r/polyamory

Obviously Snape said:
It's funny because the red portion is how the family members that cut them off feel too.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/aam1d5/coming_out_changed_my_relationship_with_my/

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If you look at her post history it seems her daughter doesn't approve of her lifestyle either:
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https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/a1mtk4/my_daughter_wont_let_me_see_my_grandson/

She's literally destroying her relationships with her other family over this poly shit.
 
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Are there any statistics about how common are such open relationships in the US?I'm actually curious.Also i imagine their frequency is greatest among people aged below 40 i hope.One other thing what is the difference between polyamourous and simply open relationship?Don't they both imply you can fuck others while being in an official relationship with x person?
 
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iafiv said:
Are there any statistics about how common are such open relationships in the US?I'm actually curious.Also i imagine their frequency is greatest among people aged below 40 i hope.One other thing what is the difference between polyamourous and simply open relationship?Don't they both imply you can fuck others while being in an official relationship with x person?
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I'd recommend just browsing through the rest of this topic. All your questions were brought up at some point.
 
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BigRuler said:
it's really, really weird to see a woman go to such lengths to defend what essentially boils down to her being part of a man's harem
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The difference between gays and polys is that for a long time, nobody knew any gay people, and then they did, and realized gay relationships were just like theirs. But everyone is very familiar with one man having two women, and there's a long negative cultural history there. Of course a 60-70 year old woman is going to think her poor daughter was tricked by her son-in-law into letting him have a mistress. Very rarely do polys acknowledge this.

iafiv said:
Are there any statistics about how common are such open relationships in the US?I'm actually curious.Also i imagine their frequency is greatest among people aged below 40 i hope.One other thing what is the difference between polyamourous and simply open relationship?Don't they both imply you can fuck others while being in an official relationship with x person?
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open: two people who are romantically exclusive but sexually nonexclusive
poly: two people who are neither romantically nor sexually exclusive
 
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Double Dragon said:
Yknow, actually felt bad for this chick until the end. She's either dumb as a brick or there is some serious cognitive dissonance there
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It's a treasure. She doesn't feel valued and he point blank tells her "Don't worry about me, worry about yourself" and "We are not boyfriend and girlfriend" and she's can't connect the dots.
 
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BigRuler said:
"am i unjustified in feeling so much pain and confusion and a bit of anger?"
holy fucking shit this girl is dense. absolutely zero sense of self-worth or self-respect, and either completely oblivious or willfully ignorant to the fact that her "boyfriend" doesn't love or respect her at all. just fucking sad to read this.
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He isn't really the stand out villain in this one (more so than any poly person).

He asks her if he can find other people, she says yes.
He asks her twice and she doesn't take it well; she also suggests that he leave the relationship if he doesn't want to be in it and he does so. This never sinks in for her.

Also check her post history. A crazy person through and through.

If you don't want to wade through, the short version is she's been seeing this new guy for like a month or so and is apparently treating him like shit constantly. She was engaged (at like 19) and cucked the shit out of her fiancee; is now on the receiving end of said cucking in a wonderful twist of irony. Also apparently a young mother who has her baby live with her ex (even though she didn't want a baby, apparently).

Had a really bad past few days where a lot of shit went down. Namely, boyfriend had a girl over and i went off the deep end. I dont hit him. Never have, never will. But when he described how i was making him feel, i realized it sounded exactly how i felt with my exes. My therapist back then explained how thats emotional abuse, and i realized i had changed and had become a woman i dont want to be.

We talked and we dont want to break up, and i know i need to change. He deserves better. And i want to do right by him. I know if i dont change, that he should do whats right for him and leave, and i told him that. I told him im going to change and he does not deserve to be emotionally abused like this.

I already have kind of a game plan, but the gist of what im doing wrong is he doesnt feel safe talking to me. He feels like hes walking on eggshells and had to walk away when i start yelling because he feels im forcing him to fight.

