random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

"I will be deleting my account the moment [Elon Musk buys Twitter] happens. This site is already too toxic." - @Ron Toye

 

[LemonParty]

I've been neglecting this thread for a bit but I want some more random quotes. Submit some favorites.

What I'm looking for:
- Couple sentences max.
- Is interesting out of context, optimally begs a question.
- Not a quote from me.
- Links to thread where it originates is a huge bonus.

Does not have to reference the Kiwi Farms.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ETHAN! LOVE YOUR DAD JIM & BEST FRIENDS JOSH, FLAM, AND GATOR. GOOD LUCK ON THE UPCOMING CORN HARVEST!"

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/4-12-22-ethan-ralph-trolled-live-on-local-tv.116698/

 

[Doctor Ivo Robotnik Sr.]

This thread proves to me that Pentecost is a devil religion and the lord is punishing them for their trans(get it)gressions.

Most women only have two holes down there, he has three! He's a super woman!

"Fanny's pussy horts,"

Nigga got that Taco Bell pussy.

his fake designer pussy is farting uncontrollably how is this not home page worthy?

I'm stealing this one because it was really good.

 

[Pinball 2000]

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/matthew-soltys-nitro-rooski-capital-city-fur-con-spark-the-dalmatian-fenris-the-wolf-cyder-the-donkey-djmsol-entertainment.83361/

 

[Altera]

I am nominating myself, in response to shawnphase.

Nobody was even talking about you till you schizoblasted us with your shitty panty proposition. Go back to spending time in a crew of her ex boyfriends and your mom.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

Regardless of whether or not an open debate can even happen in todays climate, the best analogy about nature vs. nurture is one I oddly enough learned through studying religious philosophy and kung fu panda.

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

Secrets of the Castle part 3 of 5, the scene starting at 28:45.

Well, I'll be honest. There was some roadkill, so I shaved it.

 

[Fleetwood]

Liam Gray aka @Tyne is a gold mine of quotes "I am good at sex and I have money" is one of his most famous. Full quote is "I am usually only wanted because I am good at sex and I have money" also another good one from these dms is " So do I but I'd still love to have our friendship and fuck your brains out #Romance"
Here is his thread but he is also discussed heavily in the Comicsgate thread.
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/liam-gray-retroboy1983-akashic-soldier-tyne-conquest-comics.78083/

 

[Mooger Meng]

Words of wisdom from an ancient thread:

Anyone who sticks a Bluetooth device up their ass pretty much deserves Russian hackers in their anuses.

 

[RollerGator]

ARREST HIM! ARREST HIM!

 

[Maricón de Mierda]

Fuck, even his penis looks autistic.

You're all a bunch of weird idiots and I love you guys.

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned pedo lynching thread to gather every Kiwi from every retarded circle on this website to all unite into one giant Giga Tard.

Even Null is a fag 'coz he doesn't have a wife and I guarantee he will be on a wrong side of 40.

 

[Andrew Neiman]

Greer write all of his own music.

 

[Kot Johansson]

Guess 4chan was right.. never trust a fuckin furfag.

Source

 

[Gorgar]

title

 

[WutangLee]

ARREST HIM! ARREST HIM!

FUCK YOU RAPE IT RALPH

 

[Thumb Butler]

"I have been clean for a good 5 weeks"

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/cant-a-person-have-a-chance-to-change.117669/#post-11749988

 

[The Whore of Babylon]

-glitchedpuppet, pedo and self admitted dogfucker on their newly revived tumblr account

 

[El Porko Fako]

"BANNED! BANNED! BANNED! BANNED! BANNED! Gone. Forever.

-DSP while wearing a military dictator hat

https://kiwifarms.st/attachments/jake4-png.1000004/

"When I was a child, other children would punch me in the face, kick me in the kidneys, sic dogs on me, tie me up and throw me down ravines."

-Jake Alley/Cassandra Ocean

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Please don’t ask me how I’m doing. I’m literally farting out of my new vagina.

I’d take back the damn dick if I didn't have to pass gas through the damn thing.

I had my dick turned into a vagina and you haven't messaged once.

all of this is in the OP of the Landon Hiscock aka Fanny Traggot thread

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/landon-hiscock-lana-hiscock-fanny-traggot-fanny_traggot-niobiumprincess-niobiumempress.114917/

(Just a side note, if your feeling down in the dumps, check this thread out again because holy shit it’s funny)

 

[Devil Buster Busters]

"I wouldn't WANT to eat a double helping of nuggets in that timeframe, but I could easily."