Ralph's Height

[Cup Noodle]

I think it's because he got caught when he claimed 6'0 or 5'11 years ago. It's relatively common for a dude to add an extra inch to their height, but not fucking 6 inches (assuming he's 5'5 and not 5'1, which he is 5'1)

I'm 6'3" and a half or three quarters according to how I slept the previous night and how early or late in the day it is. I claim six four all day with no regrets. Ralph couldn't muster 5'2" if he lost all of the weight compressing his spine much less 5'11"

 

[MeltyTW]

I'm 6'3" and a half or three quarters according to how I slept the previous night and how early or late in the day it is. I claim six four all day with no regrets. Ralph couldn't muster 5'2" if he lost all of the weight compressing his spine much less 5'11"

i think his fucked body is actually a result of a near toddler tier body supporting tons of rings of pure concentrated fat mass rings stacked on top of each other. similar to this representation of a hypersphere in 4d, a hypergunt if you will.

so its actually possible imo that hell become shorter if he loses all that weight.

 

[SargonF00t]

I was tempted to make the choices both Yes since unless you are a child, a short woman, or actual midget, you're taller than Ralph.

Or unless you are Beardson

 

[Retrodogkiller]

Since this thread got revived and some recent pictures got posted in Mays thread. I'm 99% sure Ralph actually does use heel inserts in his boots. It would also make sense how he can go from looking 4'9" to 5'8" in different photos and every height in between. Your average shoe adds 1/2 inch to 1 inch height while boots usually add 2 inches, sometimes more depending on the style. Pair that with heel raisers that go up to 4.5 inches, Ralph can appear to be anywhere from 60 to 66.5 inches depending on his footwear.

 

[rage against modernity]

The gunt becomes the violent one, 500 pounds and 5 foot 1.

 

[earthbar]

When/if he's booked into the slammer in a month's time, will those records be publically accessable?

 

[AnOminous]

Pair that with heel raisers that go up to 4.5 inches, Ralph can appear to be anywhere from 60 to 66.5 inches depending on his footwear.

He could literally be on stilts and would never look an inch over 5'1".

 

[There Is Light At The End]

Well, I am 185 centimetres. According to converter it's 6' 06955" I think to have an eye contact I need to present a manual on how to do it

 

[Ethan Ralph is 5'1" 🖕💋]

Ralph is being alogged by Japan now.
It's really not been his month.

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/pro-gamer-fired-making-disparaging-115916760.html

 

[UCantCCPMe]

Ralph could gain about an inch or so if he didn't have that mound of flesh hanging from his stomach. I'm sure the metric ton of gunt keeps him from standing up straight, so even if he was 5'9", he'll always look shorter due to being hunched over like a gorilla carrying that belly fannypack. Ralph, just be honest. The closest you will ever come to being 5'9" is if you change your name to Royce.

 

[Telemeter]

I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.

 

[MeltyTW]

I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
View attachment 3241332

oh speaking of this do you think he realizes that by openly feeling the need to offer "proof" after two measurings on video just acts as an admission the previous "proof" was shaky and not reliable and outright falsified? if he felt so confident in the first and second measurings (despite not seeing the bottom of the measuring tape either time lol) and its so obviously unture why keep on and on as if you hadnt satisfied with evidence?

 

[Zaryiu2]

According to my calculations based on that photo we have of Ralph holding the trophy he brought himself i almost have have found Ralph true height, anyone know what he was wering them and how many inches that add? Depending on what he wore then he might be an actual midget at 4'8"

 

[Retrodogkiller]

According to my calculations based on that photo we have of Ralph holding the trophy he brought himself i almost have have found Ralph true height, anyone know what he was wering them and how many inches that add? Depending on what he wore then he might be an actual midget at 4'8"

Ralph was in knock off timbs that have 2.5 inches of lift with the heel, sole and insoles. He might even have those inserts to. I think he's 4'9" as I've autistically explained before.

 

[Zaryiu2]

Ralph was in knock off timbs that have 2.5 inches of lift with the heel, sole and insoles. He might even have those inserts to. I think he's 4'9" as I've autistically explained before.

Well using inchcalculator.com i almost got that result, i got 4' 9" and a 1/2 inch so Ralph IS on the border between manlet and midget

 

[Keranu]

I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
View attachment 3241332

@Wine em Dine em 69 em Ralph has a great view of the sex offender shack from his back yard lot.

 

[Weeb Slinger]

If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.

I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the trotter.

After 30 seconds of diligent online research, I discovered that the average pig foot is 6.5-9 inches long. I have standardised the trotter at 8 inches (8 being a lucky number for those who were born in the Chinese year of the pig).

