Containment Random Chris Updates

[King Kiwi]

@Zeus Blue Thunder nice post, but please for the love of real baby Jebus, use some formatting like bullet points.

Even the moderate to average of us need reminding of that.

Yes for the love of baby Jebus. And that's not just anyone that's everyone, I've been told that even recently.

But this quite a lot of information we're getting and it's so spotty; we know so much and yet so little. There's gaping holes where everyone fits in and exactly what the ultimate goal is.

Praetor, it's not over. It will never be over. Are cabbage and caden related or working together? What is Chris's ultimate goal now? Will Hasbro ever canceled G5?

Find out that and more.

 

[Fedsmokers_secret_stash]

Maybe she said “if you want access to my forbidden cabbage patch…. You first must… ummmm learn Finnish to an expert level!”

And Chris put his autism into oveoverdrive.

The idea that flutter pulled an irl "you don't have enough badges to train me" and then gave Chris a seemingly impossible (task for him) very funny, and in the off chance that this is somehow all true then the fact Chris turbo tismed his way into learning a new language in the pursuit of cabbage china it's fucking hilarious.

 

[Lurker Child]

Why the hell is Chris learning Finnish?
I wonder what fake name he'll give himself?


View attachment 5516785

Chris Chan and Finland wasn't a combination I was ever going to expect. Firstly, I can tell you right now that he will never get the accent down. Finnish pronunciation is hard even for foreigners that try like Ian McCollum. But I've heard Chris' Spanish. He sounds like a Virginian trying to talk down an angry cholo.

The image in my head of Chris Chan walking the cobbles of Helsinki does make me chuckle though. He should film it if he gets the chance. It'll be hysterical when some mustalainen snatches his camera lmao.

Duolingo sucks, at least for Japanese

It's the equivalent of doing flashgames based of a travelers Japanese book that give you a number of phrases to memorize. It punishes you when you lose too many lives forcing you to wait or pay for microtransactions which is made worse because their content is procedurally generated, meaning you can pick the right grammatical English translation for a sentence but still get the question wrong because it didn't match the data they generated the question from.

It's great for autism but shit for learning languages.

Duolingo's main issue I found was that it trains you to speak like a tourist. When I learn a language, I'm really training how to impersonate a native speaker of that language. A language has all these idiosyncrasies and personality that emerges from heritage, style or just local choice that when you really know a language becomes an intuition. There's what is being said and then there's how it's being said. The former, which Duolingo caters, is enough for a foreigner passing by. The latter involves an acute inspection and education of the linguistic structure, something that I feel Duolingo does not deliver.

Why?

FinnSven already said it well enough, but to give you a picture, before the end of ww2, some rightist radicals in Finland saw the Swedes and Finno-Swedes as the "Jews of Finland". Finland has its own Jews who stayed after independence, but they're never a concern. Insofar as the notion of an alien element ruling the country, it has always been "Der Ewige Svensk".

 

[Wuhan Wet Market]

Why the hell is Chris learning Finnish?
I wonder what fake name he'll give himself?


View attachment 5516785

Is cabbage lady a Finn? There's no way Chris is capable of speaking another language, he can't even comprehend his mother tongue. Also over 21k points.. I will say that's a lot of effort. Also lmao at 15xp at Hebrew.
It'd be really funny if he attempted to learn Korean though .

Chris is too stupid to understand that Jesus spoke Aramaic
not Hebrew

I genuinely think that things gonna be dull with Chris
so long as Praetor is in control
they're just milking Chris for financial gain
and doing whatever they can to keep Chris from any further controversy, which will kill his number of viewers
and stagnate future Chris lore.

Chris is in a sweatshop arc rn. Praetor is just gonna keep him around as long as he makes money. When the cash flow stops, who knows what's gonna happen
Virginia should have put him in residential care but here we are

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Just reminded me that we filmed Popeye back in the 80s on this little finnish-like island in Malta that still exists today. Although I suppose if chris went there he would destroy it.

 

[Bad as Can]

Things that I observed from Google Streetview:

They've added 4 security cameras. (The silver one is from previous owners)



The fridge from the upstairs kitchen was moved outside.

 

[King Kiwi]

Things that I observed from Google Streetview:

They've added 4 security cameras. (The silver one is from previous owners)

View attachment 5520096

The fridge from the upstairs kitchen was moved outside.

View attachment 5520099 View attachment 5520100

The paranoia is setting in.

They're expecting us.

Tee.

Obviously don't bother them, let them make their own mistakes.

 

[Disastrously Dumb]

how the fuck do they even have the money
to buy a house for Chris to live in?
and i wonder, if Flutter isnt in it for Chris
maybe Flutter is in it for another member of PRAETOR
and secretly just pretending to be Chris' gf...
Like legitimately cuckoldry arc?


or... is this PRAETOR's attempt at "TOTAL RECALL"
where Chris is Arnold Schwartzenegger
Flutter is Arnold Schwartzenegger's fake wife
Random PRAETOR member being Flutter's crush or partner
Caden being Vilos Cohaagen (The overall antagonist of TOTAL RECALL, the Governor from Mars)

bruh... this is like next level of autism shit. PRAETOR is doing

 

[BMO_]

A Redditor snapped a picture of Chris at a Wal-Mart in Lynchburg. Most likely the same one he's been going to with Flutter.
View attachment 5519229 Doesn't look like anyone else is in the car with him but the photo makes it impossible to say for sure. The Redditor didn't offer any context but did make sure to refer to him as "Christine," because, well, Reddit.

>New Adidas
I'm waiting for Gopnichu

 

[King Kiwi]

>New Adidas
I'm waiting for Gopnichu

Chris is on a pink kick, ain't he?

I noticed him in his pink Sonichu shirt.

There's even a cancer ribbon on the back of his car. Maybe trying to impress someone?

