Containment Random Thoughts & Questions

[Optimus Prime]

I am starting to think there may be something to the idea Chris is dead and they are just hiding it to sell merch, it would explain why the last video we got of his looked like it was made a few months ago.

Maybe he finally 41%'d himself through the portal to CWCville?

But in all seriousness I find it hard to believe Chris could have been dead for weeks and he simply vanished like Jimmy Hoffa. I trust the self-described security guy's testimony so we know Chris didn't leave the Big Island house on his own. If he did decided to off himself, he absolutely would have made some super-autistic video message declaring G5 forever sins in the name of Putin or whatever.

What if he got arrested again? Violated some terms of his release or whatever (he was still regularly checking into the cops IIRC) so he got picked up one day and put back in jail without access to social media?

Plus, it's only been maybe 6 weeks, we've had droughts of Chris content longer than this (granted he was also in jail...). If we hit June with nothing then I feel like him having actually died might be on the table.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Good points.
Still the last time we heard from him he was ranting about Ponies and it is strange for him to just give up and go radio silent in the middle of serging out about something unless it is a case like Blares where he was arrested and even then he was back on facebook as soon as he could be, so this just feels off to me.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Can you imagine having the egotistical delusion that some ordinary "split level" house in a suburb in a "census designated place" in Virginia is a "temple" and "holy"?

14 BLC looks like a set of a horror movie, which is quite fitting.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I highly doubt he's dead. He's too much of a pussy to kill himself intentionally and while it's possible he did so accidentally, I don't see that as likely because he doesn't exactly partake in risky behavior at home. Sitting around playing on your phone and dreaming of the dimensional merge isn't exactly risky behavior. He's an out of shape lardo but he's not exactly in deathfat territory and 42 isn't that old

 

[vomitusdeux]

I highly doubt he's dead. He's too much of a pussy to kill himself intentionally and while it's possible he did so accidentally, I don't see that as likely because he doesn't exactly partake in risky behavior at home. Sitting around playing on your phone and dreaming of the dimensional merge isn't exactly risky behavior. He's an out of shape lardo but he's not exactly in deathfat territory and 42 isn't that old

Maybe they forgot to take him on a shopping trip and he actually just starved to death this time, because you can't tell starvation delirium from normality with chris.

 

[King Metalia]

I highly doubt he's dead. He's too much of a pussy to kill himself intentionally and while it's possible he did so accidentally, I don't see that as likely because he doesn't exactly partake in risky behavior at home. Sitting around playing on your phone and dreaming of the dimensional merge isn't exactly risky behavior. He's an out of shape lardo but he's not exactly in deathfat territory and 42 isn't that old

Bob had serious health troubles but he manage to make it to 84. It's possible Chris could as the Cwcki said be genetically predisposed to live a long life as well. Barb to considering she was bigger than Chris for a long time and she's in her 80s.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

It's possible Chris could as the Cwcki said be genetically predisposed to live a long life as well.

"Honor Roll" being predisposed to a long "life" does not seem like an advantage to him.

 

[Clyde Cash's Left Teste]

Maybe Chris died in a tragic (for him) hair dye accident.

 

[The_Luck_Boy]

Maybe Chris died in a tragic (for him) hair dye accident.

Whatever kills him will be pathetic and boring, as much as I'd love some truly evil shit to befall that fat lump.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Whatever kills him will be pathetic and boring, as much as I'd love some truly evil shit to befall that fat lump.

Found face down in a slump, in a pool of diarrhea, with a half eaten Banquet Salisbury Steak tv dinner, clutching a messily painted, 3D printed Sonichu figurine, in front of a computer with the 18th convention rejection email cozily illuminating the scene, as the EMS squad takes selfies and pictures with their phones.

 

[Hopkinsville Goblin]

Maybe he finally 41%'d himself through the portal to CWCville?

