Containment Random Chris Updates

Jah Hates Kaffirs said:
Can...
Can Chris still mass debate?
Is that a question I want to know the answer to?
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I would say NO, not jerking off in the usual sense unless he was presented with the porno of his dreams, and possibly not even then. I doubt he'd even be able to sustain an erection long enough to cross the finish line if Aphrodite herself came down from Olympus wearing a unicorn horn and a silk banner with 'fill my china, Chris-Chan' written on it. He's done to much damage to his sex drive with the titty skittles and horrible diet.

He never had a very strong sex drive to begin with once past the teenage 'I have to fuck a girl or I'm not a man' hormonal surges stage, and his bent duck made jacking it somewhat painful to begin with.
 
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Coming soon: TSSSF 2: Sonic Boogaloo
 
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The Un-Clit said:
I would say NO, not jerking off in the usual sense unless he was presented with the porno of his dreams, and possibly not even then. I doubt he'd even be able to sustain an erection long enough to cross the finish line if Aphrodite herself came down from Olympus wearing a unicorn horn and a banner saying 'fuck me Chris-Chan'. He's done to much damage to his sex drive with the titty skittles and horrible diet.

He never had a very strong sex drive to begin with once past the teenage 'I have to fuck a girl or I'm not a man' hormonal surges stage, and his bent duck made jacking it somewhat painful to begin with.
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Didn't he, like, not even have any sort of desire or drive to get a girlfriend until he was 20? And even then it was more of an issue of "I wish mommy was here to coddle me" and not "I need someone to love"?
Like, it's been said many times before, Chris has never had a sex drive or desire to have a girlfriend. He became a pervert because he genuinely thought that was what he was supposed to do to look normal and get a replacement mommy. You can just see that pattern in his history of utterly bewildering and disgusting sexual fantasies, they're all so uncanny, precisely like an autist trying to make sense of what they think normal people do.

Meat Pickle said:
Coming soon: TSSSF 2: Sonic Boogaloo
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GOD DAMNIT NO NOT ANOTHER ONE FUCK
 
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The Fool said:
Didn't he, like, not even have any sort of desire or drive to get a girlfriend until he was 20? And even then it was more of an issue of "I wish mommy was here to coddle me" and not "I need someone to love"?
Like, it's been said many times before, Chris has never had a sex drive or desire to have a girlfriend. He became a pervert because he genuinely thought that was what he was supposed to do to look normal and get a replacement mommy. You can just see that pattern in his history of utterly bewildering and disgusting sexual fantasies, they're all so uncanny, precisely like an autist trying to make sense of what they think normal people do.



GOD DAMNIT NO NOT ANOTHER ONE FUCK
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I am assuming he had a normal teenage horndog phase. Look at how he looms over Megan in that famous picture of the two of them (no, not 'she came 4cwc', the other one) and you know what he wanted. He definately had a normal teenage boy sex drive, though it might have been on the weaker side of the bell curve.

Plus being an autist, he had no idea how to go about trying to date a girl as a teen. I am sure Barb was throwing away a great many stiff, crusty socks in his teen years.
 
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The Un-Clit said:
I am assuming he had a normal teenage horndog phase. Look at how he looms over Megan in that famous picture of the two of them (no, not 'she came 4cwc', the other one) and you know what he wanted. He definately had a normal teenage boy sex drive, though it might have been on the weaker side of the bell curve.

Plus being an autist, he had no idea how to go about trying to date a girl as a teen. I am sure Barb was throwing away a great many stiff, crusty socks in his teen years.
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yea man, but chris got like a stunt developmental problem or something. He went to highschool with like a elementary school kid mentality. He didnt discover sex stuff way after he graduate high school. He was acting like a dumb horny 14 year old in his 20s. Thats how we had our chris chan golden age.
 
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The Fool said:
Didn't he, like, not even have any sort of desire or drive to get a girlfriend until he was 20? And even then it was more of an issue of "I wish mommy was here to coddle me" and not "I need someone to love"?
Like, it's been said many times before, Chris has never had a sex drive or desire to have a girlfriend. He became a pervert because he genuinely thought that was what he was supposed to do to look normal and get a replacement mommy. You can just see that pattern in his history of utterly bewildering and disgusting sexual fantasies, they're all so uncanny, precisely like an autist trying to make sense of what they think normal people do.



GOD DAMNIT NO NOT ANOTHER ONE FUCK
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The picture you're thinking of is from his twenties. I know that sounds weird but yeah.. he was in his 20s when he took that pic with Megan.

Prior to that Chris did still have a sex drive but he was very shy and socially awkward and didn't exactly know how to talk to people in general, let alone a woman he liked. On at least one ocassion in highschool somebody messed with him and suggested he should just be Gay instead, his Dad called him a queer a few times, and he saw his dad's dick once and couldn't stop thinking about it. Part of his Lovequest was for a fuck mommy yes, but also to prove to everyone he wasn't gay or immature. Due to trolls and misinterpreting pop culture and fashion he ended up looking gayer than ever. Now he's bisexual... Kind of. His sex drive is still lower than the average person but I really don't doubt that he'd go along with pretty much anyone that looked even half way decent if they could financially help him and gave him the time of day and spent time with him.

Does that mean he would actually be attracted to them? That I can't say. Chris has a type for sure. He likes Blondes a lot. However he also seems to like Brunettes and doesn't mind Asians or Hispanics I bet he'd be okay with a Black Girl now that Barb barely speaks to him and Bob is gone. Hell I bet he's okay with some guys even. Chris doesn't actually understand sex or attraction though. Sure it's okay to say you have a type. In fact I think people who don't have a standard or set if them are odd. But it's weird that he had really specific ones and barely adhered to them.
 
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Chrus Chundlur said:
By definition, mediums have little to no ethics and live off of bullshit, and Chris being a gullible, delusional cretin with no bullshit detector only makes him the perfect client.
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Honestly, it's really nice that there's a service for everything. Chris has made it his life goal to be actively scammed and manipulated by everyone he meets, so it's quite a testament to modern society that now you can simply pay for the service of being conveniently scammed instead of having to hunt down people on discord to do it for you.
 
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The Fool said:
Honestly, it's really nice that there's a service for everything. Chris has made it his life goal to be actively scammed and manipulated by everyone he meets, so it's quite a testament to modern society that now you can simply pay for the service of being conveniently scammed instead of having to hunt down people on discord to do it for you.
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Chris was professionally scammed by Cutco Cultery during one of the only paid jobs he ever had. If only these pyramid marketing schemers got to him when he actually had some tugboat to blow.
 
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Tikbalang said:
But, hey! No complaints.
View attachment 2009912
Chris, who is capable of travelling to different dimensions, can't find the world where season 10 exist
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I love how despite wearing what appear to be pony ears and a horn and an 80s mlp shirt Cort lane is the saner person here. Who if he even saw that tweet took one look at it and thought "WTF am I reading here?"
 
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