 

[GreenHell]

The sheer amount of autism that went into finding Chris's new house lair is almost on par with the HWNDU flag capture 4chan did a few years ago. I tip my hat to you, Kiwis.

Can't believe the pet lolcow arc is real. It sort of reminds me of retarded families who decide to get a tiger as a pet only to have it completely tear them apart when it gets big enough. I imagine something similar will happen with Chris. He's a living ticking time bomb and the resulting explosion from letting him live in the same house as him is going to be horrifyingly spectacular.

I predicted some time ago that anyone who took Chris in would, in due time, get sick of his shit (both literal and figurative) and throw his ass out on the street. But this...this is going to be more entertaining than anything I imagined. Holy shit.

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

This is a good thing as I don't think there are any more sagas Chris could have that haven't been done already. Every unfunny thing Chris has done up to this point was the result of trolls slowly gaining his trust then manipulating him into doing something retarded. At this point Chris needs Praetor not only for housing but more importantly to monopolize him and ensure malicious idea guys/bella types don't get to him.

As much as Praetor is milking him for money, I don't know how well a guy sucking dildos and proclaiming he is Jesus would last on his own. All I know for a fact is the last time Chris was at risk of not having a home he became Stephanie Bustcakes and tried to prostitute himself for money. I have no doubt that if Chris is left alone to make his own decisions we will end up with the whore saga and all the cwcki editors will be scouring reddit threads to add to a large archive of grainy pov phone recordings of chris sucking dicks and getting fucked in the ass.

View attachment 5518033

For the people who missed Stephanie Bustcakes

I bet you wish your that dildildo.

A Redditor snapped a picture of Chris at a Wal-Mart in Lynchburg. Most likely the same one he's been going to with Flutter.
View attachment 5519229 Doesn't look like anyone else is in the car with him but the photo makes it impossible to say for sure. The Redditor didn't offer any context but did make sure to refer to him as "Christine," because, well, Reddit.

does chris have a tumour in one of his mantits that we didnt know about

He wears padded bra because he's too unhealthy and retarded to afford bolt ons.

 

[Cuntspiracy Man]

are set up with a fridge, stove and all that.

i would NOT trust Chris alone in a room with appliances i wouldn't trust an 8 year old alone with
we wouldn't want another bathroom coffee situation

 

[Mariposa2.0 LTE]

i would NOT trust Chris alone in a room with appliances i wouldn't trust an 8 year old alone with
we wouldn't want another bathroom coffee situation

We should send him an old, plug in dildo. That way, he can bur. The house down and shove something up his ass at the same time.

 

[Glowie]

Whether Chris is living there, or just using it as the "studio" is unknown, but this is exactly what was predicted to happen. After jail Chris would move in with Caden.

Caden underestimated power of weaponized, Keffals was doxed by a door knob and bed sheets. Various retards posted selfies and left EXIF data intact.

Possible dyslexic note, I thought I read "Chris hangs around in discord called "predators".

Since Chris is a sex pest, lover of barbpussy and he's a very attractive transbian, it's a miracle that Discord didn't offer him a job with those qualifications.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Lol at them buying more security cameras (that may be dummies that don't work but are made to trick people into thinking they do) you only have yourselves to blame for this pretor you wanna exploit the most documented retard on earth? You have to deal with the consequences.

I mean it's almost sad how Chris has learned to avoid the Weens who use outdated methods to mock him. Take the recent stream, call him gay in his salad days he'd throw a fit and make a video of himself crushing a sex toy complete with a sticky note on his shoe say I AM STRAIGHT! now he sucks on one and rolls with the punch.

He doesn't see when people are mocking him when it looks like praise because that's how desperate for validation he's become. Sometimes it's mostly harmless like that magfest panel which was essentially a celebrity roast that Chris was too dumb and desperate to realize it WAS a roast. Or it's every video praetor forces him to make going all the way back to their first video sermon they made.

 

[BMO_]

CWCki is down

 

[A Grey Cat]

View attachment 5520294
CWCki is down

It works fine for me stateside.

 

[King Kiwi]

This God damn thread is riding off the fucking rails.

Everything in its time. We'll get more answers at some point.

 

[BillTheButcher]

Lol at them buying more security cameras (that may be dummies that don't work but are made to trick people into thinking they do) you only have yourselves to blame for this pretor you wanna exploit the most documented retard on earth? You have to deal with the consequences.

I mean it's almost sad how Chris has learned to avoid the Weens who use outdated methods to mock him. Take the recent stream, call him gay in his salad days he'd throw a fit and make a video of himself crushing a sex toy complete with a sticky note on his shoe say I AM STRAIGHT! now he sucks on one and rolls with the punch.

He doesn't see when people are mocking him when it looks like praise because that's how desperate for validation he's become. Sometimes it's mostly harmless like that magfest panel which was essentially a celebrity roast that Chris was too dumb and desperate to realize it WAS a roast. Or it's every video praetor forces him to make going all the way back to their first video sermon they made.

I mean, he probably has people around SCREAMING at him that "responding would only allow the troll to win". Its taking constant guidance from a 3rd party to keep chris at bay. The moment he loses his cabal of faggots, i would almost guarantee he'd be back to sperging out.

Things that I observed from Google Streetview:

They've added 4 security cameras. (The silver one is from previous owners)

View attachment 5520096

The fridge from the upstairs kitchen was moved outside.

View attachment 5520099 View attachment 5520100

Chrischan officially has his own bin laden compound in Abbottabad. Considering this shit all costs money, i do wonder how much money "harboring a mother fucking terrorist" rakes in... Obviously these guys are leaching, and not doing this out of good will. Between probably charging chris rent, and getting a percent of donations as a "manager fee"; how much do you guys think caden is pulling in on a monthly basis?