random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Gentlebastard]

Some gay nigga with AIDS got so upset that he wrote this garbage lol

I may be a diseased plague rat but at least I'm not rude!

Noooooooooooooooooooo

You can't just heccin adhere to the principles of 2000 years of Roman and British common law that protect both sides of a case in an endeavor to find the truth instead of adhering to the principles of burn the witch

Noooooooooooooooooooo

Why the fuck don't we ever get the GOOD parts of cyberpunk dystopias?

Maybe Chantal & the other TLC wannabes have tempered my perception of deathlards, but she is only moderately fat and I might have sex with her.

She's just fat, not even morbidly obese, and yet I want to tell her she's the fattest and ugliest woman I've ever seen just because her reaction would be funny.

man, sounds like getting your butt pumped full of AIDS is a bad idea

You're being strangled to death and you're mistaking the strangler adjusting his grip on your throat for him getting tired and letting go.

I'm not a big fan of "I look at your face and I can tell your a degen" mentality but goddamn

"Yes I'm a troon, but at least I'm not a faggot!"

"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become a lolcow."

I keep telling you all "Suffer not the furry to live", and this is what happens when you suffer the furry to live.

> Metrosexual-looking fem ladyboy who wants to make a 800-hour documentary on EVE online found out to be gay furry retard.

Wow, how surprising. No, really, what a shocker.

I just love how I can randomly go to any fucking page of this thread and laugh until my fucking sides burst and my roommates think I'm choking to death and ask if I'm sick or something.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Well now I know and for you fucking autists I’ll make sure to write all my game facts with one to one super detailed accuracy including every single time John S. Microsoft took a shit before he walked into Rare, saw the big ape and said “Yo fam we own that nigga right?!!”

 

[Kirk Van Houten]

It takes a special kind of forgiving soul to take a guy back after he announces your pussy stinks on Facebook. I guess true love still exists.

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

they're fucking dogs do they really need a faggot?

 

[Aunt Carol]

People don't shoplift hair products from Walmart because they are mentally healthy and have excellent coping skills.

 

[Pedophobe]

'working at the junction of tech and medicine in very sensitive areas, I was responsible for maintaining key structures'

That woman's so fat not even a Pitbull could bite through her neck.

Words can't describe my hate for these people.

Got to watch out, those hundred pound girls who are afraid to leave their house because everything scares them and they larp as anime women are the true threat to "our" democracy.

Imagine that degenerate fuckup being your son. Very depressing

Retarded John Grishams need to step back and let the real fun happen.

 

[LanceHaver]

"And that's where this is personal. I'm a Romano-British reconstructionist pagan ... What does this have to do with Ukraine? I'll tell you."

 

[Aunt Carol]

Not to moralfag too hard, but I'd get kinda cranky if I was like Armenian or Jewish or something.

 

[Triple Flutz]

Very old, but I'm reading the Richard ''Terra'' Jones thread and I had forgotten how iconic "You are now comparing me to Buffallo Bill which is actually now one of my triggers." was. (sic)

I'd definitely enjoy the reminder once in a while so I may never again forget this pearl.

 

[JethroTullamore]

His fursuit was heckin' cute before it was desecrated and turned into a cum rag.

 

[AnOminous]

Very old, but I'm reading the Richard ''Terra'' Jones thread and I had forgotten how iconic "You are now comparing me to Buffallo Bill which is actually now one of my triggers." was. (sic)

I liked the mod response which was to change his pfp to Buffalo Bill.

 

[Autistic Joe]

"Maybe the real trans genocide was the kids we groomed along the way "

 

[TV's Adam West]

There should be a crossover where your mom is gang raped by niggers.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

Imagine having a blown out asshole full of AIDS, and being mad that it's not considered "clean".

I'm not a writer, I'm sure you could do better, you dumb fucking monkey. Go build a fire or something.

If you're not a writer, don't pretend you can write any better. Go suck your daddy's dick, stalker child.

What the hell is wrong with you chud enablers? These Nazis haven't put their PENIS in a VAGINA. Do you not understand how this one fact makes them the most dangerous and evil terrorists to ever exist?

If he were like wonder bread guy and commissioning fish head porn, that might actually be something funny to laugh at.

It is the job of Witchers to decide who is a good Incel that wishes to live in peace and an evil Incel who spreads chaos.

Why concern yourself with women when you can mow a lawn

Gurofags are weird but at least they keep their niche to themselves, I never see some retard be audacious enough to splash 'GURO PRIDE WORLD WIDE' across websites with comments like "Normalize dismemberment porn" or something.

I feel personally attacked, stabbed, gutted, and defenestrated

okay I did cry in my car at work during my lunch break but I'm just a baby when it comes to nostalgic shit

 

[Meat Target]

Hey, if we just repealed the polygamy laws, Utah would triple the population!

"You don't need to rub it in Brigham, I'd just be quadruple lonely at that point"

 

[Chickenpolar]

You Will Never Be A Real Vampire.
You have no teeth, you have no coffin, you have no ruined castle in the Carpathians

 

[Aspiring Artist]

Most people don't find decapitation erotic.

the anti-trans Internet eye-of-Sauron

If I had a time machine, I would definitely nip back to 2001 and bang her.

You'd think that they'd be all over something like a ribbon eel, for instance. It changes not just sex, but colour too! It's a fishy magical girl!

What did she send you her ID and driver's license too along with her nudes?

 

[vomitusdeux]

>nearly fucking dies to be able to pee out of her clitoris
>her main concern is that her pee sounds like a girl's

That scrotum is very amusing.

fuck these two beaners in particular

Every morning, I pee after my wife. so i asked her. She says our pee sounds alike to her. I think it sounds alike too.

Lol, do you need Daddy to tickle your prostate, little boy?

 

[Oxyjen]

He looks like an Asian ET

 

[Lithuophile]

Some bloke sitting in a prison courtyard dressed up like the boy in the striped pajamas rapping about Justin Bieber playing with his dick like a barbie