random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Personally, I like the power-ass-reaming method of evisceration. Very impressive, very metal.

I work with a white woman who dates a black guy. You can take a guess at her weight.

Mayonaise is the life blood of autistics, have you ever seen a fat retard in a foodcourt? The mayonnaise pile is what my nightmares are made of. It's enough to put you off to all mayonnaise based condiments for life.

 

[Lithuophile]

Being okay with teacher-student sex led to Emmanuel Macron. That alone is sufficient argument against it.

I'm going to get that bastard Aqua Man some day for stealing my gold fish.

White horses fuck dogs

 

[Kheapathic]

Your true goal should be to become a slumlord with 20 AirBnBs, like some sort of GTA character, maybe showing up unannounced at a few of them with a billy club and a meth-addled sneer on your face now and then, because that's what actually pays the fucking bills in this society. That's what is rewarded. Wagie doesn't get shit. Wagie EATS shit.

 

[Monolith]

Imagine being such a depraved subhuman you're willing to have your real name and personal details attached to a Minecraft sex mod.

 

[Aunt Carol]

"wow, that's very non-sexual... now how can I beat off to it?"

 

[veritarded]

i've been saving these since i made this account, sorry if some have been posted

He had sex while listening to a DeOrio video? can Flamenco man up for once in his life and beat him up

Listen, you britbong faggot, your mother, and sisters and daughters are getting raped by sandy niggers, and if you say a single thing about it in a public space you go to prison for longer than the sandnigger that did the rapign will. If i care about your fucked up opinion, i'll send you money for an opinion license and you can share it. Otherwise, just shut the fuck up, you faggot. Our founding fathers kicked the redcoats the fuck out 250ish years ago so don't have to listen to you run your fuckign mouth.

Kids these days have gone insane with the weed, though. When I was nineteen, if you got some bud a kid grew in the arroyo behind his house you were made, and now these kids are dabbing and smoking Super Ass Fucker Mongolian Death Weed or whatever they call it.

Why is Null the one pregnant thats ungodly fucking cursed

"Why does my baby cry when it sees me?"
"Is my baby trolling me?"

You know you fucked up when Holocaust Nigga is the only person giving sane advice in your replies.

I counted something like 7 car accidents, at least 5 instances of being banned for being a sex pest, countless homeless sagas. And for the past 5 years, he's had some bdsm horror troon telling him he's a useless retard on almost all his posts.

God I love when pooner take pics of themselves after getting their tits chopped off. "Don't I look like a Boy?" No honey you have an hour glass form you look like something the Nazis forgot to kill back in 45.

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@CIA Nigger is too busy jacking off to anthropomorphic cars.

The more time he's chimping out to comments here is less time he's grooming someone's daughter.

Mango Ranch doing a public service once again.

> I ended up on the Attack on Titan reddit looking for George Floyd memes
I'm sorry, you were doing what?

"Jalyn you tried to dox yourself for people to swat you"
"Yea I thought it would be funny lol

The day will come when (((The World Government))) prevents schizos from using the internet, but today IS NOT THAT DAY!

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"Yeah, I've been watching jagime no ippo lately and I think I'm ready for a fight"

Best of luck, chief.

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Wait I thought it was normal to chain up teenagers in your basement and force them to work in the bitcoin mines.

Sitting around fighting with Kengle on Twitter sure looks like a fun vacation activity.

Ralph says we’re obsessed haters but really I’m just bored at work and wasting corporate time here at the moment

Fucking Azov Battalion went on air and took credit for getting my Twitter banned

Roses are red
Josh is forlorn
He doesn't have barns
To hold all this corn

No! Fuck you. Take giant loads of Negroid semen in your ass in PRISON you asshole!

"Welcome to Walmart...eat a dick bish."
"Welcome to Walmart whore. You fucking whore!!!"
"Welcome to Wal-Why won't you die medicare!!!"

Learn how to be funny and how not to seething in every post

God isn’t going to help you own the a-logs

Probably paying their taxes since the IRS just hired 80 thousand faggots agents.

This tweet made me laugh hard.
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What grapevine are they getting their info? Hobos in the street?

This whole thing is a result of Sam's $15 break up spell from Etsy

What a dignified statesman. I remember when Goebbels was accosted by Jews at a schnitzel stand and he also threw a tard rage. Got Zyklon B all over his youngest kid.

Faith tried to rape me in a Rite Aid but I stiff armed her into a rack of cheap sunglasses

If I had a FB I'd be in there telling them what they are: nigger cattle.

Yes I may have had my face smashed in and am permanently disfigured, but this hospital gave me VALIUM!