But in all seriousness I find it hard to believe Chris could have been dead for weeks and he simply vanished like Jimmy Hoffa. I trust the self-described security guy's testimony so we know Chris didn't leave the Big Island house on his own. If he did decided to off himself, he absolutely would have made some super-autistic video message declaring G5 forever sins in the name of Putin or whatever.

What if he got arrested again? Violated some terms of his release or whatever (he was still regularly checking into the cops IIRC) so he got picked up one day and put back in jail without access to social media?

Plus, it's only been maybe 6 weeks, we've had droughts of Chris content longer than this (granted he was also in jail...). If we hit June with nothing then I feel like him having actually died might be on the table.

I don't think Chris could kill himself intentionally. He likely doesn't have access to guns, so his best bet would be hanging I think. He's the type who could be convinced to try autoerotic asphyxiation. I could see him overdosing on whatever random pills he's got around, but that usually isn't effective in causing death.

If Chris got arrested I'd expect someone would have found the arrest records somewhere. I mean, last time he was arrested Tucker Carlson reported on it.

EDIT: Chris could try something really weird like freezing himself to death in the winter. Remember the Cwcsicle?

 

[The_Luck_Boy]

Found face down in a slump, in a pool of diarrhea, with a half eaten Banquet Salisbury Steak tv dinner, clutching a messily painted, 3D printed Sonichu figurine, in front of a computer with the 18th convention rejection email cozily illuminating the scene, as the EMS squad takes selfies and pictures with their phones.

Love how cons are banning him before he can even try to attend. Faggot is only funny when he's miserable and alone, its going to be really funny when Flutter gets scared off eventually.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Found face down in a slump, in a pool of diarrhea, with a half eaten Banquet Salisbury Steak tv dinner

Funny, that is how I expect Wings of Redemption to go out as well.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

I don't think Chris could kill himself intentionally. He likely doesn't have access to guns, so his best bet would be hanging I think. He's the type who could be convinced to try autoerotic asphyxiation. I could see him overdosing on whatever random pills he's got around, but that usually isn't effective in causing death.

If he did die, it'd be accidental and from something really stupid (like when he cut his own taint and it got infected). He's too much of a pussy to kill himself but he is also a complete idiot so he could overdose on estrogen pills because sonichu told him it'd turn him into a woman or something equally stupid

 

[Ammyterasu]

but he is also a complete idiot so he could overdose on estrogen pills because sonichu told him it'd turn him into a woman or something equally stupid

Lol that reminds me of the taser he was willing to zap himself with, because he was convinced he would not take damage from it since he's "half Sonichu"... I hope Caden high level child-proofed all the electrical outlets in the house.

 

[King Kiwi]

Maybe Chris died in a tragic (for him) hair dye accident.

He dyed.

Funny, that is how I expect Wings of Redemption to go out as well.

Why do I always think of this name being a mid-80s fantasy novel about dragon riders or something?

They got so many of those. That one chick that made like 20 books about a magic world called Pyrnn, Eragon, How To Train Your Dragon. Etc.

I always wondered why Chris didn't get into fantasy stuff like that, Harry Potter or Lord of the rings.

I'm guessing he because he sees that as you have to go out and make an effort and save the world and he doesn't want to have to be Bilbo baggins and leave his comfortable hobbit hole.

 

[Optimus Prime]

I always wondered why Chris didn't get into fantasy stuff like that, Harry Potter or Lord of the rings.

I'm guessing he because he sees that as you have to go out and make an effort and save the world and he doesn't want to have to be Bilbo baggins and leave his comfortable hobbit hole.

I would say it's both because he was born just before those kinds of fantasy properties became big, as well as the fact they usually contain a lot of concepts and words that would be hard for him to understand. Harry Potter has its basic toolkit of spells like Alohamora (lock opening) and Expelliarmus (spell reflect), while Lord of the Rings would confuse Chris with its myriad of languages (he wouldn't understand how they get into the mines of Moria at all).

