random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Cats]

@Ethan MacManus

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

"Ladies and gen-? Wait a sec, I'm being oppressed! This is amazing!"

Animals do NOT understand the concept of a gladiator style match. Animals fought for centuries in Roman arenas, and yet, in all that time, not once did they demand wages, unionize, form gladiator schools, prostitute themselves out to wealthy Roman women, lead slave revolts, or do any other thing which indicated they were aware of their status as gladiatorial combatants.



The man turned his back on the kangaroo because he knew he'd won. If the kangaroo had any balls, it could have used that opportunity to suckerpunch the man - but of course it didn't, because Glass Jaw Roo had no fight left.

I'm honestly assuming that 42% went into "don't say Jackie Chan, don't say Jackie Chan, say anyone but Jackie Chan" mode and hit a brick wall mentally.

Does the queer fiddle player from String Cheese Incident count as prominent?

"Think of the children" only its green hippie wacko types

I always knew those fast food paper cups that leave your drink tasting like chemicals were bad juju.

 

[Wowcoolusername]

The Queen of England is a lizard women. It's a fact. There is a CNN conspiracy to suppress the news for the Xenu Lizard People who run the world. Wake up sheeple!

 

[Jack Awful]

Post deleted, can't quote.

 

[Rotollo 2]

I have a hunch the hooker tranny that supports children transitioning is more progressive than an indian guy tweeting about hitler.

 

[tranny2000]

Looking dirty and stinky as always

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Not after what my uncle did to me. In any case, one of the joys of childhood is that you won't remember lots of traumatizing things.

 

[Meat Target]

So I get to fight anime AND israel at the same time? Sign me up.

 

[NyQuilninja]

Kyle Kulinski is a lesbian softball coach and I would not have sex with him.

I'd bully them. It would be easy too since they're weak little faggots.

Who never done blow from a Hookers Ass?

I hate myself.

Somebody's not trusting The Science. A common symptom of racist schizophrenia.

I DONT LIKE THEM PUTTING CHEMICALS IN THE TITTIES AND TURNING THE FRICKEN BABIES GAY

My uncle also became the victim of the barriers he broke when he was out driving drunk.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

YOU FUCKERS WERE IN CHARGE AND WE WERE CHILDREN.

 

[Penis Drager]

Who the fuck would traffic a troon? That's like robbing an outhouse and taking the shit to your local pawnshop.

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

Maybe he looks and sounds like Shrek himself, so for the past 20 years he's been bullied and had All-Star menacingly played in his direction.

I know I just wanted to make the distinction that being a tard in Texas isn't a hanging offense. You have to commit a capital crime too.

"sheeeit the sofa didn't kill him"
"put the recliner on top too"
"he still breathing"
"put another chair on him then"
"there that did it"

You know shit's going down when there's a naked person out on the sidewalk.

 

[verygayFrogs]

Autistic sorcery = autismancy

D.W. looks like a potato with a wig on it. How is that sexy?

Autism knows no bounds.

http://fetishfuel.wikia.com/wiki/Sonic_the_Hedgehog

Someone needs to give Carrie Fisher a fucking axe so she can go Internet Lumberjack on this shit.

Meesa needs an adult.

Holy autism, Batman!

this is some mach twenty 'tism right her

Freud would have had a field day with this one...

Hi Pregnant, I'm Terrified.

Autists of the world, unite! We have found your king.

I really should've guessed "party" was shorthand for "masturbating furiously alone in my room".

What the fuck do belly ribbons have to do with a car wash service? That's like Babies 'R Us promoting dildos.

I don't know how it's possible, but he somehow made Minions EVEN MORE cancerous

WHERE IS HIS FUCKING NECK

There needs to be a factory reset button on people.

and duck-shaped anal intruders, and a partridge in a pear tree!

View attachment 92971
when u nut but she keep suckin

"What's that, Plank? Wikia users are all Autists!? Right on the money, old pal!"

The autism is aggressive.

it gives the admin a boner

It's incredible how much a cheesy decade-old CN Halloween special can change a guy.

I wanna get off Mr. Enter's wild ride.

http://animefeet.wikia.com/
Imagine being so obsessed with your fetish that you shovel screenshots from fucking Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games into your wank bank.

is that like porn for autistic people or something?

It's a never ending deluge of explosive autism.

SHITS MY UNDERWEAR IN RAGE

Autism has no limits.

It would be a mercy to us all if the ghost of Robert Chandler went full lumberjack on Nate's internet connection.

Zootopia: A decent movie...if it weren't for those fucking parking meters.

Ok I’m officially giving this the “most autistic thing I read today” award

Never underestimate the power of autism.

The UK has Purple Aki. Ohio has Yellow Pedo.

I'm not saying he should be castrated by an angry hyena in Minecraft, but...

You know shit's going down when there's a naked person out on the sidewalk.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I recomend you suck my cock.

 

[Hollywood Hitler]

for fuck's sake stop getting your autism all over the thread by posting animal rape videos.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

White supremacists gonna wear thigh high socks and suck everyone's dick. It's really terrible

 

[Local Fed]

My love of hard, throbbing cocks has nothing to do with Israel kicking the shit out of the Arabs or our vocational alcoholism.

Don’t make me send out a guy with no legs in a wheelchair to fling rocks at you.

The Japanese are literally killing your family via harpoons and yet you sit here discussing Ethan Ralph...disgraceful.

Israel sirens be like ssssshhhhhhhhoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhssssshhhhhhhoooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Imagine that some time after the stream some Hamas spokesman gives a shotout to Vaush and thanks him for his support.

keep pretending you're working Mr. President don't let the mean internet trolls get to you're doing great

Tumblr banning porn was one of the worst things possible for politics.

 

[Meat Target]

Fat girl summer sounds like something straight out of null's fetish list.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Soon I won't be able to toast a hand-tossed homemade pie in the oven at home without causing two mixed families of 8-10 each to teleport into my kitchen and start fighting over a spilled pepsi.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

This shit is why you order ahead on the app and use the fucking Pizza Portal.