Tldr; ive become my abusers and i want to change. He deserves better. Advice? Questions, comments, concerns?

It ruined my sex life with my ex. When he didnt know, it just wasnt as good and it made it frustrating. After he caught me, he was always trying one up the other guy and asked about what the other guy did and liked.

So in my defense, I haven't cheated, never will (:story: :story: :story:). I am polyamorous, as my boyfriend knows, but it's not something that is going to change my monogomous relationship dynamic. I've been getting close to some of my boyfriend's friends, namely one guy (we'll call him K). K is a great friend and drinking buddy of ours but lately when we drink together I get really horny and start wanting attention from both K and my boyfriend. It's gotten to a point where recently I've been wanting him while I'm sober. I guess hearing all his sexcapades and hearing all the kinks and things he's done that my boyfriend won't do just turns me on to a point where I start feeling guilty. Even now I'm sitting in a room with them both trying to control my hormones while my boyfriend plays his videogame and K actually gives me attention. K is jealous of my boyfriend and I's sex life but honestly I'm jealous of K's exes.

Comment Section - "We're actually engaged, we just don't tell many people (I actually get embarrassed because he asked me like 3 months in and I said yes because I didn't want to say no)"
 
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iafiv said:
One other thing what is the difference between polyamourous and simply open relationship?Don't they both imply you can fuck others while being in an official relationship with x person?
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Open relationships tend to be more about instant gratification. Its more about Sex then actuall "love" mostly seeking to satisfy a sexual desire and nothing more. People in open relationships tend do more fetish related stuff with there other partner. As for poly its about emotional satisfaction. If you go through this thread long enough you will see that most people who are in poly-realationships open it up after they have been together a while and that is because it focuses mainly on that feeling of being desired that slowly is lost in relationships you been in long enough. In other words is about trying not feel like you are taken for granted.
 
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I wonder if that is actually true or if quite a few persons in polywhatevers are trying to justify orgies and fucking as many people as they want with the veneer of so called 'emotional satisfaction' in order to bring some 'respectability'.It does sound more 'okish' to say 'I'm doing this because it improves my relation and makes me a more emotionally stable person' than simply saying 'Oh i just like to dick/pussy and can't get enough of it'.There's also the thing that quite a few people might not have actually read the 'definitions' and they might be using the term poly because they heard of it and its fashionable.I doubt Joe Nobody from Whereisthat Indiana spent time actually reading up on what these terms mean and how they apply.Very few people actually know about the Kinsey Institute for example.
 
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iafiv said:
It does sound more 'okish' to say 'I'm doing this because it improves my relation and make me a more emotionally stable person' than simply saying 'Oh i just like to dick/pussy and can't get enough of it'.
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I’ve never understood the reasoning wherein having a very unstable lifestyle makes someone’s life more emotionally stable in any way, shape, or form. If your love/sex life consists of a fruitlessly revolving door, then you simply don’t have the time to make long-term goals and future plans relating to it. It also spectacularly fucks up your previously-established commitments and goals, as demonstrated over and over again in this thread.
 
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BigRuler said:
i wonder if she will ever realize that the whole poly shit is just inherently volatile and unstable, and that there's many good reasons why non-monogamy has been frowned upon and outlawed for hundreds and hundreds of years?
tolerating that stuff in your life is an almost guaranteed way to suffering and failure.
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She realized it immediately; she just didn't have the spine to say "No" at any point. When he flirted with girls she felt uncomfortable and didn't like it, she reluctantly let him do it. When it moved to him sleeping with other girls, she let him do it and hoped that he wouldn't fall for any of them. When he did anyway and suggested a three-way couple, she felt compelled to write a reddit post for help instead of realizing she's sliding down into unhappiness and has been for eight years.

Edit - She admits to not even wanting a 3-way relationship, she was like "yeah, whatever like that will ever happen" and left it at that, only to find that it was going to happen.
 
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