random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Lithuophile]

How does Ralph afford air conditioning?

He cools himself off by rolling in mud.

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

This thread has confirmed for me that the handmaids' tale is a utopian piece of fiction

 

[Tablet County]

Are you calling me a retard for endlessly arguing with an autist about cartoons?!

 

[Skitarii]

SHO was also raped by BBL and kept in Lithuophile's rape dungeon

 

[JustSomeDong]

You hate metric because its different. I hate metric because it was invented by French Communists. We are not the same.

So basically, in a deranged way, simping is the way forward. Bet you didn't have that one in your bingo card!

 

[Useful_Mistake]

NO STALKER MAILMAN, YOU WILL NOT DELIVER THESE CRIMINAL LETTERS TO ME! ENJOY PRISON!

 

[Poonocchio]

"My wife and I are struggling with capitalism" is a pretty fancy way of saying "I flushed all our savings down the shitter by guillotining my dick off and rendering myself unemployable and reliant on constant medical care for the rest of my life as a result".

 

[I'm Retarded?]

I'm a sigma male, okay, alright? I can... I dominate a lot of autists daily, autists I work with. I dominate them. I absolutely dominate the autists at my threads. I dominate them with my sarcasm, my unspoken rizz, the way I talk, my eye contact, my hand motions, my body language. I dominate! Daily! On a daily basis. Even the femcels. I dominate them, I dominate the femcels at my threads, okay, I use a combination of lies, manipulation, cheating, stealing, gaslighting, bullying, insulting and flexing to make sure that everybody in my threads stay under my thumb where I want them.

 

[Pedophobe]

Even if the ENTIRE FORUM is compromised of unemployed, basement dwelling neckbeard incels, at least we have one thing you don't, our dignity is still intact.

(Had to cheat a bit with that one because the good general was possibly a bit tired & emotional when they wrote it)

What a fucking embarrassment you have turned yourself into.

Seeing a guy like this would be really sad, if he didn't Broadcast it willingly.

"You started this. Anything that happens to you is your own fault"

 

[LastStableVersion]

MA THE FAT FAGGOT IS ARGUING WITH HIS TOILET AGAIN!

 

[frozen_runner]

Herro, US Navy, can I join? Yes my rame is Mao She-Dong. Yes I am a twanssexual. I hear u Americans big on that.

why did they name a country after a picture file format

To quote Otae; "If I'm sorry was enough, Seppuku wouldn't exist."

Shit like this explains so much why nips are naturally autistic.

I once had a dream where John Oliver was doing call-ins and I got on and started screaming “Nigger” and he freaked out so bad it induced a seizure.

It’s one of my greatest dreams tbh, even better than the one where I was blown in the backseat of a limo by three big titty Muslim women.

You know you don't pass when even the Canadian legal system says you're just a dude in a wig

This is the worst thing to ever happen on January 6th

You can't have globohomo without the homo.

YO WAS THAT A STRAIGHT UP OHIO RIZZFERENCE? SHIGGY MY NIGGY

How do you say "truscum" in Spanish?

Cue a Lovecraftian mental image of a Trans Ouroboros eating its own...tail...

Is the phallus at least oak?

The English words in that sentence give it an uncanny sheen. It's almost language, almost, so close! But then hershita timsina vagcheese.

"I was a child slave.

In Roblox."

 

[Gentlebastard]

This is extremely concerning… Libsoftiktok is trying to compete with us for cyberbullying trannies to death saying mean things about them.

He has a website where he offers the usual tech services: building a website, designing an app, carrying your unborn child in his womb for nine months...

Yes, for the low low price of $60,000, you too could impregnate a transvestite!

I wonder if he's got a box lined up for the fetus to gestate in?

I know I'm feels-posting here but I genuinely do hope this kid gets the fuck off Reddit (and the internet as a whole), stops wearing dresses and touches a industrial quantity of grass.

I sort of agree with them, he's an utterly insane moron.

I hate the retards on our side moreso than leftists, because they make us look bad.

I was unaware that a chicken could be homophobic but I guess chickens are based now?

That is the face of a man that watches black men fart in his wife's vagina- and likes it.

Why does this guy look like a sex pervert in every still photo?

The lack of "I locked myself in the bathroom to cry" is an anticlimax.

It's also pretty interesting to see first-hand people seething about Kiwi Farms in the wild (as opposed to seeing screencaps of people seething about this site, posted on this site).

 

[JustSomeDong]

If someone handed me a wooden dick I will absolutely be sword fighting at lunch with it.

 

[grenouille crétine]

[tumblr screenshot] “Why Gorge Floyd? Sometimes, a person just ends up becoming something bigger.”

 

[MrJokerRager]

Tucker Carlson: antagonistic but polite interview with Putin

Jon Stewart: "Dude, you're a poopoo head, a meanie, stupid, and I don't like you."

Hard-hitting stuff. The "Party of Science and Education" indeed.

 

[Dire Dire Cocks]

......im sick of pretending ER wasnt downright sexy ok?

 

[macrodegenerate]

The path to Total Kiwi Victory shall be paved with the corpses of paedophiles.

 

[Black Man Underwear]

@Bri'ish Teef

schizoPHRENIA! schizoPHRENIA!! schizoPHRENIA!!!!!!!

She should have spent that money on Goldbelly pies instead of designer handbags. Not because it's a better investment, but because the KF Research Institute shows that the pies are a stepping stone to killing yourself.

 

[Tablet County]

now all of China (the ATF) knows your here.

You just gave me a picture book of two dudes having sex.

"We white folk don't do this rucking, map reading, canoeing and hatching the dead anymore. Just like a drywall installing or cleaning hotel rooms. It's more of a job for a Mexican or Nicaraguan, Y'know?...

Security clearance? What are you talking about? They don't understand English. They can't read classified material, It's perfect; we just say 'Juan, este hombre matalo' we point the finger, and it's done! And for cheap too! Best outsourcing we've ever done!"

Indoctrinate your children at age-appropriate reading level, please.

Wypipo don season dey ass

 

[ロボ﹏§¤r﹏h¶rœ]

As William Burroughs, known faggot, once said: "The best undercover identity for a government agent is homosexuality." Or something along those lines. I interpret that sentence a bit more literally: if you are gay, you are working for the government, even if you're not on the payroll. Yes, even any faggot Kiwis here reading this, YOU are a fed.