Ralph's Height

Are you taller than Ralph?

  • Yes

    Votes: 351 97.5%

  • No

    Votes: 9 2.5%
  • Total voters
    360
The gunted goblin claims “Uhhh 5’-8” or 5’-9””

First, any adult says some ambiguous number for their height, they are lying. what functioning grown man does not know their exact height? What does his height change with the gravitational pull of the moon?
A lie right there.
Second, the sentient pile of rancid sewer grease claims or claimed a weight of “275”. That weight on the supposed frame would not result in that perverse abomination of the human form.
I’m 6’ 1”, I’ve let myself go a bit, I just weighed in and I’m 268 lbs. There is no fucking way 4” is the difference between my physique and that misshapen proof of eugenics. Granted, i have a lot more brawn on me while he has the muscle tone of a bed ridden ninety year old.I saw the gunt try to flex his arm once, there was not a hint of definition of anything.
To wrap this up, he is a lying sack of shit, who is too stupid to realize his claims do not add up.
 
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I love that just people knowing he's five foot 1 even though this can't effect his bottom line still drives short little piggy into such sheer periodic rage. He probably actually shits himself and let's it roll onto the floor everytime he remembers it
 
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Not Even Twice said:
Does the police measure your size without your shoes on? Maybe that is why they are the only ones with the correct number.

Ralph always were something that gives him about 2 inches more, like those ridiculous Timberlands he can't tie because he's fat.
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He may have had his flip flops on that day.

I'm convinced that the height inaccuracies in pictures vs the police getting an accurate measurement on spot are due to three things:

1. Lifts in his shoes. Easily found on Amazon for $10-15. Can add a couple of inches without looking weird due to their shape/slope.

2. Forced perspective. PlasticOwl's break down caused me to realize that Ethan was standing back further from Dick than I thought he was and Dick probably isn't even touching him. Too many ladies hunching over in group pics or doing the Shoe crouch to make him look taller while Mantsu just towers over him. Whatever the hell he did in that Warski photo to look giant. Gunt has spent years mastering these little techniques to look like less of a manlet.

3. Tippy toes. Also confirmed in the Dick photo.

Doing all three of the above gets him to 5' 5"-6" from 5' 1".
 
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break these cuffs said:
He could snap a selfie of himself at a convenience store or Home Depot in front of the measuring marks they use for criminals and end this. He flat out refuses.
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That's no different from anything else he's done because he can easily fake that too. For example, if he's taking a selfie, he could be standing on a box of soda cans to get the height he wants. No picture of him in Timberlands can be used for measurements since those add like 3 inches alone.
 
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Sam Losco said:
That's no different from anything else he's done because he can easily fake that too. For example, if he's taking a selfie, he could be standing on a box of soda cans to get the height he wants. No picture of him in Timberlands can be used for measurements since those add like 3 inches alone.
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True, there is no way his stubby arms could get an angle that would show his height and feet. You'd have to estimate the height because it wouldn't be spot on, but it would clearly show 5' 1" vs 5' 7" er I mean 5' 8" er I mean 5' 9". Get his horse to do it. As long as there is a clear shot of his entire body in front of a known 3rd party measuring device, all the bs he'd try to pull to fake it can be accounted for.

He won't take a clear picture next to a known height because he knows he's a midget and that's all there is to it.
 
Through my federal contacts I have received a real copy of his drivers license.
Untitled-1.png



Arresting officer: "Your pig-slit eyes are blue?"
Gunt: "THEY'RE NOT BLUE AS A MATTER OF FACT NO ITS NOT BLUE NO ITS NOT BLUE FUCK YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF SHIT FAGGOT MOTHERFUCKER NO ITS NOT BLUE PIECE OF SHIT
 
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break these cuffs said:
True, there is no way his stubby arms could get an angle that would show his height and feet. You'd have to estimate the height because it wouldn't be spot on, but it would clearly show 5' 1" vs 5' 7" er I mean 5' 8" er I mean 5' 9". Get his horse to do it. As long as there is a clear shot of his entire body in front of a known 3rd party measuring device, all the bs he'd try to pull to fake it can be accounted for.

He won't take a clear picture next to a known height because he knows he's a midget and that's all there is to it.
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The most damaging thing an Alog could do to Ralph at this point is to stand next to him with a ranging pole or a rule and get a straight-on picture.

There is nothing that the gunt values more than his ego
 
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MeltyTW said:
I love that just people knowing he's five foot 1 even though this can't effect his bottom line still drives short little piggy into such sheer periodic rage. He probably actually shits himself and let's it roll onto the floor everytime he remembers it
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There's nothing funnier than triggered tards rebelling impotently against literal physical reality. It's hilarious when troons do it, it's hilarious when piggy little midgets do it.
Canine with Fangs said:
It's because he's something like 5'4 or 5'5 at best, do even if he proves he's not 5'1 he's still proving he's a fat dwarf
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He's not satisfied with that, though. He has to prove he's an absolute fool by claiming to be 5'10" or something that even Stevie Wonder could see is absolute bullshit or, more properly, pigshit.
 
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Canine with Fangs said:
It's because he's something like 5'4 or 5'5 at best, do even if he proves he's not 5'1 he's still proving he's a fat dwarf
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I think that he really is 5'1" maybe 5'2-3" with shoes on. That is why it bothers him so damn much. I am 6' and if someone said I was 5'5"... I wouldn't actually care. It's wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
 
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AnOminous said:
There's nothing funnier than triggered tards rebelling impotently against literal physical reality. It's hilarious when troons do it, it's hilarious when piggy little midgets do it.

He's not satisfied with that, though. He has to prove he's an absolute fool by claiming to be 5'10" or something that even Stevie Wonder could see is absolute bullshit or, more properly, pigshit.
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This is it. There's a world where he had the humility to say 'yeah, i'm short' and then everyone shut the fuck up. He could've lived that.
 
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Baldur's Revenge said:
I think that he really is 5'1" maybe 5'2-3" with shoes on. That is why it bothers him so damn much. I am 6' and if someone said I was 5'5"... I wouldn't actually care. It's wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
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This is also why I think he's a lot closer to 5'1" than 5'10", though I'll be generous and give him anywhere up to 5'6". He's obviously got little man syndrome bad. Nobody approaching normal height would be that sensitive about it.

He had literally the same reaction to the sharting incident. Right down to expelling a fellow Internet personality he didn't like too much to begin with for making fun of him on twitter after calling them a snake (first time Nicky Reks, this time Pod Awful Jesse). Like the sharting incident I think it's because the thing they are making fun of him is not entirely true, but it's more than in the ballpark. The noise Ralph made may not have been him sharting.... but his drawers almost certainly were not pristine by the end of the stream. Ralph isn't 5'1".... but he's close, and has been lying about his height by multiple inches for some time.
 
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