random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Sparkling Yuzu]

when did it become sane, let alone liberal and enlightened, to disclose that you chose to rework your whole identity around your mental spank bank of gay Naruto and Pokemon ships?

 

[Aero the Alcoholic Bat]

Didnt realize consent accidents is the hot new fetish everyone has now.

 

[Lithuophile]

Don’t tell this nigga about 'zellig, he’ll commission an AMV where Coco femdom rapes him in full Boer war outfit.

 

[Mankirk]

Fuck off, fnaf ain't for babies and tf2 comics are awesome

 

[Tablet County]

I live in constant fear of being spermjacked by musical demons.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

EDIT - I wasn't previously aware of how many misogynists and nonce apologists are on this site. Fascinating. And gross

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Her brain has a good capacity and runs pretty smoothly with minimal downtime.

 

[Tablet County]

The reason why it'd legal to have sex at 100 and older is because "100" has three digits and thus it consumes more computing power in the database. Those bits are precious and we shouldn't waste the resources of the legal system.

A white man’s burden to buy a Nigga some liquor.

Hard SF is the 'realistic beauty standards' to soft SF's 'big tiddie goth GF'

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

I know it's unrelated to the current discussion but I'm wondering what will happen if you line up 100 pajeets on a train track?

 

[Tablet County]

fitness is such a universal good that it makes you better at absolutely everything, which of course includes anal sex and reach-arounds.

I, too, never tasted true freedom until I started drawing dicks on things at age 8. Like when I drew dicks all over the inside of the Babysitter's Club books at school, I felt as God.

 

[Haloperidol]

Jesus christ i cant even joke about how fat he is or how much a faggot he is or how big his bitch tits are or how many schvoogies tooted in his wife's cooter today.

This is just objectively fucking retarded

‘how many schvoogies tooted in his wife’s cooter’ is downright melodic. Will work into my slur rotation for sure.

 

[Winter]

So you've finally shown your true colors, haven't you null? Guess these trannies brought out the real Joshua Moon, the biggest DSP simp and cuck on the fucking internet.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

STATE
ENFORCED
HOMOSEXUALITY

 

[RACISM]

No one gets away with calling me smelly, fat, or a cunt

 

[Tablet County]

Why do I keep seeing these EvaXephon quotes that lead to nowhere?

 

[keytar]

The first time I saw my hometown mentioned on the Internet it was a screenshot of an autistic girl on deviantart publicly begging shadow the hedgehog to come to her house, along with her full address.

 

[Sprate Header]

There's shooting yourself in the foot, and then there's just shoving a warhead packed with fissile material into your face and detonating it like Arasaka tower.

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Nigga shopping in a pineapple under the sea for undergarments.

I think if Sade had ever seen Kevin, he'd have seen the error of his ways and died at the foot of the Cross.

Tell us more about the fetishes that trannies have ruined for you.

if you're not british: stop staying things that are so retarded they make me think you're british

That jail is filled with pissers and cock showers during that particular season.

And if you think I'm going to even look at your third grade level, barely realistic assessment of the catastrophe that is the American Civil War, you can lick my nuts.

 

[Electric Mortar & Pestle]

Stand back. I'm going to say the n word.

 

[Tablet County]

"rayman noodles"

Just try to steal my future you fat bitch, I'll fuck you up!