Containment Random Chris Updates

[Fapcop]

For some reason Chris figured that the internet couldn't go on anymorewithout a picture of an event that happened two years ago, so he posted this on his Facebook.

I think he's still feeling the post-pony blues. But since everyone else who went stopped sperging about it a while ago, he went through his pictures to find something pony-related he hadn't put up yet.

 

[The Fool]

I know Chris is completely blind to how he looks, but can he really not even see how his torso looks like a fucking refrigerator in any given photo? This is just sad.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

If Chris thinks he's a reincarnated hippie woman, does he think Bob was also reincarnated?

 

[Basil]

If Chris thinks he's a reincarnated hippie woman, does he think Bob was also reincarnated?

Bob came back as Sorbet

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Odd that he expects the "Sweetheart" to fulfill a traditional male role.

Or maybe even both traditional husband and wife roles while Chris doesn't even do housework.

Chris thinks in terms of what he wants first and foremost, i.e. to sit around doing nothing all day because He Is Woman. Then when he realises that doesn't quite work when both parties are female, his sweetheart is the one who has to take the non-traditional role.

Heh... In Chris's autism-fueled retcon of his life, that's because he has a "female soul".

In reality, it's because he's a lazy fuck, who had his mind set on never working ever since he got his tugboat.

Since part of Chris also wanted to unlock the "True&Honest Adult" and "Marry your Heartsweet Have Children" achievements in life, he came up with the stay-at-home dad* nonsense, because in his mind, "taking care of children" means he can sit at home and play all day.

As you can see, it's not odd. It's just a result of Chris thinking he can have his cake and eat it too: Have a wife and a kid, while remaining a manchild whose day is full of Sonichu, MLP & LEGOs.



* I know a few guys who were stay at home parents for a few years, one still is. It's hard, fucking work. Especially when it's a little kid. Sure, you'll get to play with LEGOs and draw now and then, but that's like 10%. The other 90% are chores and housework and cleaning and playing stuff you don't like, that you maybe hate, because your kid loves it.

I think one of the reasons he was so dead set on having a daughter for so long was because it would give him an excuse to be a kid for another couple of decades in the guise of taking an interest in his kid.

Yeah, I was just thinking that myself.

You know, Chris has always wanted a personal army to turn against his enemies. I think that that's what he's trying to do here. RTing the tweets he doesn't like will bring down the wrath of Chris's supporters swiftly and surely.

It's weird, you can show him all sorts of evidence that he doesn't have legions of followers unironically hanging on to his every word and he just won't believe it. I bet he thinks the reason his recent polls are coming out with results he doesn't want is because his followers are just too got-dang lazy to vote or don't understand the process.

 

[Fapcop]

My god... Look at his spaghetti legs on that picture. They're literally as thin as his arms!

It's a wonder he doesn't constantly fall and break his ancles and bones like some demented little old lady with osteoporosis!

 

[The Fool]

I think one of the reasons he was so dead set on having a daughter for so long was because it would give him an excuse to be a kid for another couple of decades in the guise of taking an interest in his kid.

In this singular instance I actually relate with Chris. It's just a common mammal desire to want to procreate. And of course, with many males, they want to reproduce a daughter, someone they can instill all the desires they had of a female into them so that they can produce the most desirable female so their gene line can live on.
It's really one of the most male thing about Chris, wanting to replicate what he deems desirable about females so his genes can continue.
It's just a shame his genes are so undesirable they've reached an apex of incompetence so severe he can't even reproduce. Reproduction isn't even that hard, saying an idiot can do it is honestly a compliment. Chris has somehow found easy-mode to be difficult.

 

[Mysterious Capitalist]

I know Chris is completely blind to how he looks, but can he really not even see how his torso looks like a fucking refrigerator in any given photo? This is just sad.

Autism makes him see himself not as reality would, but as a concept. He's what he is in his own mind, like a dictionary definition written long ago, rather than a ever evolving "photo" of what he actually looks like.

 

[Tonberry]

View attachment 274003

I feel terrible for laughing at this, but everything about that tweet just cracks me up.
The most touching homage Chris could think of making for his dead father on his birthday is a drawing of him telling his son to stop dressing like a faggot. Not to mention there are countless pics of classic Chris out there, but he still decided to portray his 28-year-old self as a slim teenage girl.

