r/polyamory

[Boss Bass]

Sounds like the little kid needs to learn about compersion and stuff that jealousy deep down inside like a good metamour.

This might be the first mother/child or father/child relationship destroyed by polyamory, instead of the usual Boyfriend/Girlfriend or Husband/Wife relationship.

You clearly missed the one where the dad slapped his teenaged daughter for “overreacting” when she walked in on him and his “meta”

 

[AprilRains]

You clearly missed the one where the dad slapped his teenaged daughter for “overreacting” when she walked in on him and his “meta”

Were I that girl's mother, I'd have beaten that man until he couldn't crawl, see, or cry.

 

[Vorhtbame]

A tale in two parts.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9k4kfc/question_about_sleepovers/ (http://archive.is/2NPKj)


https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9olhdl/my_partner_isnt_listening/ (http://archive.is/G2qjn)


10 years dissolved in 6 months or less.

I'm glad she found her spine, at last. Maybe she'll learn from it and not set up housekeeping with a man who doesn't want to be married to her.

 

[Tanner Glass]

A bit of a retro look at a r/polyamory poster with another r/nicegirls crossover.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/97zett/do_i_have_a_right_to_be_upset/ (http://archive.is/1URBK)

my partner (22M) and I (23F) have not said we are in a polyamorous relationship yet, but I have told him I am poly and would like to have a poly relationship. He doesn’t know much about what it means so I have been educating him.

(I am seeing a girl completely separately from him and he knows about her)

We’ve been attached at the hip for like 3 weeks. Until now. When I first started talking to him a month ago I was aware he had a long distance open thing with a girl from London for a year

I told him I’d leave him alone and give him space with her.

All from two months ago, not sure why she is unsure if she's poly because she is clearly in a poly relationship. She is this guy's secondary and she's got her own thing on the side. Seems poly to me (and I've become a bit of an expert now). Let's look forward a month and see how it worked out.

Spoiler: One Month Later

so fucking sick of being a poly person dating mono people that aren’t actually mono because they’re seeing other people but aren’t poly either cuz they arent doing it fucking right

seems like i’m the only person that believes in full transparency honesty and communication

sick of putting myself out there only to be treated like a fucking side chick when i’m the one that’s here for them

Oh.

I wonder why our unnamed protagonist seemed to choose the London girl over our storyteller?

my bpd life in a nutshell - here let me just shower you/overwhelm you with compliments, love, and affection !! i have a constant need/desire for sex, attention, and validation !! let’s get married !! right now !! if you don’t give me those things in return for everything i do for you i’m going to fucking kill myself tonight !!

I got my thyroid levels checked and... Everything is normal. I’m absolutely shocked. I have so many of the symptoms. I so badly wanted this to be what was wrong with me. Guess I’m just fucking crazy. I feel like I’m going to be broken forever.

i had to delete instagram. It gave me so much anxiety. Every time I lost a bunch of followers or didn’t get as many likes on a picture I’d spiral and want to kill myself

if we’re not too floored by the molly.

Oh. I guess he didn't want to be with the BPD, anxious, crazy, suicide threatening, drug using, maybe poly chick? I'd love to hear his version of this story about how off the rails this girl when when they were only casually dating for three weeks.

 

[QB 290]

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9olhdl/my_partner_isnt_listening/

It's pretty clear that Polyamory is just code for "I'm a horrible person"

 

[Tanner Glass]

It's pretty clear that Polyamory is just code for "I'm a horrible person"

I was going to rate you :late: because we hit that one last page, but I saw this comment and figured it would be a good segue into one of the more unabashedly awful posts I've seen on that subreddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9oyixa/cheating_partner_wants_only_poly/ (http://archive.is/DQlWv)

I recently found out that my husband has been cheating on me for over a year. Upon being exposed, he stated that he will not be monogamous any longer.

To back up a bit, summer of 2017 I was pregnant and he was desiring more sex than I was able to give due to general pregnancy discomfort.

We have occasionally opened up our marriage on his side only, and I have gone along with it to make him happy (and have since discovered as a way to punish myself - which my husband is very much aware of)

After a month he suggests that I join them in a threesome, and he makes a promise to buy something I have been wanting if i do it. So we end up having a few not enjoyable at all threesomes.

... extra anxiety meds just to get through the ordeal. Suffice it to say I did not enjoy them at all.

I ask him to call it off. He does.

He tells me once I find about a weeks worth of texts that he had only been cheating with her for two weeks

I come across more evidence that he has actually been lying to me the entire time

He bought her a house last winter

They have grown very close despite her being half my husbands age

he also says he loves her and he will not end things with her no matter what. He says it is my choice if I want to leave the marriage

we have kids and have been together 20 years

I ask him if he sees us as equals and he says he doesn’t

He also did something (certain kind of threesome[Tanner Note : Probably a MMF threesome]) with her that he told me he would never do with anyone but me. He had not done it before and never has with me.

