random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

Did he get it dismissed because he fixed the God damned fence finally or because Milwaukee is a shithole without basic fence standards?

Or the mayor's office got a gift basket of pepperoni.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Tranny validation measure
Broke: you take HRT
Woke: you chopped your dick off
Bespoke: you have an active kiwifarms thread laughing at you

 

[Aunt Carol]

Maybe I should offer blowjobs for game consoles on Twitter. Show Lou what having a work ethic looks like.

 

[LurkTrawl]

Half of those pictures are fine, but they're trapped between all the pictures she took after she discovered food, and that's making it hard to masturbate to.

I'd appreciate it if someone rearranged them in descending order of weight, guesstimated is fine.

 

[NoReturn]

The content on Kiwi Farms is notoriously transphobic.

- Source

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Riddle me this, Batman:
Who loves children, but is running out of time,
hates a bird and is mad enough to commit crime?

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Any book that gets John Lennon shot can't be that bad.

Owning a Hawaiian shirt and firearms and hating the Feds isn't a uniting factor because everyone in the US should have all of those anyway.

Yeah those are rookie numbers. When I got my DUI at least I fucking earned it.

How big is their labia if common underpants just can't hold them?

If you told me I was going to be raped by 16 autistic clowns in Hell, I'd die laughing because that is absurd. Why is there a rape gang of 16 autistic clowns in Hell and how would anyone alive know about them?

 

[Ken Barlow]

he cut off his own dick, there's nothing I can take from him

 

[Norbert the Tiger]

[A] tranny [Keffals] thats addicted to Twitter and made fart porn is mocking me. Then clearly what I'm doing is pretty damn good if I happen to get the mockery of such filth.
At the end of the day I'll go to sleep nicely knowing that I'm making men like him seethe and thrash their teeth by doing nothing because they'll never be a woman like me.

 

[Blackhole]

"Prison awaits, stalker children. Your obsession over my unbelievable amazing life for 1000 pages shows how stupid and deranged you truly are. My pepperoni operation will continue unmolested."

"Thus i am writing you this letter from across state lines to formally notify you of your impending sexual assault..."

Taking credit for random shit is also something Ralph does. They are OTP. The Raffles ship will sail. The most masculine power couple 2022.

 

[Autistic Joe]

Would that be considered a troon-op or just a normal gay-op?

A post-op.

 

[Nom Carver]

 

[Local Fed]

I'm just happy canadian tax dollars are wasted on reading my shitty posts.

When I look at the kinds of people we piss off - wignats, fraudsters, trannies, zoosadists, pedos, journalists - I know I am in good company here.

WE'RE THE STORMFRONT OF TRANSPHOBIA

My Kiwibros and Kiwisisters, the tyrannical Troons may take our free time, but they'll never take. Our. AUTISM!!!!!

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

Apologies if anyone has posted these before, but here are a couple of Spidge-isms I'd like to recommend;

SUCKS YOUR DICK AGAIN FOR IMPERSONATING ME AND COPYING AND PASTING MY MESSAAGE AND REPLACING "SUCKS YOUR DICK" WITH "SUCKS YOUR DICK"

(PUNCHES YOU IN THE FACE FOR SAYING I "HAVE SEX WITH WOMEN" WHICH I DON'T)

 

[Table Country]

he cut off his own dick, there's nothing I can take from him

 

[Fomo Hoire]

A single, sufficiently-stubborn person can do a lot - and that person can be you.

Thank you Null

 

[The Ultimate Ramotith]

Imagine if they blamed the yellow pages for phreaking in the 80s.

 

[Fannyscum]

Can you imagine anything more chad than telling someone grieving for their dying mother to email Moloch?

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Remember that Total Drama-Rama episode about the fart fairy?

I buried that memory, but apparently not deep enough.

That's how their country holds elections. You find the village faggot and whoever hits him with the biggest piece of wood gets to be mayor.

Other than the dead kid, this video is pretty funny.

Did he jump in there without his pants on because he's wearing a shirt?

(except where involving furries and sex weirdos)

"play stupid games, win fatal prizes".

Someone should prepackage a few "cleansing ritual kits" and sell them at Hot Topic; guarantee the moms of teen witches would be willing to spring for them.

They/them pussy is the fentanyl of western masculinity.

Dating in 2022: Why Do So Many Straight Men Hate Astrology?

Spoiler your Salad Fingers porn man.

There’s a guy I suspect of being a serial cat killer. Can’t prove it and the police are useless. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s on that subreddit.

White trash couple vs. short-dicked faggot with mommy issues.

This is why "don't fuck with the help" remains one of the most important rules to live by. Another is "if you walk into a restaurant and the 'help' is all black, go somewhere else."

The autism is self-evident, its one of the reasons why we like him in the first place.

It would be interesting to know the story behind the dude who punches the shit out of that chick.

The video @tehpope posted reminds me simultaneously of both a school/college and a homeless shelter. It's bizarre.

It's like the school-to-prison pipeline, only instead of prison, it's wagie-cages.

Oi lads i got me a auto slipper tudhay. Lets tumble de wumble and see wuts in the belly. forst, give me channel some thummies and push the dinger to get more showies in ya postbin.

If there isn't a thread where people are talking about George Bush stealing Indian skulls, though, you should consider starting one.

Imagine you had an ugly, crappy novelty bag. Eh, why not.
No imagine 550 ugly, crappy novelty bags.

This is terrifying. What a frightening thing you've discovered.

HOW CAN ANYONE THINK THAT LOOKS LIKE A PENIS?!?

Don’t pretend that the heebs aren’t frying us with mirrors in the sky. I know your game, JIDF.

"I WANT EVERYTHING ABOUT THOSE SPACE LAZERS OFF THE INTERNET"

Man, of all the things I thought I'd see tonight, "KiwiFarms says trans rights" wasn't one of them.

That does it, I'm going to start printing paper bags with the Kiwifarms logo and name on them, then use them for the old flaming dog shit trick so we get blamed for that too.

I'm surprised the "swatter" didn't name himself YouWillNeverFindMe1488 (Patrick S. Tomlinson actually made that his protonmail name to send himself an email that he included in a lawsuit)

I'm so sorry Josh, I know you just wanted to play vidya and laugh at fat chicks and retards, then somehow this all became your cross to bear.

I'm glad this site can be both a nazi echo chamber and a group of super hacking damn dirtty commies

I kinda envy you, those early shallow sex romp years would have been far less challenging if I could have just rolled up to a Waffle House and be hot for the waitress.

Nothing could possibly go wrong. This is a great idea.

"The Enemy of my Enemy is not my friend, The Enemy of my Enemy is probably giant faggot too."

This whole thing puts me in a difficult spot, because on one hand trannies will never be real women, on the other hand women suck and fucking ruin everything.

I will continue to use the site as if nothing it wrong, just how I’ve always done in times of hardship.

 

[Cats]

Shmeat