling down and having kids with rather than current husband.

Sperging a little, I genuinely think a lot of these "poly" people really haven't found the right person yet and are using poly as an excuse to date around and look without losing their fallback safety net. Not to say all are, but most people want to stop hoe-ing around when they meet the person that ends up their spouse (for better or worse). Sure, some work fine if they're in a holy trinity/unicorn triad sort of deal, but those tend to be monogamously inclined people who just happened to all stumble into being in love with each other as a three-way instead of people who actively seek it out.

TL;DR pal, your wife is cheating on you because she's looking to leave. Consult a lawyer, not reddit.
 
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doyoulikebread said:
What if their partner doesn’t want to be in a poly relationship? What if seeing other people or that person seeing other people actually makes them unhappy? What then?
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The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one. Durr. And if only one person in the ever-shifting galaxy of people who can't maintain a stable relationship is unhappy...well...tough shit. That person and his self-esteem can go fuck each other.
 
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Apparently, Dr. Phil had a fucked up poly trio on his show. As one would expect from a polyamorous couple, the amount of drama here is unbearable to any normal human being...

Of course, the polys are already loosing their shit:
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These people seem to be fking delusional. I am starting to wonder if a good chunk of them have been brainwashed into believing that polyamory is this holy, flawless concept that is inherently superior to any other form of relationships and can never go wrong.
 
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This thread pretty much confirmed everything I thought about poly people. I had a friend in school who was "poly" and he was a strange character. But he was at least honest about it being mostly sex-driven and that he just liked sleeping around.

Maybe he felt he could be honest with me since I'm the monogamous sort and had just lost someone close to me and wasn't interested in romantic pursuits. I wasn't competition in the local "poly scene".

It's weird. Online communities bring out the worst in everyone since there's some privacy there, but these poly people are strange in "real life" as well.
 
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Commander Keen said:
It's weird. Online communities bring out the worst in everyone since there's some privacy there, but these poly people are strange in "real life" as well.
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This is one of the few characteristics that all lolcow communities share (think incels, or bronies, or troons)...
What bothers me about polys is that they often drag innocent people into their clownery, and those people are often their or their partners' children.
 
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Alpha Loves You said:
View attachment 494004
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8xzxrf/what_if_i_dont_want_to_do_this_anymore/
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Whatever works for you is OK, as long as everyone involved consents. That's a fundamental principle. You don't have to keep being poly or non monogamous. You get that choice.

So does your bf. He doesn't have to want to stop just because you want to, or because you don't think he's enjoying it enough. He gets that choice.
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From the comments. Yes, he gets that choice, but polys never consider that someone would expect their longterm partner to care about their feelings. It's everyone for themselves.
 
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