He gave that experience to her even though I had been there for him through all of his struggles surrounding that. That betrayal is one of the worst

TL;DR - Wife of 20 years (while pregnant) gives husband a temporary and conditional hall pass with what is basically an escort half his age because she feels bad she cannot have sex with him due to the pregnancy. She asks him to call it off and he says he does, but he never actually does and goes so far as to buy the escort a house on the side while lying to his wife the whole time - a year and a half. Husband turns around when finally caught and basically "I'm not going to leave her now, take it or leave it" to his wife of 20 years and at least one very small child.

 

[Krokodil Overdose]

Time to solve their problem: arranged marriages; divorce is crime!

"Tradition is the solution to problems we didn't know we had."

 

[Vorhtbame]

View attachment 569291
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9olhdl/my_partner_isnt_listening/

It's pretty clear that Polyamory is just code for "I'm a horrible person"

Saw this one upthread already. However, this is another thought:

Someone who turns his bad acts around and blames the person on the receiving end is not someone you want to be with. Additionally, it is not possible that he hasn't already acted this way, repeatedly, toward her in ten years.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Saw this one upthread already. However, this is another thought:

Someone who turns his bad acts around and blames the person on the receiving end is not someone you want to be with. Additionally, it is not possible that he hasn't already acted this way, repeatedly, toward her in ten years.

In the same vein, re-reading that post and several others.

Polyamory sure looks like the relationship version of staying in a job while the company is training your replacement.

 

[Vorhtbame]

In the same vein, re-reading that post and several others.

Polyamory sure looks like the relationship version of staying in a job while the company is training your replacement.

While your boss denies you pay and benefits.

 

[sperginity]

goes so far as to buy the escort a house on the side while lying to his wife the whole time -

The grossest part, to me, was that he was trying to pressure his wife into unwanted threesomes with the reward of buying something she's wanted for a long time, yet bought the other woman a fucking house.

It's evident that he doesn't allow his wife to know the family's finances, uses money as leverage. That is the type of shit they put in those "is your husband abusing you?" pamphlets as examples of unacceptable behavior. I guarantee his wife hardly buys anything except for food and essentials.

 

[Hellbound Hellhound]

I'm willing to be charitable and accept that polyamory might work for some people, but there is a very crucial reason why it is not optimal for relationships, and it all comes down to an issue of focus and dedication. If you commit yourself to an intimate relationship with one person, then all of your focus and dedication will be spent on making the relationship work between you, but if you commit yourself to a relationship with more than one person, your focus and dedication has to be divided between them.

This raises two problems: 1) Humans have a limited capacity for intimacy, and the fact that the intimacy has to be shared among multiple people means that the experience is diminished for each new person. 2) Humans are naturally envious, and if the perception arises that the intimacy is being shared unevenly, then jealously will creep in and ruin the experience for everyone.

 

[AprilRains]

I think you've got a critical detail wrong. Poly people focus not on their many partners, but on themselves. They seem to care only for what they want in the moment. No relationship can survive that.

 

[FierceBrosnan]

I think you've got a critical detail wrong. Poly people focus not on their many partners, but on themselves. They seem to care only for what they want in the moment. No relationship can survive that.

I think the their focus on their partners is just enough to keep them on the hook for sex and whatnot. It's just the bare minimum of emotional investment with a nice dose of gaslighting to keep their partners around.

 

[AprilRains]

I think the their focus on their partners is just enough to keep them on the hook for sex and whatnot. It's just the bare minimum of emotional investment with a nice dose of gaslighting to keep their partners around.

Exactly. One's partners are for sexual fun, financial convenience, and validation, in no particular order.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Skimming for content on the subreddit I was able to find a full polyamory journey for one man, let's see how it works out for him.

Starting 3 years ago on an Online Affair subreddit (wtf?) https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineAffa...f_being_ignored_even_today_being_my_birthday/ (http://archive.is/NKr6b)

Well, even with today being my birthday I was pretty much ignored. I am looking for some to fill that void. Looking for someone that is missing the same thing.

I am father of 3 girls and 2 are teenagers and 1 preteen. Yes, heaven help me!

Rocky marriage, three kids. Already starting off on a high point.

Two years later it looks like then went from kind of swinging to full on poly, although the wife didn't take to it initially.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/7u4t01/partner_is_having_a_hard_time_with_this_all/ (http://archive.is/9t531)

Right now, wife is still not dating anyone or even wanting too. She is in a monogamous stance if you want to call it that. She suggested that we go see her counselor to work on our marriage some more.

... she finally agreed to it. So, now I have a LDGF[Tanner Note : LDGF is Long Distance Girlfriend] and my wife. Things are going fine, wife and I are still working on communication with each other.

So, he has a side chick now and he is working out the issues with his wife - a happy ending?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8f5cos/anyone_else_run_into_these_feelings/ (http://archive.is/D6XjV) - 6 months later

I am just having one of those days, where I am feeling very unwanted or unneeded. Nothing happened today, just feeling having those feelings. I am trying to hide those feelings so I don't have to explain myself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/87uax4/dating/ (http://archive.is/ltwU4) - same time

I have been using OKC, POF, Tindr, and Feeld for apps, trying to find someone local. Also, have used polymatchmaking.com and fetlife too. Anyone know of any other possible apps or sites that they have had good luck with? Heck, I have even used/r/polyamoryR4R...

