random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[keytar]

He went on some thing where you drink booze on a school bus and drive to an art gallery to drink more booze; then, you get back on the bus and drink more booze so you can drive around to various art installations and drink more booze. Milwaukee!

 

[whatever I feel like]

Sigh, people really do love that used tampon joke, don't they?

 

[Al from Dadeville]

Anime girls rinming horses?! Where do you even find shit like that?!

Why? You want some?

 

[Omori Boy]

I wouldn't be shocked if Kelce was explicitly chosen by Swift for such perversions explicitly because he was white as far as Soros and the NFL/Big Pharma initially wanting Taylor to get blacked and she drew a line and requested a white guy if she's going to be forced to prostituted out in the latest round of hoop jumping Soros is forcing Swift to go through before once again pulling the football away ala Lucy.

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

As I've said before.

Jews be Jewin'.

 

[rubytintedchix]

He just reminds me of one of those kids on the Shriner Hospital commercials like this. Like he is waiting for prosthetic legs, or something.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I can't say anything here that isn't racist against Jews, Muppets, and Wil Wheaton.

 

[Gog & Magog]

And then it just ends there. Unresolved mid-screeching.

 

[LurkTrawl]

You could just try eating less then you'd agree with kiwifarms staying up.

 

[Your Best Friend]

I check in on Jack's thread maybe once a month, just to see if he's had another stroke yet. Other than that, it's the same old same old with him.

 

[Pedophobe]

The corpse of “shame” has been rotting in a ditch for years now, and at this point I’m not sure who to blame.

and by meat and two veg i mean food not a euphenism for cock and balls so dont be immature

It’s some kind of universal truth that anyone who calls themselves an empath is always, without fail, the absolute opposite

The more time I spend here the less I believe anyone is normal.

You’d get run out of academia now for saying not only is the empress wearing no clothes but she’s also sitting too close to kids with a throbbing erection.

"I don't really know how to say this without being called transphobic but I like cis women"

 

[Neighborhood Janny]

sorry i only care about this because of sneed

 

[Mutthole]

Porn director Muttley: "Bring me the endoscope"

I am the entire autistic spectrum and I shine with every color of faggotry

 

[KiwiFuzz2]

Saruman went to middle earth a lot earlier than Gandalf, and Gandalf left shortly after he died, so Saruman would be the elder wizard

You can't just say that and not break my dreams more by not saying what you think about the weird documentary by Werner Herzog.

even odds that its leftie stochastic terrorism

The Davos dream of a paradise for rentier-overlords who sit back and sip pina coladas while collecting rents from feudal serfs doesn't take into account a little thing which you'll start seeing a lot more of as people are financially barred from basic life milestones like owning a vehicle, homeownership, marriage, having kids, and so forth.

That little thing is called arson.

TAYTAY WINS
SNEED WINS
WILLY GAY WINS
CALIFORNIANS LOSE FOREVER

We shall go on until the end, we shall fight in San Francisco, we shall fight on the highways and streets, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the charging stations, we shall defend our burger joints, whatever the cost of fries may be, we shall fight in the cul-de-sacs and laneways, we shall fight on the track, we shall never surrender and even if, which I do not believe for a moment, this land or a large part of it were carbon-neutral and gay, then our hombres beyond the border, supplied and fed by the welfare system would carry on the struggle until, in God's good time, the third world, with all its Isuzus and loud, jarring music, burnouts forth to to the rescue and liberation of the USA

 

[Aunt Carol]

She now goes by some retarded sounding name, has a really bad short hair cut, rejects Christ, and owns multiple capes.

 

[RACISM]

The introduction of ass-eating to this thread has not improved it.

 

[LastStableVersion]

Hitler was a gay pedophile with 1 testicle and no testicles and a micropenis and was a jew that was addicted to cocaine and meth and bull semen

 

[Gentlebastard]

I diagnose him with cluster F personality disorder for fat, faggot, and failure. That's just how fat he is, he gets more clusters than regular people.

I now identify as Joe Biden.

*goood....feels nice and lean there Tyrone.....you are going to be perfect my little baby nubian child"

this is the equivalent to him watching a neighbor slowly walk over to his porch, place a rake right in front of his door such that stepping foot outside the door will cause the rake's handle to flip up and smack whoever stepped on it in the face, then after he watches the neighbor leave, opening the door and intentionally stepping on the rake so it smacks him in the face

On an unrelated note, big ups to the many posters in this thread who trawl the trenches of modern social media to bring us this content. Reddit in particular is one of the worst user experiences out of any website on the Internet. We all really appreciate the constant funny posts that would go unseen by Kiwi eyes if not for you!

I've patposted verbally around my girlfriend enough times that she's started to do it too. Eventually all the world's stalker children will be told to enjoy prison, as god intended.

throbbing boner aside,

He has the self awareness of road kill.

ENJOY PURGATORY, CHERUB!

"i'm full of female hormones, of course I'm lady!"
I inject dog scrotum extract into my eyeballs weekly. Woof ruff bark bow wow wow.

 

[Anne Hyroe]

Someone needs to explain how bunny teeth are supposed to be hot. I'm waiting.

 

[JustSomeDong]

I sound like a fucking insane person, but all of this is factual.