In human terms, Ralph is 5ft1 or 61 inches, when you deprive him of his lifts. That's a remarkable 7.625 trotters, but it gets even more impressive: A further 30 seconds of diligent online research reveals the average height of the domestic pig to be between 20 and 38 inches, or 2.5 - 4.75 trotters, making Ralph a veritable goliath among his species.

At this point Ralph should shake off his last vestiges of humanity and go and live in the swamp among his own kind. He would get to roll around in shit all day. He could even end up like the pig below, who had the Louis Vuitton logo tattooed onto its skin by a degenerate Belgian.

 

[PlasticOwls]

I noticed Gunt made the mistake of standing next to his grill. Autism ensued.
View attachment 3241332

I'm very proud of Kiwi Farms for, somehow, not only continuing this discussion of a manlet's height, but individually proving his height at least 6 different ways, one involving a cheap-ass microphone photoshopped and cropped adjacent to eleven of his disembodied, fat, head.

Optimistic of me, but I'm still shocked he's still sticking to his 5' 11 stchick. You can't more blatant outside printing the entirety of this thread and shoving it in his face.

If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.

I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the trotter.

After 30 seconds of diligent online research, I discovered that the average pig foot is 6.5-9 inches long. I have standardised the trotter at 8 inches (8 being a lucky number for those who were born in the Chinese year of the pig).

In human terms, Ralph is 5ft1 or 61 inches, when you deprive him of his lifts. That's a remarkable 7.625 trotters, but it gets even more impressive: A further 30 seconds of diligent online research reveals the average height of the domestic pig to be between 20 and 38 inches, or 2.5 - 4.75 trotters, making Ralph a veritable goliath among his species.

At this point Ralph should shake off his last vestiges of humanity and go and live in the swamp among his own kind. He would get to roll around in shit all day. He could even end up like the pig below, who had the Louis Vuitton logo tattooed onto its skin by a degenerate Belgian.

View attachment 3264148

Quoted from an article written about the domesticated pig from livescience published in 2018:

"Pigs usually weigh between 300 and 700 lbs. (140 and 300 kilograms), but domestic pigs are often bred to be heavier."

When the thread was at its 'BMI and visual analysis of fat distribution' phase, I pointed out that were Ralph really 5'11, he'd unironically be over 500 pounds.

So in retrospect, he'd be not only the perfect length for a pig, he'd be one of the skinnier ones if he really wants to be 5'11. Win-win for him?

Edit; somehow accidentally double posted, but the merge fucked up the double post into repeating itself

 

[AltisticRight]

Ralph is being alogged by Japan now.
It's really not been his month.

View attachment 2998848
View attachment 2998849

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/pro-gamer-fired-making-disparaging-115916760.html

She's based.

If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.

I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the trotter.

After 30 seconds of diligent online research, I discovered that the average pig foot is 6.5-9 inches long. I have standardised the trotter at 8 inches (8 being a lucky number for those who were born in the Chinese year of the pig).

In human terms, Ralph is 5ft1 or 61 inches, when you deprive him of his lifts. That's a remarkable 7.625 trotters, but it gets even more impressive: A further 30 seconds of diligent online research reveals the average height of the domestic pig to be between 20 and 38 inches, or 2.5 - 4.75 trotters, making Ralph a veritable goliath among his species.

At this point Ralph should shake off his last vestiges of humanity and go and live in the swamp among his own kind. He would get to roll around in shit all day. He could even end up like the pig below, who had the Louis Vuitton logo tattooed onto its skin by a degenerate Belgian.

View attachment 3264148

Holy fuck only people in rural China would stamp the Louis Vuitton monogram all over a pig. The pig wearing all those logos, much like Ethan Ralph with his gay purse.
Oh wait.

 

[Capt. Jean Luc Ritard]

If we yield to the overwhelming evidence that Ralph is more pig than man, then it seems unfair for us to judge his height against members of a completely different species.

I propose that, in the spirit of empathy and compassion for which the Kiwi Farms is renowned across the Internet, Ralph's height should be recorded in a new, pig-focused metric that I have named the trotter.

After 30 seconds of diligent online research, I discovered that the average pig foot is 6.5-9 inches long. I have standardised the trotter at 8 inches (8 being a lucky number for those who were born in the Chinese year of the pig).

In human terms, Ralph is 5ft1 or 61 inches, when you deprive him of his lifts. That's a remarkable 7.625 trotters, but it gets even more impressive: A further 30 seconds of diligent online research reveals the average height of the domestic pig to be between 20 and 38 inches, or 2.5 - 4.75 trotters, making Ralph a veritable goliath among his species.

At this point Ralph should shake off his last vestiges of humanity and go and live in the swamp among his own kind. He would get to roll around in shit all day. He could even end up like the pig below, who had the Louis Vuitton logo tattooed onto its skin by a degenerate Belgian.

View attachment 3264148

Suueeee Vuitton