Containment Random Chris Updates

Omg.....my mind is blown. Considering my username you can imagine how this little gem of a post on Reddit brought Chris's famous "freeing the vagina of my soul with binaural beats" saga back to me with a snap. Check this shit: (bold italic emphasis is from me)

Hey. Boys, get ready to have your minds blown. As Planet Dolan has said, Everyone is Female inside the womb until if and when the "Y" chromosome mutates the girl to be a boy. Which, when you Really think about it, with Everyone being Female initially, even pre-birth, being "Manly" or "Manliness" is very much made up. Anyhow, and you can try this at home in private, push (maybe tough) into the center of the skin patch between your legs (the taint); you may find one or two grooves hidden under there. One of them, yes, is your unbirthable Vagina (since the uterus would be shrunk during the "Y" mutation).

Punchline: if every gay male knew about this, all they'd have to do is cut their taint, and they'd have a new hole to play with (seriously, though, maybe professional sugury would be Best for that business opening). OR, for the price of WiFi and your YouTube-Viewing device, you could try opening it, in as soon as six month (less if listened to more often) with a Subliminal Track. Check out this one from my favorite channel that offers it on YT.

https://youtu.be/oVdsmNv2ZMw

Or, if that title scares you, this other one might leave your sack free.

https://youtu.be/NLUjwljUzh4
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https://youtu.be/NLUjwljUzh4


I mean seriously. What are the odds on this being a coincidence vs him reading and then taking this article as gospel? Because as far as I know, OPL does not do Reddit. Yet here we are, right down to the fucking binaural beats. :O!! CREEPY!
 
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The Dude said:
I've gotta admit, if Chris ever offered "Sonichu: The Flamethrower" and it was a real, functional flamethrower and not, like, a lighter and can of hairspray? Then there would finally be Sonichu merch that I would gladly purchase.
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If that ever happens (which it won't) whomever decides to spend their money on a Sonichu branded flamethrower may want to cover themselves head to toe in fire retardant gel, Chris isn't the best when it comes to designing or building his creations, so I have no doubt that the flamethrowers would either blow up in your hands, or set you on fire.

The American Hedgehog said:
View attachment 593595
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Aren't you half Sonichu Chris, is so then you can zap to the extreme and power your house back on, hopefully without catching it on fire this time.

JULAY said:
I look forward to the torrent of rage that is bound to happen when the Dimensional Merge fails to materialize.
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Oh, you bet your ass Chris will flip his shit when it doesn't happen, or he will flip his shit when tarding about ruckersville because someone bumped into his imaginary spouses, or a OC they couldn't see, cause you know, not everyone has childish delusions like Chris does, nor or they as detached from reality as he is either.
 
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JULAY said:
Nah, Chris most likely learned that Emmanuel was one of the terms for God at church. He's been using it for a long time, five years at least. See here:

https://sonichu.com/cwcki/September_2013_Facebook_Posts#God_Trolls_Chris_Yet_Again

"God is giving me the Middle Finger yet again! I backed up and scratched a car in El Agave Lot! And she's a damn Smoker! Now the damn Jerkop is giving me a hard time, because I am screamingup at Freaking Emanuel God! I want God to just kill me Now if he is going to keep giving me middle fingers and a damned difficult life!!!"
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I love how when he gets worked up, there's always some minor detail that has nothing to do with the story, but it's important enough for him to mention and get mad about. He hits a car in a parking lot, the police are there, but DAMN IT THE LADY IS A SMOKER.
 
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JULAY said:
Nah, Chris most likely learned that Emmanuel was one of the terms for God at church. He's been using it for a long time, five years at least. See here:
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Even his shitty Methodist church wouldn't tell him that God's name is Emmanuel. Chris probably just misunderstood when Jesus is referred to as Immanuel prior to birth. He seems to understand that Jesus and God are different entities.

Cedric_Eff said:
Why do places like Ruckersville suffer power outages like this?
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Investment in energy infrastructure is dependent on population density and economic importance of an area. Rural Virginia has low density and, generally, has little economic value, so it doesn't get much money. That means older infrastructure combined with rural power grid cost saving measures like increased distance between poles. So, Ruckersville is more susceptible to power loss from things like inclement weather or seasonal usage fluctuations.
 
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nvrwastetree said:
If that ever happens (which it won't) whomever decides to spend their money on a Sonichu branded flamethrower may want to cover themselves head to toe in fire retardant gel, Chris isn't the best when it comes to designing or building his creations, so I have no doubt that the flamethrowers would either blow up in your hands, or set you on fire.
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Chris is so incompetent that if you give him a tank of kerosene and a lighter he would make a scientific breakthrough by accidentally building a working freeze ray.
 
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Brian Butterfield said:
Kinda like how he thought it was important to state that Snyder is Jewish (he's not) and that also there's nothing wrong with that but he had to mention it.
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Is it even worth asking why he decided Snyder's Jewish? Itd be fucking hilarious how big a deal Chris made of that 'Jew' thing, even if it was true, but double-hilarious that its not.

IIRC he's also done the same thing (except its presumably true) with pointing out the black-ness (usually in ALL CAPS) of a couple of Mcdonalds manajerks who kicked him out or whatever. Chris is the least subtle dog-whistler ever.
 
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Snuckening said:
Is it even worth asking why he decided Snyder's Jewish? Itd be fucking hilarious how big a deal Chris made of that 'Jew' thing, even if it was true, but double-hilarious that its not.

IIRC he's also done the same thing (except its presumably true) with pointing out the black-ness (usually in ALL CAPS) of a couple of Mcdonalds manajerks who kicked him out or whatever. Chris is the least subtle dog-whistler ever.
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Not sure where he came up with the idea, someone probably told him. But I think @Marvin has made it a point before that Chris isn't necessarily a racist.... he's just been raised with the race awareness of a 60 year old.

I'm not sure he would date a black woman...but I think he'd be friends with one. And he probably doesn't think he's better than anyone else because he's white. If he thinks he's better than anyone else it's because of Sonichu.
 
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4Macie said:
Not sure where he came up with the idea, someone probably told him. But I think @Marvin has made it a point before that Chris isn't necessarily a racist.... he's just been raised with the race awareness of a 60 year old.

I'm not sure he would date a black woman...but I think he'd be friends with one. And he probably doesn't think he's better than anyone else because he's white. If he thinks he's better than anyone else it's because of Sonichu.
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Chris is/was friends with black woman/hambeast when he used to go to The End.
 
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The Un-Clit said:
Omg.....my mind is blown. Considering my username you can imagine how this little gem of a post on Reddit brought Chris's famous "freeing the vagina of my soul with binaural beats" saga back to me with a snap. Check this shit: (bold italic emphasis is from me)



I mean seriously. What are the odds on this being a coincidence vs him reading and then taking this article as gospel? Because as far as I know, OPL does not do Reddit. Yet here we are, right down to the fucking binaural beats. :O!! CREEPY!
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My god, a broken clock is right twice a day... why is it that when he gets neo-natal biology (well, only the first sentence, the rest is... um, waaaaaay wrong) relatively correct but it has to come from Planet fucking Dolan of all places? Oh, right... :autism:
 
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