Remember, this guy was so brain dead that the most complex names he could come up with were just straight reversals of names he was already familiar with (so he could get away with spelling them backwards), or Count Graduon which is both a shortened form of 'graduation' as well as similar to Groudon, a Gen III Legendary Pokemon.

 

[King Kiwi]

I would say it's both because he was born just before those kinds of fantasy properties became big, as well as the fact they usually contain a lot of concepts and words that would be hard for him to understand. Harry Potter has its basic toolkit of spells like Alohamora (lock opening) and Expelliarmus (spell reflect), while Lord of the Rings would confuse Chris with its myriad of languages (he wouldn't understand how they get into the mines of Moria at all).

Remember, this guy was so brain dead that the most complex names he could come up with were just straight reversals of names he was already familiar with (so he could get away with spelling them backwards), or Count Graduon which is both a shortened form of 'graduation' as well as similar to Groudon, a Gen III Legendary Pokemon.

That's probably true. I could just imagine him trying to read Harry Potter and when he realizes that the 11-year-olds are much more intelligent and face more controversy than him (Harry has to survive his horrible aunt and uncle, they have to solve pretty dangerous mysteries in order to save the world, etc) he zones out.

Most fantasies are going to put their young protagonists out in the world to better themselves and go on epic quests that don't involve getting rich and famous...or laid, but that depends on what kind of fantasy you're reading.

They're going to put them out in the world to make them better people.

It probably would have seemed to Chris very time consuming and way too much work; he wouldn't mind a quest as long as he was richly rewarded.

Doing something for the right reason or even out of the love of your family or friends or the girl that you love (take Princess Bride for example and what Wesley has to do to get buttercup back) would be far too much effort even if it does make him appear chivalrous.

 

[Optimus Prime]

That's probably true. I could just imagine him trying to read Harry Potter and when he realizes that the 11-year-olds are much more intelligent and face more controversy than him (Harry has to survive his horrible aunt and uncle, they have to solve pretty dangerous mysteries in order to save the world, etc) he zones out.

The funny thing is when you break it down, what happens with Harry initially is something Chris would adore. Namely the "stranger tracking him down to tell him that he actually is something incredibly special by normal person standards and he has great power to unlock" part, since Chris legit has thought he had magical powers anyway ranging from the Curse-ne-whatever through to his late-stage troon 'psychic powers of levitation and self-powered flght', to current where he insists he's literally Jesus Christ reborn.

At the same time it does highlight something rather glaring - namely, where did Harry initially go to school? No fuckin' way the Dursleys homeschooled his ass but at the same time I don't think the British education system only starts at age 11. And somehow Harry still doesn't have a single fucking friend in the whole world until Hagrid shows up literally breaking the door down. But that's beyond the scope of this thread lol.

Most fantasies are going to put their young protagonists out in the world to better themselves and go on epic quests that don't involve getting rich and famous...or laid, but that depends on what kind of fantasy you're reading.

They're going to put them out in the world to make them better people.

It probably would have seemed to Chris very time consuming and way too much work; he wouldn't mind a quest as long as he was richly rewarded.

Doing something for the right reason or even out of the love of your family or friends or the girl that you love (take Princess Bride for example and what Wesley has to do to get buttercup back) would be far too much effort even if it does make him appear chivalrous.

Reminds me of what happened with the climax of the JULAY arc. Namely, when presented with the choice of his PSN accounts or Julie, he chooses the latter...but only because he expected that because this was the 'moral correct' choice, he would just get his cake and eat it too, proverbially. Ironically meaning his choice was not moral, just greedy. It was all a sham anyway but it does expose how Chris is always going to focus on his own personal gain as opposed to ever thinking of others.

 

[King Kiwi]

Chris is a retarded Voldemort, believing himself to be greater than what he is (but in this case he really isn't) and only caring about himself and having power over others.

Chris and Barbara are a shoe in for Slytherin.