I have my age range set for 25-45 or so. I get the whole standards thing too.

So it looks like it isn't exactly working out, but at least his wife is mono?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9hj6wm/brick_wall_after_brick_wall/ (http://archive.is/OYMiQ) - 1 month ago

I am struggling, wife is happy with her guys and I am sitting here just running into brick wall after brick wall in the dating world.

She has two amazing guys in her life, and I am just sitting here just hitting every brick wall possible. I have even been OK with LDRs.

I have been struggling to find someone myself. Wife is having all the luck and I am not.

I am in Poly FB groups, I have tried dating apps, those suck. I have just tried to be myself, honest, and open.

Yep, I went on a date with a gal that was that way. We hit it off over text and said she would be fine with it. Then after the date, she said nope and changed her mind and just stopped talk to me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9p2u3t/effort/(http://archive.is/GBIKc) - today

Does anyone else hate it when your making all the effort and you get zero effort back? That is how I am feeling right now and it sucks big time! Sorry for venting!

TL;DR - Guy was willing to cheat on his wife, turned it into poly so he could get more needed love and affection. This did not happen as his wife and LDGF ignore him frequently especially as the wife now has two extra boyfriends that she is super happy with.

Spoiler: In case you wanted to know what a 42yo poly man looks like.

Spoiler: Here he is naked - if you want to see what the young poly girls are missing out on.

Don't rate me :islamic: or :horrifying: - you clicked through two spoiler tags nigga.

 

[chunkygoth]

"Tradition is the solution to problems we didn't know we had."

who would have thought that thousands of years of human society figured out this problem before us?

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Skimming for content on the subreddit I was able to find a full polyamory journey for one man, let's see how it works out for him.

Starting 3 years ago on an Online Affair subreddit (wtf?) https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineAffa...f_being_ignored_even_today_being_my_birthday/ (http://archive.is/NKr6b)




Rocky marriage, three kids. Already starting off on a high point.

Two years later it looks like then went from kind of swinging to full on poly, although the wife didn't take to it initially.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/7u4t01/partner_is_having_a_hard_time_with_this_all/ (http://archive.is/9t531)



So, he has a side chick now and he is working out the issues with his wife - a happy ending?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8f5cos/anyone_else_run_into_these_feelings/ (http://archive.is/D6XjV) - 6 months later


https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/87uax4/dating/ (http://archive.is/ltwU4) - same time



So it looks like it isn't exactly working out, but at least his wife is mono?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9hj6wm/brick_wall_after_brick_wall/ (http://archive.is/OYMiQ) - 1 month ago






https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9p2u3t/effort/(http://archive.is/GBIKc) - today


TL;DR - Guy was willing to cheat on his wife, turned it into poly so he could get more needed love and affection. This did not happen as his wife and LDGF ignore him frequently especially as the wife now has two extra boyfriends that she is super happy with.

Spoiler: In case you wanted to know what a 42yo poly man looks like.

View attachment 571128

Spoiler: Here he is naked - if you want to see what the young poly girls are missing out on.

Don't rate me :islamic: or :horrifying: - you clicked through two spoiler tags nigga.
View attachment 571130

Absolutely beautiful. I've always considered polygamists to be the kind of people who like to have their cake and eat it, too. Looks like this guy took that literally.

 

[KE 521]

Skimming for content on the subreddit I was able to find a full polyamory journey for one man, let's see how it works out for him.

Starting 3 years ago on an Online Affair subreddit (wtf?) https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlineAffa...f_being_ignored_even_today_being_my_birthday/ (http://archive.is/NKr6b)




Rocky marriage, three kids. Already starting off on a high point.

Two years later it looks like then went from kind of swinging to full on poly, although the wife didn't take to it initially.
https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/7u4t01/partner_is_having_a_hard_time_with_this_all/ (http://archive.is/9t531)



So, he has a side chick now and he is working out the issues with his wife - a happy ending?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/8f5cos/anyone_else_run_into_these_feelings/ (http://archive.is/D6XjV) - 6 months later


https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/87uax4/dating/ (http://archive.is/ltwU4) - same time



So it looks like it isn't exactly working out, but at least his wife is mono?

https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9hj6wm/brick_wall_after_brick_wall/ (http://archive.is/OYMiQ) - 1 month ago






https://www.reddit.com/r/polyamory/comments/9p2u3t/effort/(http://archive.is/GBIKc) - today


TL;DR - Guy was willing to cheat on his wife, turned it into poly so he could get more needed love and affection. This did not happen as his wife and LDGF ignore him frequently especially as the wife now has two extra boyfriends that she is super happy with.

Spoiler: In case you wanted to know what a 42yo poly man looks like.

View attachment 571128

Spoiler: Here he is naked - if you want to see what the young poly girls are missing out on.

Don't rate me :islamic: or :horrifying: - you clicked through two spoiler tags nigga.
View attachment 571130

Where the fuck is his dick (literally)

 

[Someone in a Tree]

Where the fuck is his dick (literally)

Not in his wife.