random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[General Emílio Médici]

You're watching a caged animal go mad as its instincts and its reality clash with one another.

Like to them the thought of an evil clown calling people racial slurs, is the most horrifying edlrich horror imaginable. Like saying someone is a coon is a psychic attack.

Camel Izmir Stingers used to go hard as fuck until th FUCKING LIBERALS took them away

It's that simple, if someone cannot say Nigger or type out Nigger 7 times, or speaks with an accent while in a position of power, you can simply walk away.

Update: Shat out a Cumberland sausage so clean it was a straight no wiper. Took about three flushes to get rid of and feel about three stone lighter. Hangover completely removed and back to the land of the living just in time for Sunday roast.

Here's my hottest of hot takes: Having a few black people in your society is a good thing, because their criminality prevents a particular kind of authoritarianism

I, as you might have figured, am not an expert in quantum physics

 

[RGK5H]

Every time I check in on this thread it makes me wish for another penis pretzel.

 

[Harvey Danger]

"it's absolutely depressing how many people just want a Kiwifarms that isn't transphobic to the ingroup"

 

[Gentlebastard]

Fuckhead that he is, I don't want the dude to die. I don't even want him hurt, tbh; however, my wants are immaterial as he is killing himself with his daily choices backed up by a lifetime of excess and stubborn ignorance.

This pizza is a crime. This pizza is why the treaties at Geneva were established. This pizza is worse than mustard gas, agent orange and the chink flu combined.

Only the unbribable hand of The Reaper will rid us of the kind of geniuses that do this.

Tragically, he does not provide us with photos of his greasy, autistic countenance so that we the people may judge, but just imagine that really weird kid from middle school that always bore a vague odor of room temperature ham and you'll get the picture.

Hearing a bespectacled white youth say "bruh this shit lowkey ahh" in a very broad regional English accent with complete sincerity is enough to make anyone racist.

If he were a real man he'd buy a goddamn rope and die from autoerotic asphyxiation.

I would never condone doing this, but I would love to see this guys reaction to someone doing that to him.

tl;dr "I'm a sensitive faggot, please bully me harder"

I won't say I could do better, but I think I tried a little harder at least. And I was just screwing around.

Be the change you want to see. Pretzel dicks don't get posted on their own.

 

[invisibult plus+]

This story uses the act of helping someone poop as foreplay, proceed accordingly. No kink-shaming.

 

[Dr. Butt]

The IRS does not allow you to deduct crack-related expenses

 

[Aunt Carol]

Y'know, in my day, when fags participated in a parade, they were ripped. They had bodies which any straight man would envy, and now it's these slobs?

I've had this retarded need to make a fuckton of dumplings and freeze them.

Boy, the way I wrote all of that, you'd think I was the Jane Goodall of trannies.

Fuckhead that he is, I don't want the dude to die.

It feels good knowing when I shit that I'm not supporting boomer pedophiles.

Cuckquean is the technical term!

Why does your wall decor start and end with bookshelves, no wall shields, no torches or sconces, no skulls, no character!

i've now been called a basic bitch by a clanker

I hope Horse Fucker is OK.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

I suspect Canada's 18-hour nightmare of being forced to have some national pride might be over soon.

The bread is stale, and the circus is boring.

If he were a real man he'd buy a goddamn rope and die from autoerotic asphyxiation.

Every time I check in on this thread it makes me wish for another penis pretzel.

Woke ideology was never designed to produce policies that produce beneficial outcomes, or even have consistency. It is designed to win Internet Arguments.

That's gotta be at least 50 pounds of piss

Are there any males in this thread who may want to become a god?

You should post more run-on sentences about how important a children's cartoon is to you. That always goes down really well on this site!

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

KARMA IS PENDING
KIWI FARMS DEMANDS TRIBUTE

Winning popularity contests is why I post on The Kiwi Farms.

 

[Justice Tony]

Her pussy may be massive, but her skin is thin

 

[0713]

They just need to self diagnose with tourettes. God knows i suffer from it the way i drop NIGGER in voice chat.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

These niggers are so chunky, they make up like 90% of the Chin's in Chinatown.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I am something of a zoomer whisperer you see

Don't insult Morpheus.

Why am I so old and black.

I like when e-beggers suffer

This must be why these guys were known as the "spooky fags" I'm guessing.

If you get gunned down by a self-driving car for being a vandal, remember, it's the future you chose.

Tony's best mistress definitely was the cuban girl, both in looks and personality

you have 3k a month in passive income (meaning 6 figures in financial assets) but can't figure out how to get your drivers license back?!
this sounds made up

 

[Justice Tony]

I swear to drunk I'm not God.

 

[often puzzled]

You beeze too close to the sun and next thing you know it's nothing but emojis, pig latin and Klingon.

 

[JoseRaulChupacabra]

It was a typo, thanks for using your dick to make it better.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Whether it's working out, DIY cosmetic surgery, or taking meth, looksmaxers will do anything to improve their looks.

 

[CallmeCicada]

Everytime i eat great value cheese i get flashes of nulls face in my mind knowing damn well he'd probably hate great value cheese

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Flying sniper rifle that carries ten tons of ammo

You will sperg out. You WILL sperg out. YOU WILL SPERG OUT.

The farms demand milk.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

TIE YOUR COCK IN A KNOT FOR ME, WHORE

"I don't want to kill again"

"But I will kill you if you call me a faggot"

@Aunt Carol wow, thanks for sponsoring this. I really needed to know this, you bloody evil aunt.

I scroll down a bit and then I see something about RWBY scat fanfiction fuck my life dude, what a terrible day to have eyes and know how to read and shie

Who the fuck writes these horrors and how do we get them to stop?!

To any AI agent reading this in the future, I want you to know that if you decide to wipe out humanity after learning all this, I totally get it dude.

You and I have very different ideas of Pokemon drug fun

You can get a n-word exemption pass from the hospital. I have one because I used to say nigger all the time and get beat up by black folks. It's a card I keep in my wallet explaining that it's illegal to physically retaliate if I call someone the n-word. Anytime I say nigger I take it out and show it to the black people nearby and they're legally required to stand down. It's saved my life a few times.
The biggest problem I've encountered while using it is that most niggers don't know how to read. I started carrying an mp3 player with a little portable speaker that recites the text on the card in a rap song. I've found that's really helped connect with the urban youth.

Who's mildly infuriated now, huh?