Ralph's Height

Are you taller than Ralph?

  • Yes

    Votes: 351 97.5%

  • No

    Votes: 9 2.5%
  • Total voters
    360
Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'6''.
Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
1617716260387.png

I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.
 
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Ayaa said:
The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.
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They're all engaged in pure manlet behavior because actual men would not behave this way. So it is not surprising they would all be one or more standard deviations beneath normal height.
 
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Ayaa said:
The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.
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I mean even accepting some of the higher of Ralph's bs height claims gator and Riley etc are still confirmed short as fuck so that unlikelihood is already confirmed to have happened against odds no matter where you believe Ralph's height is
 
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Ayaa said:
The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.
Click to expand...
Manletdom is a debilitating condition that affects someone psychologically as well as physically. You can observe phenomena such as bursts of hilariously impotent, unnecessary anger commonly known as "Manlet Rage" or the historical Napoleon Complex. It's not out of the cards that being an attention whore eceleb wannabe lolcow is related to some other unresearched symptom related to this condition.
 
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AltisticRight said:
Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'5''.
Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
View attachment 2063733
I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.
Click to expand...
Pretty sure the cop car in the back in a newer model Crown Vic but I'm not a carfag. Wikipedia tells me its 56.8 inches (1.443 m) tall. I don't know the make or model of the other two cars though, but at least we have something semi-concrete to base Ralph's height on.
 
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PhoBingas said:
but at least we have something semi-concrete to base Ralph's height on.
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We know he's 3 feet, 6 inches from the top of his head to his knees since he has that mic next to his head every night. That's something concrete. It depends on how long his tibia/fibula are and we can nail down his height. I'm saying 5'1.
 
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Zelos Wilder said:
I saw Ralph out behind an Arbys and he was like 4'6 at the most.
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I bet you're lying. Prove it. Can Ethan Ralph suck your dick without kneeling?
MeltyTW said:
I mean even accepting some of the higher of Ralph's bs height claims gator and Riley etc are still confirmed short as fuck so that unlikelihood is already confirmed to have happened against odds no matter where you believe Ralph's height is
Click to expand...
They're all shorter than even average chicks. They're manlets. Manlets are sad creatures and they act this way.
 
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Perhaps Ralph really is the height he claims but the gunts power forces him into it so to the world he looks more compact?
 
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Ayaa said:
The only thing that makes me doubt the 5'1" theory is that it would mean Gator, Riley and Warski are all at least under 5'3". Like how all this people that interact each other happen to be so short? I don't say it's impossible but I don't know it's weird. I rarely see men under like 5'4" and it's already quite short.
Click to expand...
Dunno who or what this Gator looks like, but Warski is legitimately shorter than Ralph.

Edit: Gator somehow looks like a bigger neckbeard than Quentin Reviews, and the idea of a neckbeard being as short as Warski and Ethan is hilarious
 
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AltisticRight said:
Well, as a PhD in guntology, my analysis points to 4'10'' - 5'5''.
Can't be bothered to do the wheel right now. I'd appreciate if anyone can find the model of any one of these cars:
View attachment 2063733
I'm sure the wheels are supposed to be 18 inches in diameter, it's regulated by the state, but let's be 1000% sure.
Click to expand...
The problem with using that photo is the reference objects are pretty far away. If he was right next the car or the cones we could just stack them on top of each other I think using the tire is pretty ingenious though because you can guarantee it's 18 inches but because of the distance from them it would be hard to blow the tires up to their actual size.
 
Wish I were unemployed so I could meet Ralph at a bar or something and settle the height question once and for all. He's only a little drive away from me. Any suggestions on how best to document his height in-person?
 
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Moral plague said:
Wish I were unemployed so I could meet Ralph at a bar or something and settle the height question once and for all. He's only a little drive away from me. Any suggestions on how best to document his height in-person?
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Do you really need to be unemployed to see him? I say get a friend to film and you walk up behind him with a tape measure. Another way to be sneaky would be put marks or buttons on your clothing at heights you know.
 
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