 

[Fapcop]

The most touching homage Chris could think of making for his dead father on his birthday is a drawing of him telling his son to stop dressing like a faggot.

Once again, Chris turns something into being all about him.

That he's doing it with his deceased fathers birthday is really a new low though.

Also kinda lazy that he just reused the drawing from his coming-out story. Chris must have been too busy to draw something new. Girls don't creep themselves you know!

 

[Wraith]

Oh no. Is it that time of year again? It's always sad to think of the lumberjack leaving this realm to cut down internets in the afterlife.

There is some manga from a few years back about some crazy chick going after a guy and I think eliminating versions of him from alternate dimensions until she gets the one she wants. I think it's Mirai Nikki or Future Diary or something. I think the last page was the chick using an ax to come chopping through dimensions to get to the MC to be together forever. I want to see that with Bob chopping through the spirit world to "chop that internet down!" one last time.

 

[Chanchu]

nobody retweets things they dislike.

Maybe I stand a fool, but dont people tweet shit they dislike all the time. Usually in SJW-ish fashion.

I think one of the reasons he was so dead set on having a daughter for so long was because it would give him an excuse to be a kid for another couple of decades in the guise of taking an interest in his kid.

One would think that would be the case in a lot of families with immature "parents".

 

[BurningPewter]

is it true that C-Ville is currently powered by the rotation of Bob's grave?

 

[JTRH-NBR]

My god... Look at his spaghetti legs on that picture. They're literally as thin as his arms!

health sperging incoming but the cause of his pencil legs is unfortunately not uncommon.

According to the cwcki, Chris was taking at least 195 grams of sugar from coke alone daily. This likely hasn't changed and is far from his only source of sugar and refined carbohydrates. A constant elevated blood-glucose level means constant high insulin production leading to insulin resistance leading to an increase in insulin production again (priming him for type-2 diabeetus).

Such high insulin does a number of things. 1) Converts and stores blood glucose as fat instead of using it for energy (perfect if you sit all day!) 2) Interferes with the leptin signal which tells the brain to stop feeling hungry. 3) Suppresses hormone-sensitive Liapase thus suppressing body-fat breakdown so his body has no choice but to cannibalize muscle tissue.

In other words, because of his insane sugar intake and no exercise his body can't break down adipose tissue, can't burn glucose or glycogen before it's stored and is breaking down muscle tissue to fuel itself and all the while he is effectively starving himself.


The effects of certain anti-depressant medication and menopause cream on metabolism certainly contributes to his fridge figure.

 

[WorldsSmartestManRonOTool]

I have no sympathies for that man TBH.

View attachment 274029

"and I just won!"

 

[Chanchu]

It's just a shame his genes are so undesirable they've reached an apex of incompetence so severe he can't even reproduce.

Who said Chrissy couldnt produce a teeny tranny tard? The point is finding a woman willing to do the filthy deed. And because no such woman exists, he is unlikely to get a daughter that way. Besides, in all likelihood, God would just troll him with a son anyhow.

Hence, teeny tranny tard.

 

[Optimus Prime]

Who said Chrissy couldnt produce a teeny tranny tard? The point is finding a woman willing to do the filthy deed. And because no such woman exists, he is unlikely to get a daughter that way. Besides, in all likelihood, God would just troll him with a son anyhow.

Hence, teeny tranny tard.

At least for the continuation of mankind (given we have so many lolcows already), Chris's navy will never be accepted at a sperm bank.

 

[Chanchu]

At least for the continuation of mankind (given we have so many lolcows already), Chris's navy will never be accepted at a sperm bank.

And this is from Optimus Prime, the sole remaining male figure in Chris's life.

 

[Optimus Prime]

And this is from Optimus Prime, the sole remaining male figure in Chris's life.

I honestly wonder what Chris thinks of Optimus Prime now, given in the past he used him as a 'symbol of straightness' when under threat to make a video saying he was gay, but now he goes around claiming to be a lesbian.

Lesbians of course are not straight.

 

[The American Hedgehog]