Harry the Hammer is gonna kick the shit out of Ralph for messing with his daughter then kick the shit out of Vickers for being a faggot and then kick the shit out of Null because why not

I hate that I knew this but he froze his sperm already.. day 58

The nigga did drugs with his sister confirmed? (Source: me)

 

[Oliver Onions]

Pardon my soft eyes

 

[Rotollo 2]

p.s. if you rate me MATI I will cum
p.s.s. ^thank you I have already climaxed

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I’m sorry to hear that you’re British. I will do my best to look past it

 

[Meat Target]

Please, pink triangle newfag - tell me more about what is and isn't acceptable behavior on Kiwi Farms.

If that doesn't work, go for the hail mary. Vodka and Taco Bell while sitting in a hot car.

 

[make_it_so]

i scolled past an email i sent myself titled "whale blowjob" to be here.

 

[Gentlebastard]

He screams at them (and these words are recorded into my brain precisely): "You let an enigma with brown boots, 290 fucking move speed, walk up and cast a spell on you idiots!" This is a sentence of history altering importance which has changed my perspective on the world.

Venus is one warm shithole with oppressive atmospheric pressure, retarded retrograde rotation and barely any sun visible. Definitely a depressing place if you can survive it. Abortion is legal there, as everyone and everything gets aborted.

Mars is cool, chilled temps, ideal for grilling with the boys, longer orbit to get more speeding out of your year, and a metal reddish theme.

You don't get between pervs and their wank material and expect to last long.

I don't even know why I'm upset and it's sort of faggotry that I am, but yes. I am an "unperson" now and I guess I'll just have to make do with Kiwifarms and amholes.

Of all the memes in my 3,000 image, half-decade old meme album, I never thought that this would be applicable to anything on the forum

Lego porn just has to be the most…like, if stepping on them in the middle of the night wasn’t painful before…

Carrying a knife to stab your colleagues for doing a double take when they pass you in the toilets is a little odd

"Being" is inappropriate and offensive because it impinges upon those who do not exist. How dare you colonize me with your ontology?

I have nothing to add other than to say that if someone has any desire at all to play a sexual version of Minecraft they are unspeakably, irredeemably autistic.

>jacking off to porn
>paying for porn instead looking at free stuff
>downloading a minecraft mod for porn despite the recent curseforge security shitshow
>tolerating DRM for porn
>doxing yourself to a mentally ill troon dev for porn
>all that trouble for blocky voxel tittes

So many layers of bad decision making here.

Every damn time- EVERY DAMN TIME I do something fun the internet spoils it.

Minecraft is the least sexual video game in existence so OF COURSE coomers and troons make rape simulators.

To say I am in an autistic rage about the shit I am reading here is an understatement.

Don't you just love to have childhood memories poisoned by porn addicts and trannies?

Imagine getting blackmailed by trannies into taking HRT because you gave them your dox for a minecraft sex mod

this is all a gayop to get the most degenerate coomers to dox themselves so they can be trolled into oblivion, is the cope I will now be repeating to myself for the next 24 hours

Everyday I'm more horrified by the degeneracy of the coomer mind.

 

[Colloid]

Mine's way too long-winded to be a random.txt but I appreciate the thought. I prefer random.txts that are more succinct in their humor/insanity, like an autistic fortune cookie.

 

[NoReturn]

Hundreds of thousands of people are eating cornstarch???!!! I didn't take the thread title seriously because it's fucking absurd and never in my life have I ever thought about eating that shit and I know zero people who do and never even heard about it. I thought the thread is about black people eating food made with too much cornstarch, not literally biting into fucking cornstarch bricks, Jesus Christ!!

 

[Aunt Carol]

Any room at work can be your own private bathroom, if you're not a coward.

Carrying a knife to stab your colleagues for doing a double take when they pass you in the toilets is a little odd

 

[gorgoroth7134]

I'm too autistic to look at Hitler's beautiful eyes.

DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE YOU FUCKING LEFTIST KIKES I HOPE YOU DEMONS RETURN TO HELL UPON THE END DIE DIE DIE

 

[Pedophobe]

Mess with the lolbull, get the lolhorns

This place is one hell of an in depth encyclopedia of very fucking odd people.

 

[Autistic Joe]

How do you even begin to recover from getting btfo'd this hard by a guy who chooses to call himself Chungus87? Is it even possible?

Making a trans rights poster with your fursona is the same as making political ad with my World of Warcraft Character, just more retarded.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

"You are not a toilet, stalker."

 

[Molesting the Decapitated]

Ah, literal faggotry. I assumed metaphorical.