Containment Random Chris Updates

Wait, MsMojo?

Is this a female offshoot of WatchMojo? If so, I thought they couldn't get worse than stealing Guru Larry's shit then have the gall to complain when he catches them and calls them out through intentional exaggeration.
 
Yep. Chris has had numerous run-ins with authorities and angry reactions from women for 16 years now, almost all of which have stemmed from his china quest. Hanging around a retail store and all day with a "Play with my pee pee, if you qualify" sign seems totally normal for him, as does bombarding unwilling Twitter women with unwanted one-sided conversations and pet names.

This is because Chris is tacitly comfortable with his desperation. He has understood for quite some time that women don't even look his way, let alone run up to date him. He says he's too scared to ask, but he's also said that he's afraid of hearing 'no,' which could be the answer he expects to hear. In order to both avoid that and get him some sweet sweetheart action, Chris has come up with his numerous schemes that are meant to do away with the fear of rejection and get him exactly what he wants directly (they come to him). These are the result of truly anomalous thinking; of Chris being egotistical enough to think women can't resist him, but insecure enough to think failure is inevitable.

Thing is, it's all he's got.

Nothing - Nothing - Chris has tried to get women as worked. At all. His only success came in the form of a hooker, who has to please everybody as a requirement of the job. Absolutely no one has shown any romantic effort in Chris, which really stokes the fires of his frustration and desperation. So he goes and does his dumb little activities - like pretending to be a girl - and gets angry when someone shuts him down, because, again, he doesn't see any other avenue to finding his momsweet.

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View attachment 273661 Chris posing as a teenage girl and being creepy.
Why do you actually think it's Chris? It's seems more like an obvious troll mocking him, with the insane use of ALL WOMAN and "dearie" to a supposed male. The capitalization is off too, Chris seems to understand he needs to capitalize I'll and I'm, while this account doesn't. Chris really doesn't use parenthesis in that way (I mean this sort of elaboration way) either, at least not that concisely.
 
Odd that he expects the "Sweetheart" to fulfill a traditional male role.

Or maybe even both traditional husband and wife roles while Chris doesn't even do housework.

Heh... In Chris's autism-fueled retcon of his life, that's because he has a "female soul".

In reality, it's because he's a lazy fuck, who had his mind set on never working ever since he got his tugboat.

Since part of Chris also wanted to unlock the "True&Honest Adult" and "Marry your Heartsweet Have Children" achievements in life, he came up with the stay-at-home dad* nonsense, because in his mind, "taking care of children" means he can sit at home and play all day.

As you can see, it's not odd. It's just a result of Chris thinking he can have his cake and eat it too: Have a wife and a kid, while remaining a manchild whose day is full of Sonichu, MLP & LEGOs.



* I know a few guys who were stay at home parents for a few years, one still is. It's hard, fucking work. Especially when it's a little kid. Sure, you'll get to play with LEGOs and draw now and then, but that's like 10%. The other 90% are chores and housework and cleaning and playing stuff you don't like, that you maybe hate, because your kid loves it.
 
* I know a few guys who were stay at home parents for a few years, one still is. It's hard, fucking work. Especially when it's a little kid. Sure, you'll get to play with LEGOs and draw now and then, but that's like 10%. The other 90% are chores and housework and cleaning and playing stuff you don't like, that you maybe hate, because your kid loves it.
Like you said, Chris just wants Barb 2.0 out of a "Sweetheart." I don't think he really thinks things like that through.
 
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