random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Thomas Eugene Paris]

calls us sexist because we don't agree with how they take it in the ass or ear or between the boobs, they think how they like dick between their fake boobs is offendable by law in the form of sexism and IT'S NOT.

we're talking about offending the only two genders that exist on earth OR the millions of sexual social statuses that people can make up on a fucking whim.
faggots are THE MOST sexist, they breed off pure sexism, they endorse hatred for straight people because straight people wont let them rule the world with pedophilia.

like hating all women as a faggot and being unable to date them. hmmmmmmmmmmmmm??????? HMMMMMMM?????? yeah.

 

[seri0us]

the cursed Linux NVIDIA drivers

 

[IamnottheNSA]

I'm not the boogeyman I just call people names on the internet.

 

[Lithuophile]

People used to quote John Locke and Marcus Aurelius, now people think a quippy Spiderman line is profound.

 

[Meat Target]

From r/Bozeman:

 

[The Hero of Kvatch]

It's mostly interesting if you're trying to simulate being a kangaroo joey looking up at your ugly mother.

 

[Garamok]

@AStupidMonkey

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ad hitlerum in an article about sex in ancient rome: that about sums up the intellectual value of this word vomit

You know what? That's actually a good point. I'll consneed.

I rarely go through Jack's Facebook feed. I decided to take a short trip over there, and found a treasure trove of disgrace

More of a woman moment than niggardry. It's tinged with black mannerisms, but we do not grant it a position on the sheboon counsel.

I present to you fat disabled lesbian with a piss fetish that Doordashs multiple times a day complaining about the delivery guy mocking her pierced nipples.

Tim Pool is a major driver of anthropogenic climate change.

Her post history is nothing but whining and begging. “I’m ugly and lonely and have mental health problems, please eat my pussy after I piss my pants. Wanna go to comicon and eat my pussy after I piss my pants? My vape pen broke, halp”

If I follow your logic if you're a straight man you're sexist against men, because you don't want to fuck them.

Whose bright idea was it to cancel the eugenics program?

Go out and, as Hitler once said, “touch grass.”

Never tell her about how funny you think Total Nigger Death is and you’ll be happily married until she does find out, divorces you, hooks up with some weirdo bartender and becomes a domestic abuse victim.

Sorry for the cat sperging.

I'm literally feeling the gay emanating from this post.

I don't think he has gone a month this year without stepping on a rake.

I've had a long, stressful day.

I log on here, and read those words, "Curl into a ball and sit under your sink untill the swat team arrives", and all my troubles melt away in a series of rib shattering belly laughs.

I've read that line three times and have laughed each time.

Thank you kind sir for making my day brighter. It warms my cold kiwi heart that we can gather in the kinship of laughing at a fat man with bitch tits.

Obesity and alcoholism are serious threats to the native lolcow population. Both are self-inflicted maladies and can be easily prevented.

I had heard the name "Kiwi Farms" but never bothered to check it out until I read the WaPo article. It made this place sound awesome, and it is. Thanks, block-head!

 

[Kept Ya Waiting Huh]

"Honey, are you shirtless on the Internet again?"
"Uh, no..."

 

[Autistic Joe]

I can't believe how many retards try to force the courts to do retarded shit regarding a retarded forum that laughs at retards. Shit's retarded.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

That's the thing; this only affects Atlanta rich people, and white trash trannies ain't going to be able to put blacks in jail just because some nigga called them a fudge-packing ugly faggot with a shit wig made out of horse hair. Although, the meltdown of a bunch of white trash Walmart troons punking black people on hate crimes would be the funniest thing on earth.

The final showdown: "He called me a nigger" vs. "He called me a faggot".

Ronald M Niggerfucker, James G Wopanigger, and Yoel B Kikeman III sounds like the greatest law firm of all time.

Or "Anal Rampager", "Butt pirate", "Rectum Enjoyer" or similar?

 

[Seafarer]

If a man speedruns, speed run the fuck out

 

[keytar]

This is the fattest court filing I have ever seen, an absolutley obese document

If you or anybody you know is Dan Mullen you may be entitled to prison, child.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

If I were a crackhead, I'd wander around in a bicorne hat all day and smoke crack.

I'm just saying, if I didn't have to put in any effort and I didn't have to eat her out and I I'd get money for it and she was already on the bed, naked with her legs spread, I'd give her a good 3-4 pumps of codemeister's stiffmeister

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Do tranny vampires suck the hormones out your neck?

“I’m fighting Nazis, like for reals as my job.”

Nigger, you couldn’t even fight off tooth decay.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Perhaps you should try smoking crack?

 

[Seafarer]

Hes quite beyond just touching grass dude needs to frolick in the woods for a couple of a weeks.

One of these days someone will come up with the perfect way to imply that noted science fiction author and obese person Patrick S. Tomlinson is fat, and we will have to lock the thread because anything afterwards would be a disappointment.

 

[Gentlebastard]

I am beset by agents of the Devil and my path is righteous

I'd say "imagine the smell", but at this point, no imagination would be required. It would probably come up and introduce itself.

This whole thread can be summarized by a quote from a man who, and I may be in the minority here, is sometimes wiser than most think:

"And besides, if you stray away from the straight path, it can really jepordize the entire future." - Christian Weston Chandler

Democracy did not fail, it killed itself by doing a back flip

The Talmud is literally a record of 3000 years of Rabbis going "you are a fucking retard Moshe THIS is that G-d actually meant and wants" "No that is obviously stupid Ezekiel you goat fucker he meant this".

He was targeting the most expensive, feminine-looking suitcases reasoning that they were the most likely to contain high-end female clothes. That's that nuclear engineering degree from MIT at work.

Yes, I recognize your writing style from the Cow & Chicken fanporn forums some time way back.

Honestly the UN will probably make things worse. as is it prone to do.

Just napalm Haiti.

You can take the Nigger out of Africa, but never Africa out of the Nigger

Things are bad, when people are talking about a Kenyan military intervention as a solution. What a shitshow.

I'm rooting for the brutal gang lord for one reason:
"President Barbecue" could become an actual thing.

I'll never understand why this man bellies up to the smorgasbord of failure so many times. He seems to hate the taste, but the familiarity must bring him back every time.

Hes quite beyond just touching grass dude needs to frolick in the woods for a couple of a weeks.

we might actually be about to witness Total Retard War

It is the current year and I am not watching a hateful, spiteful social commentary wearing an IP like a skin suit. This...this is GOOD. Its FUN. Wtf?! I'm supposed to hate everything that comes out these days.

If there is one thing my father told me its this.
A pint of cum is worth more than a gallon of gold

My estimation of the porn community just fucking plummeted

Have you ever experienced loss so profound and pain so deep it made you get a corporate logo tattoo on your wrist and post it in black and white on reddit for updoots?

If that alone is not a red flag, just stick your penis in a blender.

This girl has been ruined by the internet, but there might still be hope.

I can't think of anything sweeter than people being forced to live with the consequences of their actions.

That's enough A&N for me. You're not going to get me angry, journoscum. Not today.

The troon says he's getting cremated. I hope we will find a way to determine sex by isotope ratios in ashes.

What, an artist being a sexually deviant weirdo? I literally can't even.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I'm currently rubbing pig lard on my gunt and chanting the ancient words "I worked at Microsoft", as the ancient Shane Summoning Spell dicates.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I only hate the fact I can’t put this thread on a bus and drive it around honking.