random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Yamamura]

I just hope the courthouse lets him bring his guitar in. If you've already written the one-woman rock opera about your dad's abuse, you might as well sing it on the stand.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I finally get some time to myself and go to check the Gourd Head's thread only to find myself strapped to Mr. Stinky Snack's Wild Ride...

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

And she needs to learn that calling someone a pedophile for liking a fictional character that just happens to be a child is extremely disingenuous and fucked up.

 

[Mr Steal Your Farm]

Nikolas Talbott, the 30 year old pedophile who tried to use Kiwifarms to harass an 14 year old girl:

Hi, I can't seem to post threads here yet, but there's this ftm troon who goes by "kit" pronouns (no, really) who's been constantly harassing me and just about every person who plays Genshin Impact, including minors. She thinks everyone who plays the game is a pedophile (all of the characters in it are fictional and the majority of the playable characters are adults), and also called a 15 year old in the Genshin Impact Unofficial discord server a pedophile for liking klee.

and

There's so much better lolcows to focus on than some random person who plays genshin impact. Last thing I'm saying here, I'm done with this site.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

“And yea, though you may walk into the valley of the dreaded fuzzy fruit and flightless bird bravely, know that you may never know peace as the ledgers of the sick and proclivities of the evil will be engraved into your kek-seeking mind forcefully and righteously. If you are not ready for this, the forbidden sickly knowledge of the internet and all its wily mischief, then turn back to your normie naive websites, you fucking faggot”.
~The Book of Kiwis, Foreword Warning

 

[Fathomless Eminence]

To be as fair as possible, they're 11 rather than 9, and it's a train rather than an orgy.

 

[Cronkle]

You really let a tranny niglet bully you and now you have dozens of autists clowning on you. Have you considered killing yourself yet? In genshin impact of course

 

[Admiral Throbnelius]

there's this ftm troon who goes by "kit" pronouns (no, really) who's been constantly harassing me and just about every person who plays Genshin Impact, including minors. She thinks everyone who plays the game is a pedophile (all of the characters in it are fictional and the majority of the playable characters are adults), and also called a 15 year old in the Genshin Impact Unofficial discord server a pedophile for liking klee.

I don't care that she's 14, she's fucking sick in the head. And she needs to learn that calling someone a pedophile for liking a fictional character that just happens to be a child is extremely disingenuous and fucked up.

But she's PERFECT lolcow material and a sick girl, as well as a risk to a bunch of people on the internet. This fucking piece of shit needs her internet access cut off for the rest of her life. Me, my friends, and just about everyone in the genshin impact fandom has fallen victim to people like her. Genshin Impact haters are seriously delusional and it's fucking tiring to deal with them every single goddamn day.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Real therapists also do not recommend secret fetish blogs fantasizing about raping children as a way to deal with pedophilia.

Nigga, buy in bulk!

 

[Return of the Freaker]

No, child. As you have been told time and time again, you will not eat. Enjoy Russell.

 

[Daniel Wallace]

Fucking pedophiles ruin everything.

 

[KiwiFarmer9993!]

"As a man, why would you trade your life, your precious life, for anus" -An AIDS victim

 

[Seafarer]

Drexel is dumber than I thought if he thinks anything about him can be monetized or is worth anything. A 1600s slave ship couldn't sell that retard.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

I was incredibly depressed because I couldn't get a girlfriend. So I became a femboy to suppress my desire.

The first time I got an erection, I thought I had somehow broken it.

A better boast would be "I'm based wherever I go."

"Fong," said Null, after a slight pause. "Everyone called him Brick Face. He clearly wasn't normal, the name speaks for itself. He had a brick for a face. Whether that's because someone threw bricks at his face and caused the disfigurment or because his face had the unique texture of fireblasted clay, nobody quite knew."

 

[Meat Target]

Every crime or sin ever commited was done by somebody with a skeleton and what? You think that's just some kind of coincidence? They are NO GOOD!

 

[Yamamura]

Good Evening Kiwi farms, this is your boy xXWild_DripXx, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the fuck out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point that it feels fucking weird when I go and take a piss.

 

[Hitman One]

You are coming to my website and hotlinking fucking /pol/ shit to my threads. What did I do to deserve this? You phoneposting queers

 

[GunCar Gary]

I removed and ate my own cock a lil over 2 years ago and I would love to eat more cocks

 

[Path Wanderer]

The endless battle to banish the world’s most notorious stalker website​

 

[Pendulous Dong]

I'm going to stick it to the kikes while they fight over who can liquidate my funkopop collection.