Oh Jesus oh fuck
As someone who once had to deal with bedbugs, just the sheer mention of them makes me sweat. They’re a pain in the ass to kill, and you can never be too certain that you got them all until you’ve had a few sleepless nights without incident. Them’s some hardy mother fuckers that can invade even the cleanest of beds.
But... ants?
Jesus Christ, Chris, when was the last time you’ve washed your sheets? If there are ants in your bed, then they must be everywhere. Of course, Chris doesn’t see this as an embarrassing thing to bring up as it shows what a slob he is, but something to be proud of and share with the world: “Hmm, yeah, I get you, but I have to put up with ants in my bed, among which. I’m really in need of praise because I decided to finally take action with the minimal amount of effort by buying a can of raid and not dealing with the actual cause of the problem. Regardless, you should know my life is full of trials and tribulations, all of which are worse than what y’all’re dealing with, but I’m coping and deserve your love and attention. Hmmm.”
